carhill Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 After d-day I divorced her despite her wish for reconciliation. She never went back to OM after the divorce. This aligns with my experiences. I can now chuckle about the day a couple years ago when I asked the aforementioned MW, now 'whatever', why she never contacted me after getting divorced. My address had not changed, my phone number was the same, I even had the same customers (how I met her). Answer: 'I thought you didn't want anything to do with me'. The real clue to these 'creative truths' would come later, as I watched, now with some detachment, how she attempted to use me as a tool with her now live-in boyfriend whom she had apparently miraculously began 'seeing' right after she and H 'separated' (BF was still M too) and was living with but he just wouldn't 'commit'. Epilogue is she got her commitment and her house but it took her ten years and using a few other men in the process. The irony: She had apparently 'separated' at almost the identical point in time when my now exW and I started dating. Hard to know which bullet I dodged, if any. Life is an interesting journey. As I still am occasionally approached by MW's, I can opine I'd never consider 'dating' them now, nor having an 'affair', though I may engage them at a superficial level, to see how far they'll go. I understand the unhealthiness of affairs only too well. A few good friends and a cat are far healthier IMO. Hope it works out.
carhill Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 I see some parallels. Interestingly, MW's IME were/are far more likely to proactively contact, and often, than 'regular' women. I historically thought this to be odd but perhaps your explanation has traction. I found this dynamic fascinating because, in nearly all cases, one day, like a light switch, for no obvious reason, they just go dead, meaning no contact. Boom. Anyway, fascinating insight into the psychology of the process. I always took it to mean my usefulness had ended. Seemed more palatable that way. Less 'broken'. The OP is still in the exciting infatuation phase, so I'm getting ahead of myself. Everything works out, one way or another.
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