pocketsize Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 Me and my boyfriend (well now ex) broke up this week, he finished things with me as he said he just doesnt feel the same way about me anymore. It hasnt been a horrible breakup and I dont blame him, you cant help how you feel. But i feel like my heart has been ripped from my chest. We were together for about 2 years and overall the relationship has been a great one, we didnt really have any problems. Someone please tell me this feeling in my stomach is gonna go, i cannot stop crying. Im trying to keep busy but as soon as I stop and think im in tears again. I have literally just come off anti depressants for things that happened years ago and although Im upset, I wouldnt say im depressed but I just wish this awful gut wrenching feeling would disappear. I know its hard to say how long but surely this doesnt last forever... :-(
littlebit35 Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 all in due time <> just think you have your freedom again to do things you want to do and not have to answer to him or anybody <> I lost my husband sometime ago and I to felt sad but I looked at the other side of the pic. and I am doing what I want to do now and I love my freedom
amethyste Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 I (and some other people around here) started to feel slightly better during the 3rd week of NC.
melenkurion Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 I promise you it goes, it really does. Right now you feel like this pain will never end. But it does get less, gradually, bit by bit. You get your strength back.
Arlia Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 Pocketsize, I feel your pain as I'm in a similar situation. The breakup was due to her not loving me anymore, and she developed feelings for someone else. There were no cheating/abuse or anything harsh. I met her a few times after the BU in a bid to rekindle things. We get along great, but her romantic feelings are no longer there so I had to give up. Now I'm 1 week into NC. I feel up and down all the time. Every morning I wake up thinking about her and I feel depressed the whole morning/early pm. After a while the pain in the chest gets weaker, but il still hurts. I don't know how long it will last, but do find comfort in that you are not alone, I share your pain. Cry when you feel like crying as it helps, but try not to dwell to much on "why it became like this" or "I should have done this and that".
Layzie89 Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 For me, the first month was when I hurt the most. Second month was more anger and resent about the whole situation. Towards the end of the second month I began to accept the breakup and force myself to look at it more positive than negative. The third month of NC is when I started feeling better.
English-Rose Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 The pain does subside but there are certain things you can do to help it along it's way, for example absolutely no contact with your ex and don't respond to contact he may make with you. It's hellish to begin with but 3 weeks into nc and I am honestly 100 times better than I was before and my break up was almost 4 months ago now! I don't know what ur situation is and if you have had any previous break ups. I'm in my 30's and have had two significant break ups prior to my current situation. They were a long time ago, like 12 years ago and 14 years ago respectively. I was absolutely gutted with both of those break ups, thought I'd never love or be loved again!! It has actually helped me to think about those break ups and feel totally indifferent about both guys. I know that in time I will feel the same indifference for my current ex. If you have a significant other ex, try and see for yourself if thinking about them makes you feel indifferent. It's only been a week for you, don't be hard on yourself. You have to grieve the loss of the relationship but don't prolong this by allowing him to feature in your life in any way. Deal with it like it's over forever, maybe it is maybe it isn't but either way you shouldn't be living your life aiming for a reconcilliation. What will be will be. Hope you are starting to feel a bit better x
Hakuryu Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 For me I don't know how long it hurt...months...I stopped counting after the 10th weeks. I was emotionally not ready for a break up though, so I guess it stuck with me a lot longer. Even after a year, whenever I saw her I just feel nolgastic, and get sharp pain in my chest. So I don't think I was over her. Until I met this girl, which is now my ex, complicated break up, but it was for the best. Only this time I'm mature enough to break it up, and I think I'll be able to move on faster than the previous relationship.
ScienceGal Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 6 weeks and I am feeling better. I still have sad moments, and get frustrated and mad. But it's easing up some. I definitely agree with the no contact. I would not have made any progress if I was speaking to or seeing him.
Ghosst Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Your recovery time depends on so many things...we all heal in our own time. There are so many different circumstances....how deep was the love, was marriage discussed, did you spend every moment together or see each other once a week, do you feel you got closure when it was over, how many relationships have you had in the past, issues of depressions, issues of confidence and self worth....all different things affect our healing. After six months, I can finally look at the picture of my ex with his new GF and feel nothing. He is just someone I used to know. I do still think of him and what we had together but now it is just a memory. Some days up till now I felt I was getting better only to regress and feel like I had to start again but I always told myself that I was getting stronger every day. Tell yourself that. Every day is a new step. If today is bad, tomorrow or the next day will get better. I took up a new hobby, geocaching. Something that I did not have to rely on anyone else to do and I can do it whenever I need to get away from my life, from my thoughts. It uses my mind and gets me out exercising. Initially I thought if I just met someone new I would get over him faster. As I met people I realized they could see my unhappiness and that I would not be able to be ready for a new relationship until I could be happy being alone. I have stopped dating and I get happier every day. It does get better. No contact is a helper. New friends are a helper. Finding fun ways to spend your spare time is a helper. Talking and sharing here is a helper.
Recommended Posts