Ayla Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 So the guy that I dated for a few months earlier on in the year have been hanging out as friends for the last 2 months. He is also a good friend of my brother. I ended it with him, as he was not ready for a relationship as he was still getting over the hurt of being cheated on by his ex of 10 years and the mother of his daughter. I am not pushin things, as he is still not ready for anything more. Anyway - I thought that all the signs were pointing to the fact that he still liked me. Except for when he was on holidays we text, called or saw each other almost every day. We go out for coffee's etc etc. The other night I had dinner with him and his flatmate. he said a few things that i thought were rather positive. He was teasing me and I said to him, "be careful or I will hurt you" and he looked at me in a funny way and I said "with my hands". He said "I am glad you clarified that." and looked at me. I mentioned that I was going to be buying a house soon and he said "We could be neighbours, maybe we should get a duplex. Or a property." His flatmate and good friend always says things that imply that we should be together or that we are somewhat of a couple. Either in front of him or when he is not around. Today I dropped some DVDs over to his house, and he had to run out get pick up his daughter, andyway he invited me over tomorrow to watch DVDs with him and his flatmate...later on this afternoon, he text me and apologised for not being able to hang around, and would I like to get a coffee tomorrow. He is also coming over for dinner tomorrow night with my brother (and his gf) and the kids. Anyway we have been texting back and forth since and I teased him about staying at school tomorrow morning to help with the reading class. I replied with "I only do it because of the hot teachers and the MILFs." I have not yet replied and am tempted not to warrant the text with a reply. Have I read this all wrong, and I have been friend zoned??? I am so confused right now, have I read everything in the wrong way?
Yookie Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 Yes you're still just a friend. Isn't that what you asked for? If you are expecting him to suddenly realize that he wants a relationship with you, then you are setting yourself up for failure. If you can't handle being just friends then stop hanging around with him so much. In fact most would recommend you cut off all contact and date others.
sm1tten Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 I'm confused. I'm guessing you meant that he texted this: I only do it because of the hot teachers and the MILFs. I'm also confused because you broke it off with him because you felt he wasn't ready, and yet you are concerned that he is putting YOU in the friend-zone?
Author Ayla Posted July 27, 2011 Author Posted July 27, 2011 Yes, sorry i meant he wrote that text. When I ended it with him, I made it clear that it was because I liked him, probably too much, but he was not ready (it was clearly obvious that he liked me but was not over the hurt and pain). I also said to him that maybe when he was ready we could get to know each other again. I don't think those things indicate that I only wanted to be friends. We had coffee this morning, and he mentioned the Mums and teachers again. Telling me that there are some good looking ones there, but they were married. When taking me home, he bought them up for the second time, and after a few minutes he said "I guess you don't really want to hear about the Mums at school"... I must have made it a little obvious that I didn't. I replied "no, not really". A mutual friend reckons he is trying to make me jealous. If it is the case-it worked!!!
sm1tten Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Okay, I think I get it now. It's possible that he is trying to make you jealous, but I think it's also possible that because you are not dating, you are friends. It doesn't mean that the possibility is lost for the future, but that's how I would have defined your relationship. Doesn't mean he doesn't like you. I also think that because you are spending so much time interacting with each other, he is probably not spending much time "getting over" his ex.
Author Ayla Posted July 27, 2011 Author Posted July 27, 2011 I guess so. It just made me feel awful...he has never said things like that before. After the nice times and the things he and his friend have been saying (which implied that he liked me more than a friend) it kinda came out of the blue. We didn't speak for 2 months after I ended, and have tried not to push anything. I don't really want to stop our friendship or anything as we have a lot in common and can talk for hours. Today was the first time things felt a little awkward.
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