WiselyNaive Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 First Off , I'm tired of asking about my relationships and the first response i get is "why do you care" , " you shouldn't want him anyway" , " just move on" , every relationship you get into has issues, i cant run from all of them . i also know that making excuses and hanging on to toxic relationships are just as bad...my question has to do with having a guy that treats you like a queen for a few months the acts like a jerk...we broke up because frankly i had no intentions on staying with a guy who didnt want me...so the break up didnt phase me...or atleast it appeared not to , i went on about my life and never contacted him again...we didnt talk for about 3 months , during summer because i knew we would be seeing each other alot i initiated first contact , surprisingly he was really happy , he cried and begged for me back....i can say this blew my head up a bit and this could have gone 2 ways..first off i really shouldn't get back with him because he didnt really deserve it , but clearly if i contacted him that shows that i did have feelings for him still..i was so confused...but i asked for time..i should have made my decision right then and there of whether i was going to take him back or not and work from there but i guess you can say i decided to play games..for about 2 weeks i started LIGHTLY dating a new guy but still tried to keep in contact with my ex...i did want my ex back but i was trying to test him....the thing is i didnt trust me ex anymore and i wasnt sure if he really wanted me back or was playing games...so i played games too....it kind of backfired because weeks later long after my ex realized i was seeing someone..i got really intoxicated at a party and went up to my ex who i hadnt spoken to for 2 weeks because of a small argument over the phone and spilled my heart out...told him that i was ready to get back together and that i was inlove with him *GIANT SCREETCHING SOUND PLAYS* he totally flips the scripts...is completely cold to me and rejects me BIG TIME....and since then has completely cut me off and wont answer any of my texts or calls and is seeing someone new...now this may be a result of a mixture of things...me being drunk could have completely turned him off , me playing games , me waiting to long , me being there with another guy . . . true , but this is exactly what i was afraid of...how does he all of a sudden have a happy relationship if he wasn't doing the EXACT same thing i was? ... my ex dishes out all this bad treatment and when i return the favor he hates me?....i cant tell if hes hurt...disgusted or if he never really loved me or wanted to fix it in the first place, im not sure if this is a reaction to what i did or if its what caused what i did...he's still ignoring me...see i'm not too sure with how guys deal with things...i didnt have sex with the new guy and in fact i kind of cut him off after that night because my ex rejecting me and ignoring me is just too much to deal with right now, how can you be inlove with me and weeks later tell me you dont even want to attempt to fix it....i was hurt because in his attempt to get me back he also told me about 2 girls he had slept with since the breakup....i wouldnt say i was being vengeful but i just hated his guts...i was trying to deal with it...but i'd never ignore him and reject him like that...i mean its clear he doesn't want me anymore...but my question is...i'm not really sure he ever did....is he hurt? or just showing that he never really cared in the first place....it feels as though the second i admitted my true feelings that never would have happened if it wasn't for alcohol, he was content and just moved along...Any advice here? HELP?!?!?!?!
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 I would say it's a combination of you playing games and waiting to long. My ex played mind games with me during the breakup and still pops in every now and again to try and start something. Even though I knew she was playing games with my mind I still would have taken her back about 2 months after the breakup. Now I wouldn't because I feel like I have given her more than sufficient time to come back and I see the mind games as childish, completely immature of her and definitely not an attractive quality. 9 times out of 10 fighting fire with fire results in a lose/lose outcome. On a side note I wouldn't take him back if he openly admitted to sleeping with two girls to you, that's just another mind game he is playing to see if you react and as I said before, it's completely immature and makes me wonder if people like this are mature enough to even have a relationship.
DoubleRainbow Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 I see the mind games as childish, completely immature of her and definitely not an attractive quality. 9 times out of 10 fighting fire with fire results in a lose/lose outcome. it's completely immature and makes me wonder if people like this are mature enough to even have a relationship. I completely agree with this...I also feel that clear communication is so essential for a healthy relationship, not games. such relationships will not have a good future if they started off like this...such relationships flourish only in the 2-hr long chick-flicks !
leoc1973 Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 here is my take on it. I am in the same situation as you but on the guys side. My ex broke up with me I was never a jerk. She kept giving me breadcrumbs for about 2 months. We ended up meeting up. She told me about a guy she was seeing. I was seeing someone too. she told me his name and for the hell of it I went back to see how long they have been friends on facebook. they were friends from about 8 months prior to the breakup. I don't know what hit me but something snapped in me. I went from begging her to not even caring if i ever saw her face again. I always put a lot of trust in a girl and once its broken its gone forever. I guess it just turned me from thinking about her as a princess to a whore. Total disgust. I am giving the new girl all my attention now. My ex is probably gonna try to come back but she is done in my eyes. I guess I look at her as ruined now. If she came crawling back I really don't know what I would do but the longer that goes on the more I get over her. Oh and the sleeping with 2 girls thing... He was single wasn't he can't he do whatever he wants. He is probably trying out the new girl knowing how you feel now. you have to play a little hard to get. good luck and next time don't play with guys hearts we hurt too!
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