U1987 Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 I plowed through over half the girls I picked out on POF last night; I expanded my list of eligible girls from 37 to 64 by including girls not only in and around my town, but the girls in the town my university and the towns I hang out in. I messaged 36 girls total last night and only have 2 responses so far; 1 from a 19 year old nursing student and another from a 20 year old hair dresser. The nursing student wrote "Hey, thanks! I really enjoyed your profile, and would definitely love to get to know you more!" The hair stylist wrote "Hey what's up? Nice profile I actually read it haha" I have a feeling the hair stylist is going to be a challenge though; she comes off as a little cocky though, talking about how she gets bombarded by messages on her profile. It's going to be difficult to stand about the rest of the guys. So how long should it be until I ask for the number and meetup? And for the 34 other girls who didn't respond, is there anyway to follow up?
oaks Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 So how long should it be until I ask for the number and meetup? And for the 34 other girls who didn't respond, is there anyway to follow up? There's no single right answer to the first question, but I usually go for asking for her number on about the 3rd email I send, but it depends on how the conversation is going. As for those who didn't respond - you still need to give it a couple of days even if you've seen them all online - but basically the best thing to do is forget about them if they don't reply.
oaks Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 Did you send them all the same message? 36 is a lot to get through in one sitting if you're writing something fresh every time.
manders_01 Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 I plowed through over half the girls I picked out on POF last night; I expanded my list of eligible girls from 37 to 64 by including girls not only in and around my town, but the girls in the town my university and the towns I hang out in. I messaged 36 girls total last night and only have 2 responses so far; 1 from a 19 year old nursing student and another from a 20 year old hair dresser. The nursing student wrote "Hey, thanks! I really enjoyed your profile, and would definitely love to get to know you more!" The hair stylist wrote "Hey what's up? Nice profile I actually read it haha" I have a feeling the hair stylist is going to be a challenge though; she comes off as a little cocky though, talking about how she gets bombarded by messages on her profile. It's going to be difficult to stand about the rest of the guys. So how long should it be until I ask for the number and meetup? And for the 34 other girls who didn't respond, is there anyway to follow up? Wait however long it takes to feel comfortable to ask them out. I like a handful of emails to be exchanged before I feel like I've gotten a flavor for this person and I'm interested in moving to the next step. Okay, I'm saying this nicely, chill. Yesterday was Saturday. It appears you may be emailing women of the age group that goes out on Saturday nights. Therefore, they could be away from their computers from as early as 3 in the afternoon yesterday to 3 in the afternoon today. Regardless, do not follow up. Although it's not super courteous, they are not required to write you back if they are not interested. If you follow up, you will more than likely not come across well and squash any chance you may have had if they hadn't already made up their minds.
Shaun-Dro Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 I plowed through over half the girls I picked out on POF last night; I expanded my list of eligible girls from 37 to 64 by including girls not only in and around my town, but the girls in the town my university and the towns I hang out in. I messaged 36 girls total last night and only have 2 responses so far; 1 from a 19 year old nursing student and another from a 20 year old hair dresser. The nursing student wrote "Hey, thanks! I really enjoyed your profile, and would definitely love to get to know you more!" The hair stylist wrote "Hey what's up? Nice profile I actually read it haha" I have a feeling the hair stylist is going to be a challenge though; she comes off as a little cocky though, talking about how she gets bombarded by messages on her profile. It's going to be difficult to stand about the rest of the guys. So how long should it be until I ask for the number and meetup? And for the 34 other girls who didn't respond, is there anyway to follow up? Pof has a lot of phony profiles, so beware of that. Don't worry about the women who failed to respond. They're nothing you need. Concentrate on getting to meet the responsive women ASAP so you don't start imagining that she might be "The One" during extensive conversations online, and the elimination process can begin.
Author U1987 Posted July 24, 2011 Author Posted July 24, 2011 Concentrate on getting to meet the responsive women ASAP so you don't start imagining that she might be "The One" during extensive conversations online Believe me, I have learned to get over that "The One" BS years ago.
Casablanca Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 If I initiate, so I send the first message they respond and ask a question or two I send the third total message they respond and ask a question or two on the third message I have sent, 5th message between the two, I liked to ask for their number....dont want to fall into a online friends only kind of thing
loveshymanc Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 Im surprised that you got any response from anybody on that website
Casablanca Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 Im surprised that you got any response from anybody on that website I met my last girlfriend on that site, but of the two free sites, it is the one I have gotten the least amount on...it also depends on your area as well and how many people are on the site
Author U1987 Posted July 24, 2011 Author Posted July 24, 2011 What are some better free sites? I heard that on OKC, you can't actively search out girls; you have to be "matched" by a "chemistry" function, but I'm worried that would severely restrict and narrow my pool. Besides, part of the fun of dating is meeting people who are different from you. I'm a pretty clean-cut conservative guy but one of my ex-GF's was a tattooed, pierced punk girl with purple and platinum hair.
manders_01 Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 What are some better free sites? I heard that on OKC, you can't actively search out girls; you have to be "matched" by a "chemistry" function, but I'm worried that would severely restrict and narrow my pool. Besides, part of the fun of dating is meeting people who are different from you. I'm a pretty clean-cut conservative guy but one of my ex-GF's was a tattooed, pierced punk girl with purple and platinum hair. That's not true, it's a user-search site. But it does give you percentages on your match, friend and enemy value with everyone. It's a good site.
Author U1987 Posted July 24, 2011 Author Posted July 24, 2011 i get lots a responses and lotsa sex. its ez What site did you use?
Casablanca Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 What site did you use? Ignore him, he is just a troll...probably the same one that got banned a week ago and tried to fool people into thinking he was going to be a mod
Author U1987 Posted July 25, 2011 Author Posted July 25, 2011 . Regardless, do not follow up. Although it's not super courteous, they are not required to write you back if they are not interested. If you follow up, you will more than likely not come across well and squash any chance you may have had if they hadn't already made up their minds. Think I might have another chance if I wait a couple of weeks and try again with a revamped profile and message? These girls must get a ton of messages all the time, and POF automatically deletes old messages after 3 weeks. Is that enough time for them to forget about me and try again?
dispatch3d Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 I'd probably go fast on the hairdresser, because if she is actually getting 100s of messages a day, then she'll have trouble picking out your message even if she likes you. That's my reasoning at least. I'd probably move it to any other medium.
Casablanca Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 Think I might have another chance if I wait a couple of weeks and try again with a revamped profile and message? These girls must get a ton of messages all the time, and POF automatically deletes old messages after 3 weeks. Is that enough time for them to forget about me and try again? If they said no the first time, what would make them change their mind the second time? Did your message get read?
Author U1987 Posted July 25, 2011 Author Posted July 25, 2011 If they said no the first time, what would make them change their mind the second time? A tweaked profile and different first message. Also, maybe they're being distracted by talking with another guy they like but it might fall through. Did your message get read? POF used to tell you if your message was read or not. Now you have to pay for that function, but it does say how long it has been since someone's been online. All these girls who didn't respond have all been online since I messaged them, so it's fair to assume they read it already.
manders_01 Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 Think I might have another chance if I wait a couple of weeks and try again with a revamped profile and message? These girls must get a ton of messages all the time, and POF automatically deletes old messages after 3 weeks. Is that enough time for them to forget about me and try again? Probably not. They've looked at your picture, they will probably recognize you. Even if your photos are all different, if there's one thing that is the same and they realize it, you've just moved from some guy to creepy guy and you will most definitely not get a message. You would, however, likely get blocked.
Author U1987 Posted July 25, 2011 Author Posted July 25, 2011 Probably not. They've looked at your picture, they will probably recognize you. Even if your photos are all different, if there's one thing that is the same and they realize it, you've just moved from some guy to creepy guy and you will most definitely not get a message. You would, however, likely get blocked. Even with all the messages they're getting? Because I marked 76 profiles to message just last night, but to be honest, I can only vaguely remember what a handful looked like. If you're not interested in a guy, are you going to take the time to take a good look at his picture and commit him to memory?
manders_01 Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 Even with all the messages they're getting? Because I marked 76 profiles to message just last night, but to be honest, I can only vaguely remember what a handful looked like. If you're not interested in a guy, are you going to take the time to take a good look at his picture and commit him to memory? You have no idea how many messages they're getting. Just because you sent a lot doesn't mean they're getting a lot. Even the most attractive girl on the site will have her messages peter out when she starts moving down the line. Some people can't remember faces so they might not recognize you. But I think the majority of people have average to good recognition skills and may find you familiar. I find I recognize the guys I'm not interested in more so that those that I am, it helps with avoidance.
D-Lish Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 Even with all the messages they're getting? Because I marked 76 profiles to message just last night, but to be honest, I can only vaguely remember what a handful looked like. If you're not interested in a guy, are you going to take the time to take a good look at his picture and commit him to memory? Yep= because you do get 2 or 3 attempts from some dudes. I always remember, even though I get a lot of messages (as all girls do). Just play the odds- send out messages to those that you're attracted to, and keep up with it, What else can you do?
Author U1987 Posted July 25, 2011 Author Posted July 25, 2011 Yep= because you do get 2 or 3 attempts from some dudes. I always remember, even though I get a lot of messages (as all girls do). Just play the odds- send out messages to those that you're attracted to, and keep up with it, What else can you do? I don't suppose it would be too much to ask to have my profile judged, would it?
D-Lish Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 I don't suppose it would be too much to ask to have my profile judged, would it? No= go for it. We'll be straight up with you.
oaks Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 What are some better free sites? I heard that on OKC, you can't actively search out girls; you have to be "matched" by a "chemistry" function, but I'm worried that would severely restrict and narrow my pool. You can search yourself on OKC, but some of the search criteria are only available if you pay... the most useful one of those being 'body type'. When you've messaged everyone you want to on PoF then try OKC. When you've messaged everyone you want to on OKC then you'll probably find that there are some new profiles on PoF for you to look at. Repeat.
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