kourtney01 Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 Total moodswing.. what brought this on? I finally made the bold leap of venturing into the dating world 4 months after a very painful break-up. (my ex cheated) The outcome made me feel like I never want to date again. Basically, I met this guy that I really like. First guy to give me butterflies since my ex. He's perfect for me...we have tons in common and I am super attracted to him. He's a pro salsa dancer and so am I...it doesn't get more perfect. I have to admit that I have noticed him in the past (salsa community is very tight-nit) but I was with my ex at the time so I never gave him any attention. (I was very loyal and in love with my ex) About a week ago, I went dancing and ran into this new guy there. He looked very good..we exchanged looks.. and my friends convinced me to add him on Facebook so I did in hopes that he was interested.. He messaged me right away on FB. At first it was small talk.. but it didn't take long for him to start flirting. Some KEYS things he said: -he asked me a lot of things about who I am, what I do, etc -he said "one day I'll have the pleasure of dancing with you" -he said "how about every time you go to club _______ to dance, I'll come pick you up and we'll go together".. to which I responded : "is that a date, a promise or a suggestion" and he said" it's more the first two not so much the last one :)" There were 126 msgs exchanged between us within 3 days.. (morning to night).. the last msg was him asking me what time he can pick me up when we go dancing and I told him maybe it's easier if he texts me at this point and that we can figure it out when we talk.. and I gave him my number.. he texted me within 10 mins! At this point it seemed like he was interested no? Well the wknd rolls around and he was going to a dance competition in a diff city for the wknd. He never invited me but I figured he had plans with his salsa academy already.. plus we haven't even gone on a formal date at this point yet (it's only been a week) SInce I gave him my number he texts me through out the day and sometimes at night too.. just small talk, how my day is going, and asking me more questions about me.. sometimes he would flirt a bit like send me winks or smiley faces. ANYWAYS.. he goes to his competition and I don't hear from him the entire wknd which is fine because I know he's busy..then today, out of nowhere, he texts me early in the morning while I was at work.. again saying hi with a smiley face..this was our convo: him- hey me- hi him - what are you up to me - working away.. busy morning u? him - just had a long talk with my ex girlfriend.. wasn't sure what was going on but looks like we're over for good. Now there's weird tention between us so don't think I'll be talking to her for a while. (i'm thinking: where is this coming from) me- I see... doesn't sound like she's your ex yet. him - Oh trust me she is. It's over and today's convo solidified the deal me - sounds like you're still hung up on it.. didn't realize you were in the middle of a break-up (why would he flirt with me then) him- Well part of me still has feelings for her but a bigger part knows it won't work so I'm ready to move on me - that's good.. well I know how you feel my ex-fiancee cheated on me and it was very hard to walk away but i did it and i'm over it now. him- sorry to hear that.. yeah, I don't see myself ever getting married or having kids.. but maybe that's the young person in me talking (he's 22 and I'm 24) me- well, when you meet the right one you will change ur mind him- I just let fate decide my life..anyways that's my life me- cool him- well at least we're getting to know each other even though it's thru text me- yeah too bad it's just text him- well now that I'm done competing I have more time me- good to know him- don't take that as like I wanna get with you cuz it's not like that (huh???) me- um.. ok no problem.. I guess you're not interested in that way then.. I get the picture? him- I guess I am just a friendly guy me- lol ok guess so.. cool well I gotta get back to work have a nice day him- u too! what the heck was that??? My ex is in the salsa scene too.. could he have something to do with this??? How can someone flip like a coin just like that? did he get wind of all the drama I had with my ex (there was a lot of it and some ppl know about it.. but my ex has already moved on with someone else..didn't take him long either) Is he telling me the truth about the ex? none of this makes sense! I need a guy's perspective please help!
Mr. Slim Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 Only thing I can think of is maybe he was trying to stress that he's not just trying to "get with you" as in sign up for an instant relationship, seeing as how you are both coming off of them. Either that or... he's just a friendly guy
Author kourtney01 Posted July 26, 2011 Author Posted July 26, 2011 Only thing I can think of is maybe he was trying to stress that he's not just trying to "get with you" as in sign up for an instant relationship, seeing as how you are both coming off of them. Either that or... he's just a friendly guy A friendly guy that asks random girls he's not interested in out on dates and texts them from morning to night and compliments them only to tell them he's not interested after? It makes no sense.. did something happen..?
Wings1068 Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 hmmmm this is a problem with texting. i dont think you have much to worry about b/c to me it looks like he was trying to reassure you that he wasnt just looking for a quick rebound. All to often when you text you are thinking one thing but the words make it look like something else. however, simply ask him to clarify, he seems into you but maybe wants to do it right and take things slow seeing as how you are both recent breakup-ees
D-Lish Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 It sounds like he's still dealing with the pain of his break-up which is apparantly really recent and fresh. He's not ready to date AT ALL. Thats doesn't have anything to do with you, that's his issue. He might have thought he was okay to date- then he has a conversation with his ex and realizes he's still hurting too much to start dating so soon...
Author kourtney01 Posted July 26, 2011 Author Posted July 26, 2011 hmmmm this is a problem with texting. i dont think you have much to worry about b/c to me it looks like he was trying to reassure you that he wasnt just looking for a quick rebound. All to often when you text you are thinking one thing but the words make it look like something else. however, simply ask him to clarify, he seems into you but maybe wants to do it right and take things slow seeing as how you are both recent breakup-ees Well.. I did try to clarify it by saying "i guess you're not interested in me" and he said "he's just a friendly guy".. I figured if he liked me he would have said something like: Just want to take things slow.. let's get to know each other and see where it goes.. And I'm not some obssessed freak either.. those texts were not necessary.. I didn't bother him all wknd while he was away dancing.. he could have left it casual until he was ready.. why make it clear to me through text that he wants nothing..
Wings1068 Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 well hold on a mo... is what was in your OP a quote? because there you said not interested in that way and remember he believes you know what he means (again i blame text and not actual voice or body language) so when you reply that way he thinks you are just confirming what he said. to me it looks like hes not wanting to rush into a hook up situation. i could be wrong Im just saying what the text looks like to me
Recommended Posts