19 year old fun-loving girl: Having a hard time finding someone even after 35+dates

[temporaryvisa]

Thank you guys for your advice

 

I slept with one guy from online.

 

It was a horrible decision!

[temporaryvisa]

Actually I do both f those! I am in university studying business and I work at Scotiabank!

[Sabian]

I suggest you stop describing yourself as "fun loving". Everyone loves fun, that's kinda the whole point of it.

 

That's all I got...

[Nexus One]

When you say you're immature and insecure, what exactly do you mean with that, can you give examples? Insecurity is something most guys can overlook, unless it would cause damage to the relationship. Immaturity though is something that's a lot more difficult for (mature) guys to deal with, but again, it depends on how bad it really is, so I'd need examples to be able to get a feeling of what you mean.

[zengirl]

When you get to 35, it's no longer "I can't find a guy," it becomes: "there certainly is a problem with me." And yeah, there probably is a problem with her. It could be the insecure type personality, it could be that she comes of as very "me, me, me, me" type person, or it simply could be because she does not have any idea how to find a dude who is into her (or maybe even simply do not know how to date and generate genuine interest).

 

I don't think the problem is the men, I think the problem is herself.

 

Yes, though she could also have a problem where she's going out with unsuitable (for her, not necessarily in general) men. If I just went out with the first 35 guys who asked me, I might not find a true connection with any of them either.

[ThsAmericanLife]

I would disagree with what some of the posters here are saying...

 

It seems to me they are telling you to give up trying to find someone who wants to be in a relationship... to go out and just 'enjoy yourself'... whatever that means.

 

At all ages... but especially at your age, it is critical that you continue to seek companionship (friend or otherwise) from decent people who will not pollute or otherwise tarnish your positive experience of love. Sounds like you had a very positive experience with your last boyfriend. You have every right to hold these new men up to that standard.

 

When I was online, I COULD have gone on 10 dates a week if I wanted to. Not bragging. Just the way it was. I went on maybe 10 total over the course of a year, with 2 or 3 having any relationship potential at all. Well, no potential ultimately because they all turned out to have major issues... recovering 'something', bankruptcies, history of serious infidelity.... Unfortunately, I live in a small town (not far from you actually... Scotia is in Upstate NY, right?).

 

It is slim pickin's here honey because the economy sucks here. It sucks alot of places, but especially here. The best people, if they are single, don't stay here. I'm not. Part of the reason I'm not online anymore is so I can focus my energy on moving somewhere with better business and personal opportunities.

 

What am I getting to? Sure, you could settle. I'd recommend against it. This isn't all your fault. It is the pool you have to pick from. Yes, all you need is ONE. That is what I keep telling myself too. But I'm sure looking forward to being in an area with a nicer selection.

 

My advice? Again, join a volunteer group or check out the groups on Meetup.com. Join some clubs on campus. And, yes, focus on school and work. You are building your future life and protecting your heart from a**holes. If you still haven't found anyone by the time you graduate, or even if you do... get the hell out of Upstate NY.

[temporaryvisa]

Thank you guys for your responses! Omg seriously, thanks so much!

 

Btw I live in Toronto!

[Dust]

You’re only 19 just relax. When it comes to love you are your own worst enemy. I myself had never been on a date or even kissed a girl when I was your age. Just calm down keep trying for the fun of it, or stop all together if its just stressful and enjoy.

 

Would you consider letting an older man somedude81 come out and visit you? He lives in California if things worked out he could move you out there.

[Feelsgoodman]

Of course I feel lonely. None of these guys I meet actually like me-rather they might like me but they are weirded out

Weirded out? You think maybe they have a good reason to feel that way?

[Dorie]

Weirded out? You think maybe they have a good reason to feel that way?

 

An answer to this would be helpful, OP. It's an odd description. What feedback have you received? Or, what do you do exactly to "weird out" your dates?