pink24 Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 Ok, everyone so I was out socialising with friends last night, it was the first kinda serious nightout since I broke up with my ex. I have just kinda hung out with friends, went to the cinema, for dinner or lunch etc but last night we all got glammed up and went out. I had a great time...surprisingly as I was absolutely dreading it. So I met this guy, who I was extremely attracted to. He caught my eye as soon as I walked in the bar. I asked myself what the hell? Like its only been over 5 weeks since we split but, my ex seems to be over it so I decided just ENJOY YOUR NIGHT! Anyway, this guy approached me and offered to buy me a drink to which I accepted and I could not believe how well we got on. For just meeting someone, we instantly connected and laughed and chatted for hours. I honestly dont think there was one awkward moment during the conversation until... he kissed me! I was so shocked... Yeah I was shocked he had kissed me but I was more shocked at how I kissed him back. I kissed him back and it felt great! I thought to myself, oh my goodness - you have just met this guy a few hours previously and you have kissed him! He asked for my number so we exchanged. He text me like 20mins after I left saying how gorgeous I was, that my ex was crazy and that he had a great night, to text him when i was home safely. I did, I text him saying thanks for a great night, I told him I was home safely and that I hope he enjoyed golf tomorrow (he had told me earlier when we where chatting he was playing a tournament the following day). I woke up this morning and I had a message from him saying Good morning and that he hoped I enjoyed the rest of my night, also that he hoped our kiss kept me smiling. I replied I had a great time and I hope he did to and yes our kiss made me smile. I ended the text again with good luck at your tournament and hoped he would have a nice day! OH MY GOODNESS.. As I write this thread I have a text from him.. asking what I'm up to! What do you guys think??????
EasyHeart Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 I think you should text him what you are up to. Enjoy!
Author pink24 Posted July 24, 2011 Author Posted July 24, 2011 Spoke to soon... after him texting me back. He asked to meet up with me tonight to which I said yeah ok as I had no plans, he then hits out with a lame excuse 'I might have to take a rain check... I said I would go and see my gran and granpa.. but I can tell them somethings came up' I just said 'nah dont bother...its fine!' to which he replies: leave it with me.. i'll text you in an hour or so' and I replied: 'no need, if u have plans u have plans'. Strange???
zengirl Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 Yes, asking someone to do something then bailing the same day because you had plans is strange for any reason. Strange to me, at least. Unless it were something that could literally "come up" --- I have had to cancel a date on the same day exactly twice for unforeseen circumstances; one was a car hit my car on the way to the date and another was a huge work emergency. In both cases, I was proactive in setting up the date for another time and apologetic and such.
Author pink24 Posted July 24, 2011 Author Posted July 24, 2011 Yes, asking someone to do something then bailing the same day because you had plans is strange for any reason. Strange to me, at least. Unless it were something that could literally "come up" --- I have had to cancel a date on the same day exactly twice for unforeseen circumstances; one was a car hit my car on the way to the date and another was a huge work emergency. In both cases, I was proactive in setting up the date for another time and apologetic and such. Exactly what I thought zengirl... I'm sure befor easking someone out you would know weither or not you had plans right? So you think my responce was ok? What you think I should do? If anything?
Bito Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 Stuff can happen. Just wait for him to ask you again, because if he is interested he will
Author pink24 Posted July 24, 2011 Author Posted July 24, 2011 Stuff can happen. Just wait for him to ask you again, because if he is interested he will Yeah I know, things can come up. I just find it weird asking someone out then like 15 mins later he decided he has changed his mind. What would you do? Just leave it as it is?
Rinas Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 I am in a similar situation, left my ex of 5+ years not long ago. I started casually dating other's. At first I wasn't sure id know how, or that I'd be awkward. I've been having a blast. Sounds like you're doing the same! Just go with the flow, don't rush into things, and have some good judgement.
manders_01 Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 Yeah I know, things can come up. I just find it weird asking someone out then like 15 mins later he decided he has changed his mind. What would you do? Just leave it as it is? It is very possible that he actually forgot. I have done that before, I know others who have too. Maybe he walked by his calendar, or got a reminder on his phone. I'm jaded, no doubt about it, but I make myself give everyone a second chance.
Author pink24 Posted July 24, 2011 Author Posted July 24, 2011 I am in a similar situation, left my ex of 5+ years not long ago. I started casually dating other's. At first I wasn't sure id know how, or that I'd be awkward. I've been having a blast. Sounds like you're doing the same! Just go with the flow, don't rush into things, and have some good judgement. Hey Rinas thanks! What you think about the whole asking one minute...then deciding against it the next... strange? What would be your advice? Just leave it as it is?
manders_01 Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 Blast! Couldn't edit for whatever reason and wasn't finished posting. Anyways... Your response was fine. I'd wait for him to make the next move. Enjoy yourself and don't let it get you too twisted up.
Author pink24 Posted July 24, 2011 Author Posted July 24, 2011 It is very possible that he actually forgot. I have done that before, I know others who have too. Maybe he walked by his calendar, or got a reminder on his phone. I'm jaded, no doubt about it, but I make myself give everyone a second chance. Manders 01, Yeah I am kinda thinking that myself like maybe?... You cant help but assume the worst straight away dont you think? I just kinda assumed with the msg 'I mite need to take a rain check. Forgot I said I would go see my gran and granpa. But I can tell them somethings come up.' He might need to? Like you either do or you dont? What you gus think? You think I handled it well? Ps... I actually just sent him a text that was intended for a friend ... ahh I am so silly at times. It only said give me a call on my hose phone, bat is low and charger is in work. His name begins with a B and so does hers so that why I made the mistake as soon as it sent I said 'sorry ignore that - wasnt for you'. Honestly???
Author pink24 Posted July 24, 2011 Author Posted July 24, 2011 Blast! Couldn't edit for whatever reason and wasn't finished posting. Anyways... Your response was fine. I'd wait for him to make the next move. Enjoy yourself and don't let it get you too twisted up. No probs, yeah I kinda thought that to. Don't let it get complicated before it even starts. What you think about the above post from me?
zengirl Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 Exactly what I thought zengirl... I'm sure befor easking someone out you would know weither or not you had plans right? So you think my responce was ok? What you think I should do? If anything? Your response was fine. He could've spaced as others said, but that, to me, would make him incompatible. If being with a guy who spaces that easily is cool by you, that's one thing. Give him a second chance if he comes back with renewed plans and earns one. If like me, you would be driven crazy by that type of spacey. . . move on to the next guy.
manders_01 Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 Manders 01, Yeah I am kinda thinking that myself like maybe?... You cant help but assume the worst straight away dont you think? I just kinda assumed with the msg 'I mite need to take a rain check. Forgot I said I would go see my gran and granpa. But I can tell them somethings come up.' He might need to? Like you either do or you dont? What you gus think? You think I handled it well? Ps... I actually just sent him a text that was intended for a friend ... ahh I am so silly at times. It only said give me a call on my hose phone, bat is low and charger is in work. His name begins with a B and so does hers so that why I made the mistake as soon as it sent I said 'sorry ignore that - wasnt for you'. Honestly??? Yes, I always assume the worst too, i.e. he doesn't actually like me. But I am learning (see my thread from last night) to try to be open to the fact that maybe he does and there are other circumstances that I don't know about. As much fun as I am having dating, it's also been very hard to stay light about the whole thing. I do my best, you can too! I think "might" could possibly mean I have to think about whether the guilt I'm going to feel for cancelling on my grandparents will be outweighed by the joy I will feel with this new person I met that might or might not lead to something. I think it's a good sign that he's enough of a stand up guy that he wouldn't automatically sluff off his grandparents (or you) if something better came along.
Author pink24 Posted July 24, 2011 Author Posted July 24, 2011 Yes, I always assume the worst too, i.e. he doesn't actually like me. But I am learning (see my thread from last night) to try to be open to the fact that maybe he does and there are other circumstances that I don't know about. As much fun as I am having dating, it's also been very hard to stay light about the whole thing. I do my best, you can too! I think "might" could possibly mean I have to think about whether the guilt I'm going to feel for cancelling on my grandparents will be outweighed by the joy I will feel with this new person I met that might or might not lead to something. I think it's a good sign that he's enough of a stand up guy that he wouldn't automatically sluff off his grandparents (or you) if something better came along. Yeah thats a valid point. I didnt think to look at it that way. Its pretty decent if he doesnt wanna blow his granparents out. I think I am probably best to leave it as it is. I know he is going on holiday Tuesday, so maybe he doesnt wanna get to know someone or start getting to know someone, knowing he is going away in a few days. Just kinda knocked me knowing he seemed keen and then he kinda blew me off when I agreed to go out. But as you say it could be valid, I guess the ball is in his court now. I totally know what you mean also with the whole dating thing and trying to keep it light. It can totally knock your confidence though, ahh the joys eh?
Author pink24 Posted July 24, 2011 Author Posted July 24, 2011 Your response was fine. He could've spaced as others said, but that, to me, would make him incompatible. If being with a guy who spaces that easily is cool by you, that's one thing. Give him a second chance if he comes back with renewed plans and earns one. If like me, you would be driven crazy by that type of spacey. . . move on to the next guy. Yeah zengirl I think I would have probably spaced as you and others have said but I suppose everyone is different; you cant help but think the worst straight away! So you think, if he comes back then give him a second chance and if not well his loss and move on?? Its hard to not let it knock your confidence to. Being new to the dating scene it is hard knowing the whole what you 'should' and 'shouldnt' say....
Rinas Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 Hey Rinas thanks! What you think about the whole asking one minute...then deciding against it the next... strange? What would be your advice? Just leave it as it is? Well, id just leave it be, if he's interested and a decent guy he'll reschedule. If not, you dodged a bullet. Just go out and have fun, you don't have to see just him.
zengirl Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 Yeah zengirl I think I would have probably spaced as you and others have said but I suppose everyone is different; you cant help but think the worst straight away! So you think, if he comes back then give him a second chance and if not well his loss and move on?? Its hard to not let it knock your confidence to. Being new to the dating scene it is hard knowing the whole what you 'should' and 'shouldnt' say.... I wouldn't give him a second chance, personally. But I think it depends on your personality. I don't think it means he's a jerk or doesn't like you, necessarily (could but who knows?) but it would mean he and I would not be compatible as I could not deal with that kind of planning style.
Disillusioned Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 What do you guys think?????? Good for you. 25 dateless years here... but now, I don't care if I never date again.
manders_01 Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 Yeah thats a valid point. I didnt think to look at it that way. Its pretty decent if he doesnt wanna blow his granparents out. I think I am probably best to leave it as it is. I know he is going on holiday Tuesday, so maybe he doesnt wanna get to know someone or start getting to know someone, knowing he is going away in a few days. Just kinda knocked me knowing he seemed keen and then he kinda blew me off when I agreed to go out. But as you say it could be valid, I guess the ball is in his court now. I totally know what you mean also with the whole dating thing and trying to keep it light. It can totally knock your confidence though, ahh the joys eh? Absolutely! It always seems when I'm at my highest, I get taken down a peg or two. Definitely has me in the corner licking my wounds for a bit. But, my best friend dubbed this my "Summer of Dating" and reminds me of such every time I talk to her. Definitely is a great reminder to keep it light, to remember that I'm not compatible with everyone, nor they with me, that there might be guys out there having their "Summer of Dating" too, etc.
Rinas Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 Good for you. 25 dateless years here... but now, I don't care if I never date again. This sounds rather depressing, long as you're happy though!
manders_01 Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 This sounds rather depressing, long as you're happy though! I read that as they're married. I guess that could be depressing for some.
Author pink24 Posted July 24, 2011 Author Posted July 24, 2011 Absolutely! It always seems when I'm at my highest, I get taken down a peg or two. Definitely has me in the corner licking my wounds for a bit. But, my best friend dubbed this my "Summer of Dating" and reminds me of such every time I talk to her. Definitely is a great reminder to keep it light, to remember that I'm not compatible with everyone, nor they with me, that there might be guys out there having their "Summer of Dating" too, etc. Totally maders 01, as soon as you feel hey, I'm feeling good and BAM your brought down a peg or two. But I suppose, you just gotta pull your big girl pants up and move on 'Summer of dating' ... great! How is it going?
Author pink24 Posted July 24, 2011 Author Posted July 24, 2011 Well, id just leave it be, if he's interested and a decent guy he'll reschedule. If not, you dodged a bullet. Just go out and have fun, you don't have to see just him. Yeah well as I said, the ball is in his court now. So I guess the choice is his. But hey, there is plenty more fish in the sea... Yeah I definetly think its his call, if he contacts fair enough and if not, next? Ha wish I had the confidence to actually follow it through. But I defo gotta take some of my own advice.
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