ohbabyiluvu08 Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 please somebody tell me what to do with him.. we have been together for almost two years. we had our ups and down. to make the story short. he broke up with me "foreal" last week and just got back again 2 days ago.. he said he loves me and still deeply cares about me no matter what and now that he is with me he is willing to try again because at the same time he cant let me go. but for some reason i have the feeling that trying again would not work because he wanted the "butterflies" again and he said he does not have that anymore. he told me not to keep my hopes up because even though we are trying there are still chances that he would want to break up again and stop leading me on. i love him so much..i still have the butterflies whenver i am about to see him. even though he is willing to try again..i cant lose hope right? i mean i could still change his mind and make the butterflies come back to him?
0hpenelope Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 Um... these butterflies that come out are usually associated with the "Honeymoon Phase." This phase? A couple committed to each other keep the romance alive and the butterflies can change context. A few of my relatives have celebrated 40, 50-year marriages and they still act like it's the first time they've seen each other; very much in love. Your boyfriend is chasing an ideal. Also, you're feeling red flags. He broke up with you a week ago (not long enough for lasting changes, imo) and take him at his word of caution. Don't invest too much in this attempt yet. You can try to influence the scenario, but you actually can't make him feel the butterflies. It's a good sign that he wants to work things out with you, but be careful with yourself more. Match his efforts and don't give too much of yourself here. And don't freak out too much. This is why I encourage NC after a break up: establish a period of detachment and separation. During that time of being apart, it allows for forgiveness of the ex, the self, the past, etc. if forgiving is what the person wants to do. It also allows for just moving past the hurts of the relationship and cooling off high emotions from the break up. It sounds like your emotions are still high, too. But because reconciliations aren't linear, maybe you'll be successful with your getting back together in spite of being only a week apart from him. So good luck to you. Watch out for yourself, too; you're still very much on the shaky ground.
Author ohbabyiluvu08 Posted July 27, 2011 Author Posted July 27, 2011 but for some reason it doesnt feel right, even though he is willing to try he tells me that there is no "feeling" anymore. that he cares sooo much about me..last time when he was about to lose me. he found out i was about to date someone and we ended up talking at that time. he talked to me coz he didnt want me to go out with that guy. he is very confusing.. he even tells me that, "i have to found out that this is not all about sex." sighhh it doesnt make sense to me anymore. when we hang out, we always laugh..he always hug me and kiss me he even tried to touch me!! but he stop coz he respects me..he is really willing to try becaus he cares so much about me and he actually know what he will lose at the end.. im just scared that after doing this again, his feelings will never change......... for some reason i should not try and just suffer and move on.. but his very different .. i feel different towards him. my situation with him was "love at first sight connection" hahaahhahhahaha i never had that weird connection in my life.. like others, i dont wanna lose the guy i love so much, i cant see him walking away from me to be honest i dont like doing the NC thing because i wanted to show him for a little bit how much i deeply love him..coz i know myself very well, i get tired of it and move on.. and then completely forget that person... atleast i know i did my part and showed him that feelings i have..
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