Today was supposed to be our anniversary and now I'm stuck seeing him in 2 weeks :-/

[Kathyy28]

I went out today to an amusement park with some of my cousins and friends to make sure my mind was preoccupied all day so I won't get depressed about what was supposed to be such an amazing special day. On our way back home as I was driving my friend tells me that he thinks he saw my ex at the park. Well curiosity killed the cat and I ended up calling my close friend who is married to my ex best friend and asked her if she was aware that my ex was at the same park as I was today. She didn't know BUT she told me bigger news that grabbed me by surprised.

 

Since my ex and I had known each other for over 12 years we have had a lot of mutual friends. Six weeks ago one of our mutual friend's had made an event on FB about this awesome obstacle challenge that it's 3.14 miles all the way in NY that takes place on August 14th called Warriors Dash. Although this has ALWAYS been one of my top bucket list choice I wasn't sure if I should go since my ex was also invited, and I didn't want to take steps back since I've done so well the past 2 months. The last day to sign up was last Friday at 3pm. My ex had told our mutual friends a billion times that he probably wasn't going to go. Even on Thursday he had spoken to my friend's husband and told him that he was broke so he WASN'T going to go. I purposely waited till last minute to buy my ticket so it will be confirmed if he was or wasn't going to go, since he confirmed that he wasn't, my friend her husband and I had bought it that Thursday night. An hour after we bought it my ex had called his friend and I guess his friend told him how we all just bought our tickets and stuff and guess what? My ex decides to buy his ticket that same night before midnight.

 

I feel like he did that on purpose since he knew that I was officially going. He also had 6 weeks to buy his ticket and and hour before I paid for mine he had said he was NOT going to go, and now he is. He did try to use some groupon as an excuse to see me a few weeks ago and I completely turned him down. I feel like he did this cause now I have no choice but to see him. I don't know what to do :-/. Most likely we will be stuck in the same car cause he lives one street away from me so it will be more convenient to have all the people from the same area to ride in the same car. *Sigh* what now? I don't know how to act or say or what. Advice will be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance

[shortee143]

ok- so how to act or what to say, you ask??

 

Well, I have been broken up with my ex for about 5 months, and long story short, but we have a ton of mutual friends. It is quite possibly the crappiest thing ever, as I just never want to seee him again! So the advice I can give you, as someone who has seen her ex way to many times post breakup...DONT stress on how to act. I swear every time I have seen him, I have done that, and it never goes the way I want hah. I say I'll ignore him, then I dont. Then other times I act friendly, and then just get angry. Best bet- just play it cool, keep any emotions in check....if you say/do nothing....then you cant mess anything up. I would love to go back in time, knowing what I know now. It is of course, up to you on what'll make you most comfortable, but in my opinion, the less you say, the better...I know for me it was tough, bc I have SO much I needed to (and still need to) say, but I just keep my mouth shut, a "hello" is good enough, and all my ex deserves. Do your best- seeing the ex sucks

[Kathyy28]

ok- so how to act or what to say, you ask??

 

Well, I have been broken up with my ex for about 5 months, and long story short, but we have a ton of mutual friends. It is quite possibly the crappiest thing ever, as I just never want to seee him again! So the advice I can give you, as someone who has seen her ex way to many times post breakup...DONT stress on how to act. I swear every time I have seen him, I have done that, and it never goes the way I want hah. I say I'll ignore him, then I dont. Then other times I act friendly, and then just get angry. Best bet- just play it cool, keep any emotions in check....if you say/do nothing....then you cant mess anything up. I would love to go back in time, knowing what I know now. It is of course, up to you on what'll make you most comfortable, but in my opinion, the less you say, the better...I know for me it was tough, bc I have SO much I needed to (and still need to) say, but I just keep my mouth shut, a "hello" is good enough, and all my ex deserves. Do your best- seeing the ex sucks

 

Thank you so much! I think that's what I might do. Ugh it is so hard and this is the first time we will be actually around each other. I'm just dreading the drive. It's almost 4 hours going and 4 hours coming back. There's nothing more that I hate than awkward silence and I think that car ride will probably be full of that lol

[shortee143]

Your welcome!! Yea is will def be awkward! I cant tell you how many times, it has been myself, my ex, and like all other couples (our mutual friends). So weird....then to see him, I even sadly had to hear about his love/sex life. ughhh plus he has a been pretty terrible to me since the breakup.

 

But like I said, even after all these months, I am still all full of emotion/hurt/anger...and I have learned it is better to say little...bc it just never goes the way I plan. If I am nice- in my head I'm like wait, you arent friends, hes a jerk, and ur just being fake....but then I am like if I ignore him, do i like immature? etc....SO, that is why I say, keep it to a minimum! Hope it all goes ok for ya!

[leoc1973]

Hey I responded to you like a month ago. I thought you wanted him back? Is he using this race thing to be around you? Listen act like you couldn't give a crap about him. Fart and burp in front of him if you want he will think wow this girl couldn't care less about me. I will have to go and check some of your posts to see where your story went but I really thought you wanted him back? If you act like a quiet fidgety little girl he will know so try to have fun!

[Kathyy28]

Leo! I was looking for you a while back to update you about my situation. A week after I had posted the other post I had gone out with my group of best friends that I've known since 1st grade. Apparently someone we both mutually know had called him that night to tell him they saw me hugging and holding hands with some guy, which was crap cause never once was I with just a guy by myself, only a big group. He also knew I was with them because although I had deleted him from my FB, my other friends had tagged me in their check in's and he knows all of them. Since my close friend is married to his best friend he specifically asked him to ask her if I was seeing or dating someone new. Maybe I was just looking way into it but again I feel like he did that on purpose so my friend would tell me about it. He had contacted me a few days after too which I had also posted about it.

 

Don't get me wrong, I still love and care for him deeply. But the way that he has been handling the break up has really been turning me off and I feel that while I have tried my best to improve on my flaws, he has done the opposite. He has said and done things to hurt and disrespect me behind my back and I don't appreciate it. The ONLY reason on why I'm not looking forward on seeing him is because I do feel like he wants to talk to me, but I want him to STOP beating around the bush and not use petty little things as an excuse to talk to me. Just like you and many others on this site has said that if a guy wants to be with you he will make sure he will get you. I don't want to break NC by the breadcrumbs that he tries to throw me. I want to break it when he specifically hits me up to try and reconcile.

[leoc1973]

Good for you! I fell for the breadcrumbs with my ex again!! ugh. well it wasn't really breadcrumbs she pretty much told me right out that I am her perfect man and soulmate and all that garbage because she knows I have been seeing someone new. I fell for it, I really started liking this new girl too but now I can't stop thinking about her again. Man they seem to really know how to play the game.

 

When I broke up with my ex before her I still loved her but I cut her off completely so that she could heal because she is a good person and didn't deserve to be led on by me. I hear now that she met a great guy and I am so happy for her. That is what gets me, I can't understand someone playing games with my heart when I would never do it to someone else. I guess that shows her character.

 

I will tell ya what I would like to consider myself a fairly good looking guy and if you weren't all the way in boston I would make you mine. You are such a beautiful girl and you seem so sweet. You should give another guy a chance. It will bring him back I am almost certain. Just make sure you tell the new guy if you choose to start dating that you are still healing and have respect for yourself because the way to get over a man is not to get under another one! LOL

 

But in all seriousness he does seem to be sniffing around now you just have to make sure he knows that he is losing you to drive him back. Just from your posts tho you could do better I mean the guy either loves you or he doesn't. That is what I have been telling myself about my ex... she either loves me or don't and I don't wanna be with someone that doesn't love me! Good luck and make sure you keep me posted even if you end up back with him I am curious to know how your story turns out!

[Kathyy28]

I was just told yesterday that my ex might probably sell of his ticket to one of his friends now since he is not all that athletic and doesn't feel like he could finish off the obstacle. I spent the last week and a half preparing myself mentally for seeing him again and I was actually looking forward to it cause this could of had been my type of closure before I move. The event is next week... let's see how all of this turns out!