DazyDaisy Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 I was so in love with this guy. Work got in the way, and at the time he was unemployed. He started talking and getting close to this other girl I didn't like while I was away. This was only when I was away because when I was around, his world would revolve around me. I was sure they weren't getting physical but their "emotional closeness" bothered me. It bothered me to the point that I would be a bitch to him every time he was around as a "punishment" in my mind. I was busy at work, school, and life and there he was, getting friendly with this girl. At work and school, I would go FB to see if they were talking, and sometimes I would see they were. They were silly things but the simple fact that they were talking bothered me. He had talked to other girls before so I am not sure, to this moment, why her presence bothered me. At the end, I figured this was just disrespectful and I felt like my chest was burning every time I thought of them together. Again, they were never physical but my jealousy escalated to the point of fantasizing of them together. We broke up, I told him I just needed "space". He seemed confused but accepting and after a very emotional demise, we went NC. I took his acceptance as an agreement that we needed to breakup, and automatically I thought, "It's because he wants to be with her". For months I "stalked" on FB, and when I saw their comments on each other's stuff, I would nearly die of jealousy. Their comments were nothing out of the ordinary (most definitely, no lovey dovey stuff) but they still bothered me. In my head, it was almost as if they were ****ing right in front of my eyes. Fast forward six months and I find out that they never had anything together. This is something I didn't ask but I came to find since no one knows about my jealous feelings. I also come to find that he says I broke his heart and that all of his friends hate me, and probably so does he. It turns out that all this jealousy was all in my head. To be honest, had it not been for all these jealous feelings, he was the one to treat me the best out of all the guys I had ever dated. I am now left knowing that I'm a jealous freak, a heartbreaker, and a complete wreck. How could this possibly gone so wrong?
Bito Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 Tell him what you wrote right here. Also next time communicate how you are feeling better. Tell him that them talking all the time botherd you. Acting on botteld up feelings is never a good thing.
Author DazyDaisy Posted July 25, 2011 Author Posted July 25, 2011 I know I did everything wrong but I was so busy with life and stressed out, that my feelings were too overwhelming to have there, and think rationally. I know there's no going back, we've gone NC for long at my request and I know I hurt him, it wouldn't be the same. I feel I'm gonna hate myself for this all my life. And do you think my jealousy was justified given the fact they would talk often?
TheHurtProcess Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 I agree. You definitely need to communicate your feelings. Before breaking up with this person, perhaps you should have sat down and had a talk with him instead. You may have been together this past six months if you had. I can't really say that you've been irrational. If you feel as if there's something going on behind your back or if he's getting a little too friendly with other girl, that is a good indication that he may just be doing what you believe he's doing )red flag) then it might just be a good idea to split for a while. I totally understand how you felt. However, you could have put your jealousy at bay if you had only opened your mouth and talked about your issues as often as possible. There's definitely a nice lesson to be learned here and that is... "Communication is key!" Now communicate how you feel with this guy and perhaps you can pick up where you left off... That is, if he still feels the same way and this who episode didn't totally destroy the trust he had in you. Good luck hun!
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