so gutted Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 OK - I met a guy on a site. We chatted on the chat function for over 2 hours. He brought up his future plans to get married and have kids. He asked me a whole host of questions about my life, my job, my height, weight, family, religion. When the conversation ended he gave his EMAIL address and said "you had better stay in contact". As he seemed very witty and I enjoyed the chat I emialed him the next day (in the afternoon) and said hi how are you. He emailed back 4/5 hours later with a few lines saying he was fine etc. I sent one email after that to which he replied breifly and said he had been thinking about me. That was on Tues, since then no contact. I find it really disturbing, confusingm insulting even that he has disappeared. I checked the site and he has nit logged in since our chat. Point is why did he waste my time? Out of weakness, I emailed him this afternoon asking where he had disappeared to. He has not replied. Why???? Why did he not even give me a chance enough to meet???
Fondue Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 He hasn't been on the site since you spoke, and he hasn't emailed you back. Chances are he is busy, not at the computer, away for the weekend, etc.
misssmartypants Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 I really think that dating sites create an unrealistic relationship dynamic. You look, you find on you like, you chat him up and all these feelings that used to be reserved for amazing date nights, you now have sitting in your scrubby house clothes on a lazy day. But its not the same. He could be busy and not have had a chance to get back to you. He could be married and cruising the dating site for an affair or amusement and have no intention of ever meeting you. You can't know anything about him from a chat conversation.
Author so gutted Posted July 24, 2011 Author Posted July 24, 2011 He hasn't been on the site since you spoke, and he hasn't emailed you back. Chances are he is busy, not at the computer, away for the weekend, etc. I am not sure I belive the busy thing. He should have made an effort. I find myself checking my emails 100 times a day in case he has contacted me and he has not which leaves a awful feeling of rejection.
carhill Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 What kind of a 'site' was this? I know it's easy to automatically assume 'dating site' but there are all kinds of sites out there. Some affairs start through gaming 'sites', for example. In any event, it's electrons. Everything is nebulous until flesh is pressed and, even then, it's only a beginning. Keep those expectations balanced. Good luck
misssmartypants Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 I am not sure I belive the busy thing. He should have made an effort. I find myself checking my emails 100 times a day in case he has contacted me and he has not which leaves a awful feeling of rejection. Find something else to do. Its hot, go to a pool with a book or a beach. Take a walk, cook a new recipe, trust me, sitting around waiting for someone to communicate is the worst waste of time there is. Heck, Angry birds would be better. Make your life too full and productive to worry about some idiot who isn't staying in touch. You'll feel better about yourself and will probably meet higher quality people than trolling online will get you.
Author so gutted Posted July 24, 2011 Author Posted July 24, 2011 What kind of a 'site' was this? I know it's easy to automatically assume 'dating site' but there are all kinds of sites out there. Some affairs start through gaming 'sites', for example. In any event, it's electrons. Everything is nebulous until flesh is pressed and, even then, it's only a beginning. Keep those expectations balanced. Good luck It was a dating site. I am miffed that he spent time chatting to me and then disappeared. I feel rejected. He saw my picture and said I would be trouble because I am pretty. He then chatted to me for 2 hours and created an expectation that we would be chatting again...
Author so gutted Posted July 25, 2011 Author Posted July 25, 2011 It was a dating site. I am miffed that he spent time chatting to me and then disappeared. I feel rejected. He saw my picture and said I would be trouble because I am pretty. He then chatted to me for 2 hours and created an expectation that we would be chatting again... Ok so he replied- from the Carribean. He did not mention he was going. Said there was a broken internet connection and that we can meet when he returns (a month later). Not sure what to make of this. A mOnth is too long and he did not tell me he was going. I think he withheld this because its all income related and he was keen to keep that private to avoid gold diggers. Arghhhh
green_tea Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 You're taking it all too seriously..I'm guessing you're fairly new at online dating. People on there disappear and flake all the time. Even after actual dates in person. As a previous poster said, just keep yourself too busy to worry about him. Trust me more guys will come along, especially since you're attractive. Don't pin all your hopes on one guy.
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 His story sounds really far fetched and off. I would forget about him.
zengirl Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 Happens all the time. You cannot take the early stages of OL dating that seriously.
Fondue Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 Ok so he replied- from the Carribean. He did not mention he was going. Said there was a broken internet connection and that we can meet when he returns (a month later). Not sure what to make of this. A mOnth is too long and he did not tell me he was going. I think he withheld this because its all income related and he was keen to keep that private to avoid gold diggers. Arghhhh He hasn't been on the site since you spoke, and he hasn't emailed you back. Chances are he is busy, not at the computer, away for the weekend, etc. Just wanted to show that I was completely right. You have to stop overreacting. Besides, why the hell should he tell you he is going on vacation. He's not "withhold information." He just met you. He wanted to talk to you about the essentials in the first 2 hours, and that's it. Additionally, you only had a two hour chat. YOu're taking this WAAAAAYYY too seriously. You shouldn't even be thinking about it. Go talk to some other dudes in the mean time. If you guys email back and forth throughout the month and maybe still interested after it, see him then. Till that, just talk to other men. I can't believe this fuss over a 2 hour conversation. Really.....
easyrider75 Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 My view is that an online relationship is not a real relationship until you have actually met. And since you have not met him, you really know nothing about who he is and where he is at as a person. Just relax and meet other people online - then maybe he will come back!
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