wreckedhero Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 Do you tell her you are going no contact and explain the reasons why or do you just continue to ignore until she tells you what you want to hear? I'm in my first day of no contact and I have a feeling she will text for her weekly ego boost. I just hope that she gets the pain she is causing me now by contacting and teasing me and that she leaves me alone.
Timbo22 Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 Listen man I was strung along for 6 months in the worst possible way clingly on to hope and trying to persuade her back. Don't do it unless she is calling you or at your doorstep begging you to take her back. If you don't you will only push her away even more and you will become her safety net. This is exactly what happened to me, gl man...
Mack05 Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 Do you tell her you are going no contact and explain the reasons why or do you just continue to ignore until she tells you what you want to hear? I'm in my first day of no contact and I have a feeling she will text for her weekly ego boost. I just hope that she gets the pain she is causing me now by contacting and teasing me and that she leaves me alone. I think it's a personal choice mate. In my opinion if you have had the breakup chat, then its best to stay NC. Some people though hate the idea of staring at their phones waiting for a text, so they make it clear to their ex that they want them to maintain NC. This can give the dumpee peace of mind. Really is up to you, but if you do break NC, let it only be the one time.. 1
Author wreckedhero Posted July 26, 2011 Author Posted July 26, 2011 I've broke it plenty of times mate but to be fair I've realised today that the pain of being in contact with her is hurting me too much. She's also got in contact with me on plenty of occasions. I need some advice with this. I still want her back so I think it would be wrong of me to tell her to leave me alone? And even though it's 99 % unlikely I will carry that glimmer of hope with me. I think after a month or so if she hasn't texted with anything significant that she will just forget about me and THATS WHAT I NEED TO HEAL. Sorry i've answered my own question. As you can see I'm an emotional wreck but that butterfly has disappeared until I go to work in an hour and see her lol. I just wont reply till I get what I want and if that's never then she will never hear from me again. Face to face is a different matter. That might be unavoidable but it will only be a short hello. If she thinks I'm childish for going no contact then so be it.
Bito Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 Don't respond to anything less then a full fledged atempt at reconciliation. That's of course assuming you want that. Anything less is breadcrumbs and them looking for nothing but a ego boost and assurence that you are still on their string. Stay no contact. 1
t_i Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 Don't respond to anything less then a full fledged atempt at reconciliation. That's of course assuming you want that. Anything less is breadcrumbs and them looking for nothing but a ego boost and assurence that you are still on their string. Stay no contact. x 2 My ex text me after 4 days NC and he said he missed me that its difficult blah blah he misses me most in the mornings etc etc - I thought this was a massive 'i regret this' But it wasnt. Wise up - they left you and they're trying to keep texting you abit to help THEM move on. Like a drug addict they're getting taken off you slowly. I dont want to wake up in 6 months time realising ive clung onto hope, which came in weekly, needy bursts from my ex, only to realise I've been used untill he's moved on and I havent done much healing. Im sure you dont want that either. I think be nice and reply somthing short. And let them wait for a few hours first. Just remind them that you're broken up and you dont think its wise to speak yet. That means they'll be left having to deal with their emotions rather than use you for a quick fix.
radiodarcy Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 ideally it would be best not to say anything. but when i went NC the first time, the ex contacted me periodically, i responded but was brief. however, it only set me up to break NC - - which i did after 2.5 months. the second time i went NC was not long after he told me he was actively looking for a girlfriend. i told him i would not be able handle a friendship with him anymore as it would be too difficult once he did find someone else and that i would be returning to NC. i did not tell him not to contact anymore. i simply left it at that and logged off (the conversation took place over IM). aside from a phone call (which i did not answer) and a voice message (which i deleted without listening to) i have not heard from him since and that was five months ago. and while it admittedly bothers me that i haven't heard from him. it has made my healing much easier. you can send your ex a brief note as i did. if she respects you, she will give you that time to heal. but if she continues to contact you after that, ignore her. and if it gets to be a nuisance, you can always change your number.
Surf Rider Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 Do you tell her you are going no contact and explain the reasons why or do you just continue to ignore until she tells you what you want to hear? I'm in my first day of no contact and I have a feeling she will text for her weekly ego boost. I just hope that she gets the pain she is causing me now by contacting and teasing me and that she leaves me alone.[/QUOTE] DO NOT ANSWER HER BACK.I know it is hard, but if you answer her back it will only make things worse. My ex left me over a year ago and she broke my heart in 2. There is nothing to explain. She broke your heart. You deserve better than her. I agree with you 100%. She thinks it is a game. Give her a dose of her own medicine. Good luck bro.
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