bikinibeach Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 Whatever happened to sticking by someone through thick and thin? I remember watching the last of the Mohicans when i was a girl the part where he says " i'll come back for you!" and yoy knew that he would and he did..melted my ten year old heart. That's what love will be like when i grow up, i thought. My ex claims to have changed. He hasn't, only his circumstances have. I miss him so much that ir hurts sometimes but i've given him far too many tries already. I just can't stop wishing he would change and we could be together . The idea of us never again being able to bask in the energy we created together is starting to finally seem real and it's heartbreaking sometimes i think it's really only just a matter if time so why not give that dead horse a kick or two now? Should i let him know i feel that way? Let him know there's a chance for us if he gives up the toxic girlfriends and gets some help? He doesn't deserve a second chance, i don't know that i could ever really trust him again and he especially doesn't deserve yet another chance to choose them over me we had something so special, but he's such a flippin ass clown!!..i don't know what to do!!! :'( Or, i do, but it's much harder than i thought...
wilsonx Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 Bikini... I will let you in on a little secret, I secretly wish that my ex would change. I have this laundry list of things I want to tell her to change. But them I come to the realization that, I can't affect change in her. She has to do this on her own. If you give him advice, its unsolicited advice because he did not ask for it. He probably would resent it and resent you more for telling it to him. You can use the list you have of things for him to change as red flags for future friendships/relationships though =)
countingstarsagain Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 IMO, I think you should stick to NC (you've been doing great!) and try to move on without him. It is up to him to come back to you since he's the one who left. If you keep making it so easy for him to come back, he will continue to take advantage of you and you'll just end up more hurt in the end. Also, any offerings on your part make you look desperate, and that is NOT attractive. Do this for you!
giuliano-3 Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 Whatever happened to sticking by someone through thick and thin? I remember watching the last of the Mohicans when i was a girl the part where he says " i'll come back for you!" and yoy knew that he would and he did..melted my ten year old heart. That's what love will be like when i grow up, i thought... LOL, that movie did a number on me as well. I thought those sisters were just about the absolute epitomy of what I wanted in a future wife. Sticking up for her man to her father, risking her very life in doing so - and the other actually jumping off a mountain to be with her love instead of being held captive. Between that and The Princess Bride (among others) I grew up with a pretty skewed notion of "true love." Reality is that no relationship is ever pure or perfect. They all take work. Some are willing to work at it, some aren't. The ones who are deserve each other. The ones who aren't can go F themselves.
Author bikinibeach Posted July 25, 2011 Author Posted July 25, 2011 Thanks for that wilsonx.one of the last emails he sent me said how he was changing his ways based on what id told him...then went on to say how WOW he hadn't seen his ex in OVER A WHOLE WEEK!! And how he went to the bar with his one good girl "friend" whi caused trouble in our relationship as well as his last one, and she tried to hit on him so hadn't talked to her in a while. Other things too, red flags in thw email he senr me (I posted it here). It's like he wants to change but diean't know what to do. The reality is that ive decided not to date involved with their ex in any capacity and he is dead set on his dearh grip on their supposed "best friendship". he only dropped that onw toxic girlfriend who i asked him to limit contact with, not because i had asked him to (she treated me badly fir no reason, i had asked and he refused) butbecayse his ex told him to. He doesn't hang out with his ex as much, not because he realized i was right and they needed some distance before trying relships with other people and hurting them again, no he did it because while she didnt respect our rlship pb give him space to be with me when she was dingle, she now has a boyfriend and is backing off from my ex like he should have done. I honestly do not think he has mych common sense, empathy or concern for anyone other than himself, his ex and the bitchy girls he strings around for attention . I hate him for choosing that over me and nit seeing what he was doing. I truly think he has some kind of brain development dysfunction. And to honest, there were things unrelated to other women that madw him dump worthy, on top of all of that. And so so many lies. I hope he is still suffering He invited me to watch him perform this weekend. I didnt reply of course and im not going, even though he said i inspired some of it. Guaranteed that thoughtless dickweed ALSO invited those girls too because doesn't he just love the attention. This sucks. But nc i shall remain. ps..u liked princess bride too great reply Oh never mind. Its just over
Author bikinibeach Posted July 25, 2011 Author Posted July 25, 2011 Lol 'dingle' ...stupid small phone screen keypad!!
onlyafool Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 The reality is that ive decided not to date involved with their ex in any capacity and he is dead set on his dearh grip on their supposed "best friendship". I agree with you 100%. I just don't understand the incessant need to keep them around, but many many people do. I'm not a jealous person, but seriously...why test me? You don't test love, or I should say, a person worth your love shouldn't.
amethyste Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 Stick to NC. I think that's the best thing you can do. I believe that most of us would like if our ex-es would come back one day & say how much they've changed and how they realized they've made a mistake... but these are just fantasies; you can't hold on to something like this. From what I've read about your ex I don't think he'll change; I believe that he doesn't even want to change... so you have to let it go. onlyafool - hah, I didn't know why I started singing when I read your signature; then I realized it's an Atmo song
onlyafool Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 onlyafool - hah, I didn't know why I started singing when I read your signature; then I realized it's an Atmo song The last line of that song is appropriate here...I think. I'm cutting your strings and keeping my smile
amethyste Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 The last line of that song is appropriate here...I think. Yes it is (or at least I think so too)
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