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Would you date someone who loved you very much, but did not find you beautiful?

temporaryvisa

By temporaryvisa
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temporaryvisa Established Member

temporaryvisa

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Hmm.

 

At work, there's this really sweet guy. He is smart, funny, so sweet and seems so genuine.

 

He is a little chubby, not that cute or anything, wears nerdy glasses, kinda short... Etc.

 

He is also 26 years old.

I am 19.

 

One day we went for drinks after work, and he was a perfect gentleman- paid for all the girls drinks and was so sweet and funny, so not like otherguys I chill with. I got quite drunk and was pretty obnoxious but he still liked me and was so sweet. After, when everyone left, he walked me to the train and... Well one thing lead to another and we kissed!

Omg it was so nice. He is a good kisser, so sweet and he felt so guiltythat he was kissing a 19 year old- honestly, to me it's no big deal. I guess to him it is, but I think he likes me enough to get over it... It seems.

 

But now when I see him at work I really don't think he is that cute. I mean I can get over it, but is this fair to him. If anything progressed I wouldn't like him for how he looks, and is that fair? Does he deserve to have someone like him for how he looks AND his personality?

 

I'm used to dating very hot guys. Just today when I was in line with the uy from work, at starbucks, a guy bought me my drink and asked for my number. He was gorgeous- I gave him the wrong number but I still appreciated it. Guy from work was sad so I gave him a bit more attention and a little hug...

 

I'm ready to try something new... Dating from the heart.. But I like sexy men.. Shouldn't the uy from work want to be liked for his looks too?

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temporaryvisa Established Member

temporaryvisa

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The guy from work who I kissed didn't seem jealous of the gorgeous guy who asked for m number and bought my drink- he just seemed a bit sad. He has great self esteem and I mean he's not ugly. Just very average.

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temporaryvisa Established Member

temporaryvisa

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Uegh! Bump? :(

ptp Established Member

ptp

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Maybe I am weird and this maybe due to my own insecurity about how I look but, I wouldn't want to be the chubby guy.

 

If you were my SO I would feel like you were settling for me. When I am in a relationship with a girl I want to feel like she is attracted to me in a very raw, carnal way.

 

If anything you at least need to give him the illusion that you are extremely attracted to him.

 

Personally I don't think I could sustain any sort of romantic relationship with someone I am not physically attracted to so I don't know how you can do it.

Ruby Slippers Established Member

Ruby Slippers

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Only you know how important looks are to you.

 

In general, when you are better looking than the guy, he treats you a lot better, spends more money on you, pampers and babies you. Many women take advantage of this fact.

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temporaryvisa Established Member

temporaryvisa

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Thank you for your reply. :)

 

I am attracted to him in a tender, sweet way... I loved kissing him. It felt so special.

 

He's not fat, just a bit rounded.

 

I think he's a sweetie. Gah! I actually like him! Wow. This is so new to me. Ahhh! I mean the hot guy from the coffee line probably has a million girls' numbers!

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temporaryvisa Established Member

temporaryvisa

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My gosh, ruby!!! I would never take financial advAntage of him! Ever...

rafallus Established Member

rafallus

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If it's enough to turn you on, looks should be irrelevant.

Cee Established Member

Cee

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My boyfriend is a little chubby, not tall, and I find him absolutely delicious. I could get lost in his gorgeous blue eyes for hours. And his hair. Don't get me started on his hair. Or his smile. Or his...ahem...well, he looks great nekkid.

 

The truth is a woman will find her man irresistible if they've got the chemistry and compatibility. Tall, short, fat, skinny, it doesn't matter. Your calculated distance from him is a bad sign. You aren't into him and I suggest you set him free for a woman who would fall for him.

 

Unless...you are falling for him. Then carry on and enjoy. :)

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temporaryvisa Established Member

temporaryvisa

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1) I just don't know if this is fair to him

2) I am nervous, I don't want to have a wandering eye :( I am used to liking hot guys!

3) is it okay to pretend that I think he's hot? Seriously?

Ruby Slippers Established Member

Ruby Slippers

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My gosh, ruby!!! I would never take financial advAntage of him! Ever...

Yet you point out that he paid for all your drinks, and was sweet and nice, "so not like other guys". You have already noticed that he works harder for you than the typical guy. And that's the basic tradeoff: hottie with a body who won't go out of his way to be sweet to you because he knows he could have another woman easily, or nerdy sweet guy who will make things easier on you because he sees you as more of a catch.

Cee Established Member

Cee

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Remember that if he's hot to you, he's hot. Revel in it.

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temporaryvisa Established Member

temporaryvisa

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ActuAlly -ahem- I have had a lot of hot guys pay for me.. And work for me. Hot guys do like me, it's not that... It's hard for me to find anyone who I have romantic chemistry with and I think I've found him... Maybe

 

But everyone will make comments :(

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temporaryvisa Established Member

temporaryvisa

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And actually I am hard to get, sexually, even with hot guys! Everyone needs to work hard hahahaha.

 

Sigh.

I'm nutty.

Audrina Established Member

Audrina

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Not everyone would find my boyfriend attractive, but I do. I love his hazel eyes and that wonderful smile and dimples. You know what? At the end of the day, he makes me laugh more than anyone, appreciates me for me, and makes me happier than anyone ever has.

 

It's not about looks, it's about how he makes you feel.

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temporaryvisa Established Member

temporaryvisa

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I'm a bit scared what people will think.. Yeah :(

ptp Established Member

ptp

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Yet you point out that he paid for all your drinks, and was sweet and nice, "so not like other guys". You have already noticed that he works harder for you than the typical guy. And that's the basic tradeoff: hottie with a body who won't go out of his way to be sweet to you because he knows he could have another woman easily, or nerdy sweet guy who will make things easier on you because he sees you as more of a catch.

 

How can a woman be attracted to guy when they know this guy is being especially nice, buying them stuff etc... only because he has limited options?

 

Is that really attractive?

Ruby Slippers Established Member

Ruby Slippers

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I'm a bit scared what people will think.. Yeah :(

Most of them will probably think he has a big dick or is rich. (A guy I was dating once said that people would think that about him with me. :laugh:)

 

I know young people tend to care a lot about what others think, but it really means next to nothing.

 

Get to know him more. You might have a great time.

cerridwen Established Member

cerridwen

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ActuAlly -ahem- I have had a lot of hot guys pay for me.. And work for me. Hot guys do like me, it's not that... It's hard for me to find anyone who I have romantic chemistry with and I think I've found him... Maybe

 

But everyone will make comments :(

 

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temporaryvisa Established Member

temporaryvisa

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The thing is!!! He is nice to EVERYONE!!!!

 

Its not just his niceness, i swear.

I've dates a gorgeous nice guy and we had no chemistry or feelings

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temporaryvisa Established Member

temporaryvisa

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Wait what?

Audrina Established Member

Audrina

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I'm a bit scared what people will think.. Yeah :(

 

What do you mean you're worried what people will think?

Bridgey Established Member

Bridgey

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If it concerns you this much I doubt the relationship will work out. You should feel attraction towards him even if others might not, and what other people will think shouldn't bother you if you like him enough. I agree that this guy probably wouldn't like it if you dated him without finding him physically attractive. It'll become a problem later. If you look at him and think "wow, he's really attractive despite being a little chubby" then forget about what anyone else will think.

ScreamingTrees Established Member

ScreamingTrees

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I'm a bit scared what people will think.. Yeah :(

 

See, stuff like this is the reason why people who ADMIT to being immature (as I'm pretty sure you nochalantly joked about in another thread) are probably not ready for a real, long lasting relationship. You're already worried about what other people will think? If someone else really goes out of their way to let you know that they disapprove, they have any one of a HUGE number of issues or haven't really developed as a person.

 

I'm not saying you CAN'T try to make this work, as it seems like you really MIGHT like this guy.. But if you continue to second guess, just let the poor guy go, I'm sure he'll find someone who is genuinely attracted to every aspect of him without ever having to second guess themselves..

Nexus One Established Member

Nexus One

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Just today when I was in line with the guy from work, at starbucks, a guy bought me my drink and asked for my number. He was gorgeous- I gave him the wrong number but I still appreciated it. Guy from work was sad so I gave him a bit more attention and a little hug...

 

That bolded part is no class. If a guy builds up the courage to approach you, then the least thing you can do is be fair to him and either say you rather not want to give your number or give him your real number. That fake number thing is just disrespectful, but that's my opinion.

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