Ready2live4today Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 I'm going to make this brief; I'm 46, she is 44. We both were married a long time. Met her through Match.com. Both divorced; me 7 months but seperated 5 years prior to that, her 4 months but separated 2 years prior. I've had 5 relationships in 5 years nothing I've wanted, she's had a couple I guess. We've been going out a month, she is everything I've looked for and she stated I'm everything she's wanted. For the first time I fell in love, she was quite not there. we were steady for a couple of weeks and it was intense, too intense for her, she broke it off a week ago, but last night we decided to start over slow, as friends which means I know she is probably playing the field, which maybe bothers me a little but ok I'll go with it for now. Our sex was great and intense. Did it 5 times in 24 hours ran out of time. Sex is important to both of us. I've never cheated on anyone, never had a one night stand. Here's the question: We are going to go out again, I know the feeling or topic of sex is going to come up at some point. I'm going to ask her if she is doing it with someone else, if she says yes, I just won't be able to do it with her unless I'm the only one. I've always been that way. How would you react or think at this point?
azsinglegal Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 You're not in a serious, committed relationship so why is it your business if she's having sex with someone else? Why not have the "safe sex" conversation instead of prying if she's sleeping with someone else? Also, even if she IS sleeping with someone else, she's probably not going to tell you since it's an issue with whether or not you'll see her again. How about you just go out and have a good time and not worry about the sex conversation? Aren't there more important things to discuss?
nyc_guy2003 Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 I'm not implying anything, but women usually hit their sexual peaks around her age.
azsinglegal Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 I'm not implying anything, but women usually hit their sexual peaks around her age. Around 44? Try around 36.
morethanconfused Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 You're not in a serious, committed relationship so why is it your business if she's having sex with someone else? Why not have the "safe sex" conversation instead of prying if she's sleeping with someone else? Also, even if she IS sleeping with someone else, she's probably not going to tell you since it's an issue with whether or not you'll see her again. How about you just go out and have a good time and not worry about the sex conversation? Aren't there more important things to discuss? I strongly agree. Don’t ask her if she is having sex with someone else. It is none of your business. I understand that you would like to know but be patient and see how things will turn out in the end. And don’t ask questions if you don’t know if you could deal with the answer. What is if she would say yes but would change her mind in a few weeks and would like to have a relationship with you? You would always remember her answer and that she had sex with someone else. And even if she would say no, you can’t be sure if it would be the truth.
GorillaTheater Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 Meh, I say put your cards on the table. This may be more applicable to younger folks, but not wildly inappliacable to your relationship: if you're mature enough to f*ck, you should be mature enough to talk about it. You're wired for a monogomous sexual relationship, and I totally relate. So tell her that if she is or plans to have sex with others, you can't be a part of that. Trust her enough to be truthful with you because if you don't have that level of trust you're better off walking away anyways.
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