Soldier Meets Girl while Deployed... started off the break up story. What now?

[SoldierMed]

While I was in Iraq I was one of the many unfortunate Soldiers that had his Wife(Now ExWife) cheat on him and leave him while overseas. A month after calling it a quits while overseas I met a Girl that completely took me over. On my two weeks off I see her for my two weeks off and we instantly click... right before I leave on my plane to Iraq she admits to wanting to tell me something after everytime I hang up the phone... I reply with an I love you too. Six months later I return state side and I wait an additional 3 months before i decied to move from Mississippi to California to be with her. With full intentions of marrying her when enough time has passed he stays commited till the end. To me she was my everything... and still is.

 

Post Deployment Stress got the best of me and it took a toll on my relationship with her. I didnt know I was going threw post deployment stress but after some counseling ive got it taken care f for the most part.

 

She finally said "Lets just be friends" knowing how much I loved her. After a week or so I lose it and i begin a Drinking binge that last me 3 months. 2 months after my drinking binge had ended i begin to date with a vengance. One night stands, sex with Girls ive had as my friend for years, I begin to date a crazy amount of women at a time and i begin my Heart Break phase. After 20 something broken hearted girls i see what I am doing and i cool off. Its been 9 months after my break up with my Exgf that I loved more then I could understand and i still think about her.

 

Should I begin dating now that i reconize what i was doing wrong to get over my exgf... or should i keep giving it more time?

[SoldierMed]

During her break up conversation she told me that we could try again... not soon... but years from then. Feels like im hanging on and no matter which girl comes by she will just fill the whole untill my orgininal one comes back... how do i shake that? Not giving girls a chance is not what I want.

[Philosoraptor]

Whatever you decide to do, do it for yourself. Do it to make yourself better. If there is a chance in the future then it will happen, but don't live your life waiting for it because it may never come.

[SoldierMed]

I understand that waitting will only tear me apart. What im mostly unsure of is if I should continue to Date even though I know what is going on with me. I understand I was breaking hearts as a result of my pain, I know I wasn't giving girls a chance bc I was still waitting for my ex...

 

Halfway writing threw this paragraph I realized what u said... Do what's good for me...haha. I can't belive I was caught up with the story line that I forgot about what was good for me. Maybe a Career change and a move to a different city might be in order. Meet new people and such.

[Dblock10]

During her break up conversation she told me that we could try again... not soon... but years from then. Feels like im hanging on and no matter which girl comes by she will just fill the whole untill my orgininal one comes back... how do i shake that? Not giving girls a chance is not what I want.

 

easy. you realise this girl wasn't quite right for you. a girl or woman wouldn't do this to "you". you deserve better. you clearly have the right make up of a true gent and tbh i wouldnt hang on to some words she may have said. they mean little.

 

actions speak louder than words. if someone really wants to be with you they will. no matter what.

 

you walk your own path.. dont walk someone else's or try and walk by the side of there's, as they themselves wouldn't walk yours.

 

only when you both walk the same path will it be right.

[ScienceGal]

 

actions speak louder than words. if someone really wants to be with you they will. no matter what.

 

you walk your own path.. dont walk someone else's or try and walk by the side of there's, as they themselves wouldn't walk yours.

 

only when you both walk the same path will it be right.

 

Sad but true!

[SoldierMed]

Thank you... I guess I was blinded by the pain and loneliness from not having her around. She was a saint to put up with my PostDeployment Issues. Ill never forget her, She was my ideal woman. You bring up a good point though. Ill continue living my life and trying to get to what I want for myself. I just have to figure out away to stop getting sappy when I have a drink and try not to contact her. Hahaha... yeah... im that guy.