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Would you date someone who loved you very much, but did not find you beautiful?

temporaryvisa

By temporaryvisa
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zengirl Established Member

zengirl

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That bolded part is no class. If a guy builds up the courage to approach you, then the least thing you can do is be fair to him and either say you rather not want to give your number or give him your real number. That fake number thing is just disrespectful, but that's my opinion.

 

FTR, I agree with this. It really is a mean thing to do.

Nexus One Established Member

Nexus One

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I'm a bit scared what people will think.. Yeah :(

 

What's important is what makes you happy, not what pleases other people's opinions.

Rinas Established Member

Rinas

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I think you need to work on your insecurities before you get back into dating. If all you care about is how others see you, you shouldn't be out there right now.

Hot Chick Established Member

Hot Chick

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Why did you give the hot guy at Starbucks a wrong number?

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temporaryvisa Established Member

temporaryvisa

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1) the guy was gorgeous but seemed way older! 30+! I love older guys, but still.

2) the guy I kissed from work was there with us and lookin all sad and I was feeling impulsive

3) now I feel bad. I don't usually do that but I just felt awkward around the guy from work! Ididnt want to be rude to the hotguy in front of people/ his friends... He also paid for my drink :(

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temporaryvisa Established Member

temporaryvisa

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In the last post, I meant that the guy from Starbucks paid for my drink!

Eddie Edirol Established Member

Eddie Edirol

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1) I just don't know if this is fair to him

2) I am nervous, I don't want to have a wandering eye :( I am used to liking hot guys!

3) is it okay to pretend that I think he's hot? Seriously?

 

1.) it is NOT fair to him. You will eventually wake up with him in love with you one day, you will look at him and not want to date him anymore because of your lack of attraction.

 

2.) Your wandering eye will see a hot guy that seems nice one day and you will them want to dump this guy for the hot guy. Let him go before he gets anymore attached to you.

 

3.) It is certainly NOT ok for you to pretend you think hes hot, you will fill him with false confidence, then rip that confidence away when you dump him for a hotter guy. Also, you will be a horrible person if you lie to him like that.

 

Dont date him just because of what you "feel" at the moment, think about the long run and how you could crush him if you decided you couldnt look at him anymore. If you have any sense of empathy whatsoever, you will imagine how horrible he would feel if he got attached to you, but it was based on lies. Dont be that horrible person for your own emotional benefit.

Hot Chick Established Member

Hot Chick

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To me this guy you kissed is just friend material. If you spend more time with him, make it clear (in a nice way) that you don't feel the "spark" or chemistry. He seems like a really nice guy, and you feel a connection, but I think this connection is not a romantic one on your end. You deserve to date someone who you feel passion and sparks for...the way you describe this guy doesn't make it seem like you feel that.

Understand that telling him you don't feel that spark may be difficult for him and he may not want to see you after that.

There is a woman out there who will feel a "spark" for this guy, and he will return it for her. He deserves to have that chance, also, so let him down easy. ;)

DuskCrush Established Member

DuskCrush

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Has he asked you out on a date?

To me there doesnt seem to be any kind of debate here...its not like he's showing any interest in going out with you.

musemaj11 Established Member

musemaj11

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I feel sorry for the nerdy doormat chump.

 

But I think life is fair. If you are an ugly guy and you want a hotter girl, you have to pay to 'make up' for the difference. I mean yes you have to spend money on the girl. But she also has to have sex with you.

 

What sucks is when the chump spends a lot of money and he gets nothing. LOL

Chicago_Guy Established Member

Chicago_Guy

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Hmm.

 

At work, there's this really sweet guy. He is smart, funny, so sweet and seems so genuine.

 

He is a little chubby, not that cute or anything, wears nerdy glasses, kinda short... Etc.

 

He is also 26 years old.

I am 19.

 

One day we went for drinks after work, and he was a perfect gentleman- paid for all the girls drinks and was so sweet and funny, so not like otherguys I chill with. I got quite drunk and was pretty obnoxious but he still liked me and was so sweet. After, when everyone left, he walked me to the train and... Well one thing lead to another and we kissed!

Omg it was so nice. He is a good kisser, so sweet and he felt so guiltythat he was kissing a 19 year old- honestly, to me it's no big deal. I guess to him it is, but I think he likes me enough to get over it... It seems.

 

But now when I see him at work I really don't think he is that cute. I mean I can get over it, but is this fair to him. If anything progressed I wouldn't like him for how he looks, and is that fair? Does he deserve to have someone like him for how he looks AND his personality?

 

I'm used to dating very hot guys. Just today when I was in line with the uy from work, at starbucks, a guy bought me my drink and asked for my number. He was gorgeous- I gave him the wrong number but I still appreciated it. Guy from work was sad so I gave him a bit more attention and a little hug...

 

I'm ready to try something new... Dating from the heart.. But I like sexy men.. Shouldn't the uy from work want to be liked for his looks too?

 

You are 19 years old and seem to get a lot of attention from guys. Why waste your time dating that 26 year old if you don't even find him attractive?

Ross MwcFan Established Member

Ross MwcFan

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1) I just don't know if this is fair to him

2) I am nervous, I don't want to have a wandering eye :( I am used to liking hot guys!

3) is it okay to pretend that I think he's hot? Seriously?

 

No, you need to be honest. I don't mean you should say you don't find him that attractive, but it really doesn't seem like a good idea to pretend you think he's hot.

fitgirl Established Member

fitgirl

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Hmm.

 

At work, there's this really sweet guy. He is smart, funny, so sweet and seems so genuine.

 

He is a little chubby, not that cute or anything, wears nerdy glasses, kinda short... Etc.

 

He is also 26 years old.

I am 19.

 

One day we went for drinks after work, and he was a perfect gentleman- paid for all the girls drinks and was so sweet and funny, so not like otherguys I chill with. I got quite drunk and was pretty obnoxious but he still liked me and was so sweet. After, when everyone left, he walked me to the train and... Well one thing lead to another and we kissed!

Omg it was so nice. He is a good kisser, so sweet and he felt so guiltythat he was kissing a 19 year old- honestly, to me it's no big deal. I guess to him it is, but I think he likes me enough to get over it... It seems.

 

But now when I see him at work I really don't think he is that cute. I mean I can get over it, but is this fair to him. If anything progressed I wouldn't like him for how he looks, and is that fair? Does he deserve to have someone like him for how he looks AND his personality?

 

I'm used to dating very hot guys. Just today when I was in line with the uy from work, at starbucks, a guy bought me my drink and asked for my number. He was gorgeous- I gave him the wrong number but I still appreciated it. Guy from work was sad so I gave him a bit more attention and a little hug...

 

I'm ready to try something new... Dating from the heart.. But I like sexy men.. Shouldn't the uy from work want to be liked for his looks too?

 

try it girl. i was 19 when i met by bf of 29. i'm tall and fit and most guys think i'm hot and i could have gotten a hot guy. he's overweight but his sense of humor and heart and good career won me over and the love has grown and i want to be with him forever. seriously it can't hurt to give it a whirl.

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temporaryvisa Established Member

temporaryvisa

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All valid points... Also, not going to lie- he asks me out but I have no idea if he wants anything serious.

 

That'd be sweet! I don't meet guys like that too often.

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temporaryvisa Established Member

temporaryvisa

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I have a little crush on him, that's all. Maybe we can just be friendly til my work contract finishes.

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temporaryvisa Established Member

temporaryvisa

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He's actually not ugly nor really chubby. He's okay, just has a plump belly... Actually so do I.

carhill Established Member

carhill

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Sounds like you had beer goggles on. Once sober, your reality returned. I presume you haven't kissed him since.

 

That said, if the kiss had been a sober one and you recited your reaction as in the OP, I would opine not to underestimate the value of a good kiss and the attendant physical intimacy. Good luck.

JHS Established Member

JHS

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Only you know how important looks are to you.

This isn't necessarily true. Some people need the affirmation of knowing that their SO finds them attractive. So it's a question for him but it doesn't necessarily need to be asked or answered.

traces Member

traces

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My current boyfriend started as this type... On looks alone, I wouldn't go for him right away. He's was OK but a little strange looking, definitely the opposite of cool, haha (though he dresses really fashionable).

 

But then we got to talking, and eventually went on a real date. When we hit it off, it was amazing! When I saw his face light up, I fell for him. :laugh: He's a total dork but somehow, after seeing that side of him, it's become really sexy.... lol.

 

For you... If the spark isn't there yet, it may never be there. If that's the case, then you should let him find someone who's really drawn to him. But don't be afraid to give it a try and see if you can cause some sparks!

 

edit: And don't worry about what people think when they see you.... Sometimes people give me weird looks and ask why we're together, usually because he's so short (Maybe around 160cm.... I'm 155cm, about 5'1" haha, we're tiny1), but most people will then realize that it takes guts to follow your heart, and they will respect you.

Edited by traces
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temporaryvisa Established Member

temporaryvisa

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^ You're so sweeet :)

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temporaryvisa Established Member

temporaryvisa

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Actually, just found out that he is a virgin. Idk.

KR10N Established Member

KR10N

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1) I just don't know if this is fair to him

2) I am nervous, I don't want to have a wandering eye :( I am used to liking hot guys!

3) is it okay to pretend that I think he's hot? Seriously?

What's not fair? This guy could actually care about you. He might even make you fall in love w/ him. Soooo terrible! :p

 

Wandering eye? lol. Anyone can get those.

 

Why not? Eventually, you might think he's the sexiest man alive.

 

It's very possible to meet someone & not be physically attracted to them. I experienced something very similar. I met a really nice, funny guy who I was attracted to because of his personality. Later on, I ended up thinking he's really hot... & I still think that! :)

NursingGirl Established Member

NursingGirl

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I met a really nice, funny guy who I was attracted to because of his personality. Later on, I ended up thinking he's really hot... & I still think that! :)

 

Ditto! (different guy I'm sure) I hope so anyway.:p

KR10N Established Member

KR10N

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Ditto! (different guy I'm sure) I hope so anyway.:p
Unless he's traveled to the NC area recently, I doubt it. :cool:
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