Embee Posted April 26, 2004 Posted April 26, 2004 I broke up with someone in December who was commitment phobic. We met via Match.com. He new from my profile that I was marriage minded and after five wonderful months together, slammed it on me that he didn't know about a future together and that he had really strong feelings for me, but felt confused. He was the one that brought up the "commitment" question and I answered it by telling him that I couldn't be with someone who felt so ambivalent about our relationship. Now I feel totally gunshy about dating again. I want to weed out the sick and the weak, but I don't want to end up alienating a great guy by slamming it on him on the first date, that, "Hey, if you aren't looking for a wife, just run the hell away right now." My question is when you begin to date someone, when do you bring this stuff up? I know it must be situational, but I really want to protect myself this time around.
hART Posted April 26, 2004 Posted April 26, 2004 you should let people know what you want. Tell guys commitment is important to you, but be flexible. He probably got scared that he couldn't commit to you and if he told you he might be rejected. Most guys don't like to be tied down, but stay true to yourself. Since guys are afraid of commitment, take it slowly. Don't tell them you need to be married. Do a google search on why guys can't commit (if you haven't already). If you understand thier motivation, then you can figure out how to compromise with them. Good luck!
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