rafallus Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 They're okay making out with me, but dating? They're "not ready for a romantic relationship" or "have stuff to figure out".... Maybe you're, not sure, too clingy, or pressure them into relationship after initial interest?
JHS Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 I've been reading an advice book in which the author says as a woman, I need to "SEE" men... meaning, whenever I see a guy I'm interested in, I need to 1) smile 2) make eye contact (the 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi and look away) and 3) exude positive energy. She then says that once you've done the whole smile/eye contact thing, if you get a chance, you should approach him and use an ice breaker (like asking for the time or something.) She claims with these methods combined, guys will just flock to you. However, I'm doubtful. The author is a leggy blond... I imagine there aren't a lot of methods that WOULDN'T work for her. So question for you guys... what would you reaction be if an ugly/unattractive girl tried this with you? I've had a table of guys oink at me as I walked by, and I wasn't even looking at any of them. Would this method really be successful for someone who isn't good looking? If not, what method could an ugly girl possibly use? This obviously would work - and often even backfire if the woman was extremely attractive. But the smile/eye-contact thing is definitely something to incorporate into your game. I see women all the time and if I don't get eye contact, I will not bother them. But I also will not approach them if I am not attracted to them. You seem to be quite comfortable in who you are - it's a sin that someone would oink at you, horrible. But even if you're not the most attractive female it will still work. Maybe just do the eye contact thing first and see if that gets the guy to approach you. Don't make it too obvious. I have seen quite glaring and awkward examples of that.
JHS Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 Thanks for the compliments guys, but whether I'm really ugly or not based on objective opinion seems to be a moot point. For reasons I really can't pin down, guys treat me as if I am, so I assume I am. The oinking incident happened a few months ago in a sports bar. I've had two... TWO... guys dump me after 6 months for being "physically unattractive." That isn't my projection, they actually told me that. The guys in the pictures with me are friends of mine who have ZERO interest in dating me (also, that Batman is marrying that Robin, adorable couple, and that Joker is dating a Harley Quinn that's off camera.) The guys I DID meet (cause I am into nerds, I'm a big fan of anime, video games and such) were only interested in friends-with-benefits. I started this thread not to get compliments, which is why I didn't include a picture, but to say, if you ARE ugly, or perceived as ugly, what can you do? Maybe I'm not objectively ugly, but guys in real life almost always treat me as if I am. (Never flirt with me, never buy me drinks, flirt with other girls in front of me when I've clearly displayed interest.) So what is a good strategy in my case? I did not see your picture so I can't say (feel free to send). Assuming you're not ugly, maybe you haven't explored and developed your feminine wiles. Much can be said for them. I have a friend who was complaining that guys wouldn't ask her out - she was just being treated like one of the guys. I made a simple suggestion: Stop dressing like a tom-boy. She started wearing skirts and things changed - not necessarily dramatically but there was definitely improvement. http://www.ehow.com/how_4547809_use-feminine-wiles.html
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