jonesandu Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 Hello I am in a relationship with a great girl. Our relationship is good in that we get on quite well and share some interests. She is quiet and calm and life is easy. I like her a lot. However I met up with my ex last week. I dumped her after a five year relationship as things were not good between us. We grew to really dislike each other and had so many arguments. She beacame a little crazy and I did too. I really thought that it was the best thing to do. She was angry, upset but is fine and with some other guy now. We have stayed in low contact for the past year. Anyway as I said we met up last week and I thought 'WOW'. I couldn't stop staring at her as she looked beautiful, She hasn't changed much to be honest I had just forgotten how attracted I was to her. I haven't been able to stop thinking about her all week and I feel guilty when I'm with my girlfriend. She is a sweet girl but plain and not as feminine as my ex, she just doesn't match up looks wise. How can I get rid of these feelings? Do I have to not see my ex again or do you think these thoughts will just pass?
zlatnapolja Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 Hello I am in a relationship with a great girl. Our relationship is good in that we get on quite well and share some interests. She is quiet and calm and life is easy. I like her a lot. However I met up with my ex last week. I dumped her after a five year relationship as things were not good between us. We grew to really dislike each other and had so many arguments. She beacame a little crazy and I did too. I really thought that it was the best thing to do. She was angry, upset but is fine and with some other guy now. We have stayed in low contact for the past year. Anyway as I said we met up last week and I thought 'WOW'. I couldn't stop staring at her as she looked beautiful, She hasn't changed much to be honest I had just forgotten how attracted I was to her. I haven't been able to stop thinking about her all week and I feel guilty when I'm with my girlfriend. She is a sweet girl but plain and not as feminine as my ex, she just doesn't match up looks wise. How can I get rid of these feelings? Do I have to not see my ex again or do you think these thoughts will just pass? Do you like your GF, are you in love with her and or do you love her? If you love her AND are in love with her, think about this: If you hadn't seen your exGF, would you still have all these in love feelings for your current GF? The thing you don't have is always more interesting than the thing you already have. If you get back with together with your old GF, will you end up with all the pain and arguments again? And If you dumo your current GF for your exGF, will you miss your current GF? I sort of understand you, I really do. But think about these things... Starting a relationship is easy, ending it is a lot more painfull. Good luck!
Author jonesandu Posted July 25, 2011 Author Posted July 25, 2011 I know. I have tried to reasses my feelings for my current girlfriend. She has qualities that my ex lacks and my ex has qualities she lacks. If all their qualities were rolled into one girl then that wouldbe the ideal!! So I really don't know what to do. It's the feelings I am having with my current girlfriend that I am worried about. I just can't get my ex out my head. I find her attractive and more so than my current girl. Because I know my ex and she's just not some girl who has caught my eye on the street I know what I would be getting if we were to start dating again. And I think my ex just may have what I have been searching for. Just didn't know it. Not only in terms of looks but I love her sense of humour. My current girl just doesn't make me laugh.
zlatnapolja Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 I know. I have tried to reasses my feelings for my current girlfriend. She has qualities that my ex lacks and my ex has qualities she lacks. If all their qualities were rolled into one girl then that wouldbe the ideal!! So I really don't know what to do. It's the feelings I am having with my current girlfriend that I am worried about. I just can't get my ex out my head. I find her attractive and more so than my current girl. Because I know my ex and she's just not some girl who has caught my eye on the street I know what I would be getting if we were to start dating again. And I think my ex just may have what I have been searching for. Just didn't know it. Not only in terms of looks but I love her sense of humour. My current girl just doesn't make me laugh. Hmm.. I think that the most important thing that you should do is: don't compare the two of them. Don't make it a matter of who you should pick. You should look at your current girlffriend and think: do I want to be with her? If yes, than be with her, if no: be alone for a while before getting back with your exGF. I'm getting a feeling, you didn't have any closure with your exGF. Don't make the mistake where you think you want your ex and then dump your gf. Get back together with your ex, realize its not going to work, but just needed closure and then realize you do want to be with your current GF.
Author jonesandu Posted July 25, 2011 Author Posted July 25, 2011 Don't make the mistake where you think you want your ex and then dump your gf. Get back together with your ex, realize its not going to work, but just needed closure and then realize you do want to be with your current GF. That's what my friend said will happen!!! However I do feel I had closure from my last relationship. I 'checked out' as you could put it months before I broke up with her and I really thought I was over her and I still think I am. It's just a case of attraction on many levels and this has come to the surface just recently. I think I do want to be with my current girl but I am attracted to my ex. I was initially pleased for her when I found out she had started dating again a few months ago but last week, hearing about her new guy. I feel jealous. It must be possible to have feelings for two women at the same time.
zlatnapolja Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 That's what my friend said will happen!!! However I do feel I had closure from my last relationship. I 'checked out' as you could put it months before I broke up with her and I really thought I was over her and I still think I am. It's just a case of attraction on many levels and this has come to the surface just recently. I think I do want to be with my current girl but I am attracted to my ex. I was initially pleased for her when I found out she had started dating again a few months ago but last week, hearing about her new guy. I feel jealous. It must be possible to have feelings for two women at the same time. Hehehe , I recognize the 'checking out months before breaking up' part! But how long after the actual break up did you start to date your current GF? I don't know what you are feeling, but make sure how you feel about these women before doing something you'll regret. The feeling you have for your ex GF, are these memories of how you felt about her before? Or are these new feelings? Your mind can trick you , you know;) If your current girl is the one, forget about the ex, because you dont want to hurt your girl;) If she's not the one, break up with her, be alone for a while, think about what you want and THEN MAYBE get back together with your ex;)
Author jonesandu Posted July 25, 2011 Author Posted July 25, 2011 Hehehe , I recognize the 'checking out months before breaking up' part! But how long after the actual break up did you start to date your current GF? I don't know what you are feeling, but make sure how you feel about these women before doing something you'll regret. The feeling you have for your ex GF, are these memories of how you felt about her before? Or are these new feelings? Your mind can trick you , you know;) If your current girl is the one, forget about the ex, because you dont want to hurt your girl;) If she's not the one, break up with her, be alone for a while, think about what you want and THEN MAYBE get back together with your ex;) All good advice, thank you. I think these feelings are new feelings. I am seeing my ex in a different light if that makes any sense.However I feel some of the old feelings aswell such as I way I felt about her when we first started going out together and I love her sense of humour -we just totally get each other in that way. I got together with my new girlfriend very soon after we broke up, about one month I think. So I think we got together too soon. I don't know if she's the one, I don't normally think like that I just take each day as it comes. I do know that I like my current girlfriend and that we have fun together. I have a feeling that my ex is getting more serious with her new bf and that I may lose her altogether if I don't sort these things out soon. Though I don't think I want to get back with her - sort of 'been there, done that' feeling...
Recommended Posts