Coolcat276 Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 approaching 4 months NC after a 2 + year relationship. I am starting to have better days, not all bad now. I admit, I still hold on to what I refer to as false hope that she will contact me, Its not everyday like it use to be. I realize this could happen but I feel I would be much stronger in the decision process as opposed to taking her right back a few months ago if I was presented the opportunity. I still don't feel as I am ready to date but I realize I have to start moving forward. I remind myself how much fun it is to meet someone you really like, that is what I look forward to. Its been tough to throw myself back out there and be myself. I still wrestle with my feelings about how I feel about the relationship, I know I was definitely In love but I am not sure if I am more hurt about being the DUMPEE or Not being married/kids yet (Probably a combination , I am in my 30's). Physically, I lost probably about 20 pounds, I would like to say it has been because I have been working out, I must admit, some of it is probably due to the break up, I more attractive though. I also experienced what a true panic attack is, I didn't realize these can be spurred by a death of someone close or love loss....they aren't fun. Mentally, I decided to speak to a professional, I never thought this is something I would do, I always felt pretty grounded. Don't fight it, it helps to talk to someone. I am a big proponent of speaking to a professional, especially when you don't want to keep talking about this with friends. I am still fearful of the future, I do have the irrational thoughts "Will I ever meet someone again that I am attracted to, etc." Also, just a important reminder, NC means NC, that means, NO TEXT, NO EMAIL, NO PHONE CALL and most importantly, don't use Face B to see what there up to, this can set you back and I personally feel that is CONTACT, even if the other party doesn't know. I did exchange a bday wish, I don't recommend this. NC Means NC, its all about you healing. I feel its more important for the DUMPEE with the NC. I was just tired of being Tired, I am confident its getting better.
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