mavlast Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 I have a little problem. I'm a charming, attractive, intelligent guy that a lot of girls would like. However, I have had a grand total of one girlfriend, ever. It's not like I absolutely must have a girlfriend or else!!, but it would be nice to have someone to be close to, make happy, spoil, cuddle with, maybe be intimate with ... you know. I've tried online dating, but frankly, I'm a little disillusioned with the whole concept. It seems like I always get stuck in text-conversation hell, and then the person is at some other university or something. It also seems to defeat the whole idea of dating, which is meeting someone and interacting with them, not just flirting by telegram. But as intelligent as I can be, say, discussing law, I'm an utter moron when it comes to romance. I can be a "sweet guy" and know how to treat a woman, but when it comes to dating in the real world, I'm a bit clueless. I'd like to take everything offline and just sit at a coffee bar or hookah place and meet a local woman that I can talk to everyday. I suppose I'm competent at approaching a girl and asking for a date, but after that things really get muddy. It seems like even fairly dim-brained people are experts at how relationships work compared to me. Do you have any advice for me? A few specific questions I have are: (1) How do you avoid getting insecure when your significant other is hanging out with someone of your sex, but still be able to draw lines when things clearly get inappropriate? (2) How can you gracefully push for more intimacy? I don't want the person to think that I'm a perv who's only in it to screw, and at the same time, "nice, innocent guy" territory is no fun. (3) Do you have any suggestions on how to date more people? I'd really like to expand my selection pool and choose someone that I'll really like. I'm a bit of an introvert. Thanks!
Author mavlast Posted July 25, 2011 Author Posted July 25, 2011 Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, lovely spaaaaam! Wonderful spaaaaam!
Casablanca Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 I've tried online dating, but frankly, I'm a little disillusioned with the whole concept. It seems like I always get stuck in text-conversation hell, and then the person is at some other university or something. It also seems to defeat the whole idea of dating, which is meeting someone and interacting with them, not just flirting by telegram. You do realize you can meet the person you meet online in person Just look at it as another option...after a couple emails, ask for the number, call her...if you two hit it off over the phone, ask her to meet up' On question 1...dont get jealous, and realize guys and girls can be just friends...and if you cant trust her to hang out with guys, then you're in a bad relationship if you cant trush on 2...just go with the flow...maybe test the waters a little...if you want to advance to second base...while kissing, making out...smooth touch her butt or breast...if you want to go past 2 base...I recommend discussing sexual boundaries, expectations, wants, etc and not trying for the 'one thing led to another' On 3, you can try online, are you old enough for bars?, are you in college? try for a college party, join a club, volunteer, ask you friends if they know anyone, back to the college thing, try to start talking with a classmate...use the class as an ice breaker
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