girlygirl505 Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 Hello all, new to LS and the dating scene and really need some insight from you experienced daters...especially men. After divorcing my ExH of 11 years, I was finally ready to start dating. Met a few interesting people then one guy in particular who I've been seeing exclusivly now for 4.5 months. We both have kids and we did not make it to the point in which we were ready to introduce the children so our time together was limited. We were both so into each other that we made it work by seeing each other once a week (date & overnight stay) and spent every other weekend together. It was awesome because we had our family time with the kids, then a whole other world that included just the two of us when our kids were with their other parent. We got along very well, in fact, not one single fight during the whole 5 months, had a great time together, amazing sex, got along well with my friends and me with his friends and co-workers, etc. Last week, my bf found out his ex's boyfriend became violent with her and his son. He flew into a rage and paid the guy a visit (at the home that the boyfriend, ex and son share together) and beat the boyfriend up. Cops were called. My bf's son was removed from the mothers care and he ended up taking his son on full time until the courts figure out what to do. His ExW is currently looking for a place to live and my bf is looking to get a protective order for his son against this guy just in case the ExW and the boyfriend get back together. Since all this took place, I understandably have been put on the backburner. Very few calls, text message, no time spent together at all. I finally talked with him today and he told me that he's had a blast with me and is so terribly sorry but he needs time to figure all of this out with his son. He said that if he takes full custody of his son, there may be no time for "us" but not to hate him, forget about him or lose his number. I was shocked but I guess I understand. I am just so hurt that he'd drop me instead of letting me be there with him to work through this. Not "physically" be there but "emotionally and mentally" as I know hes tore up about this. My question is, should I just write this guy off and forget he ever existed or should I just give him space for now but every once in a while, remind him that I am still here for him in hopes of us being together again once his family situation is resolved? Cant wait to hear your thoughts...
daphne Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 You have to do what makes you happy, but this is not an easy situation for him. I'd try to put myself in his shoes, and understand that he's got a lot of pressure right now to figure out things. It seems he may not have handled it the best way, and will have to deal with cops/courts/drama. I would give it some time, give him some space, and at a certain point in the future make a decision to move on. That doesn't mean you have to write him off completely. It just means you wont' wait forever.
D-Lish Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 Just give him space to figure things out, that's all you can do unfortunately. In the meantime- keep looking, someone else just as wonderful might just come along.
Ruby Slippers Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 Just give him space to figure things out, that's all you can do unfortunately. In the meantime- keep looking, someone else just as wonderful might just come along. I agree 100%.
Wings1068 Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 I'll chime in as a guy here. From the sound of it you two had a good relationship going, so Im going to assume that everything he has said by your account is genuine. I've dealt with a simular situation and it does get tricky and difficult. His apparent closing you out looks to me like an attempt to prove something to himself (or even you) to show that he can handle things on his own. I know women like a guy that can be vulnerable but our own basic instincts make us try to hide it. And he has said that he still wants you to be around. My advice would be to hang in there for a bit, make contact with him once or twice a week to solidify that you are there for him... He may not show it but it will be appreciated. If after some time there is still no budge, it may be time to move along. because if a guy really wants to see you he will make a way for it to happen given enough time. Indeed. stay strong
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