lillypolo Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 he broke up with me over a year ago. He didnt love me anymore. I loved him, more than you could ever imagine. He was my first love, and I was his - I thought I was getting over it, that things were getting better, I got a new bf, i was happier in myself, things were ok. Then yesterday I found out he's starting to see someone else. It broke my heart all over again. He wont look at me or talk to me these days, but we have to see one another every day at uni. Now this is going to be right there in front of me too, and I cant bare it. I dont want to see it. What do I do?
redflag Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 this is gonna sound harsh to him but he sounds like the type who sees love in a selfish way, when he needs someone he feels it then when he doesnt he can just let go, see him as someone who wasted your time and energy and its his loss dont waste no more on him. i mean really do you really wanna love someone like that? i dont know you but im guessing a bit of this stems from the fact that its hurt your pride that you could be commited while he can walk away. try and understand that sometimes 2 people can be together and one can feel happy while the other can feel things are not working. this doesnt mean you wont make someone else happy and to give him the benefit of the doubt he may have been grieving the relationship before he left cos he wasnt happy and at least he did not cheat and was honest, but like i say i still think your better without him. was there warning signs that stuff wasnt working? love can make us blind to these.
Author lillypolo Posted July 24, 2011 Author Posted July 24, 2011 redflag: yes there were warning signs, he pulled away very suddenly. It was only me asking to meet up, he blew me off for his friends, avoided me a lot, ignored me on nights out, or didnt invite me out at all- only came over when he was very dunk/ ill needed support/ wanted sex. I cant believe this is how he treated me, as you wouldn't have expected it from him, hes shy and reserved, at first he was the perfect gentleman- and I suppose he was still ok even when it went wrong he never said anything nasty/ hit me, just ignored me and made me feel sad. I panicked and backed off too hoping it'd calm him down- I was afraid of smothering him. he broke up with me saying he didnt love me anymore, didnt make him laugh anymore (how could I when he didnt take the time to talk to me anymore?) i didnt fit in with his new friends- too seperate from them, and he just didnt want to try anymore, he was too busy, wanted to end it before it became too much of a commitment, dreaded asking me out to places, I said embarrassing things.... apparently sigh- and all I ever did was love him now we still have to see one another every day for the next 3 years at uni. so whats the verdict?
sbpm Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 Honestly? He sounds like a fairly insensitive person, concerned with only himself. This is probably not what you want to hear but here goes: You seem like a decent caring individual that deserves to be happy, not to have someone tear you down like that. Stick with as much no contact as possible, surround yourself with family/friends and eventually you will start to feel better. I would look at your new relationship, if it's healthy and not a rebound and you care about this person, invest your energy into that.
Author lillypolo Posted July 24, 2011 Author Posted July 24, 2011 Honestly? He sounds like a fairly insensitive person, concerned with only himself. This is probably not what you want to hear but here goes: You seem like a decent caring individual that deserves to be happy, not to have someone tear you down like that. Stick with as much no contact as possible, surround yourself with family/friends and eventually you will start to feel better. I would look at your new relationship, if it's healthy and not a rebound and you care about this person, invest your energy into that. Thankyou, I do care alot for the man I am with- I just am finding it hard seeing my first love everyday ... i hate that I still love him on some level. but a lot of people seem to think the former! I dont know if he's insensitive or just awkward - hoping the latter Good advice - I shall do that- and I am doing that right now I know this new guy is so so much better for me, its just hard letting go you know ....
redflag Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 he sounds like my ex, she pulled away. she was very insecure and no matter what i did i always 'let her down' she was a person with a bad grasp on reality who needed constant 'proof' of my love. whatever your exs reasons i think the bad feelings just puts too much water under the bridge to the point you feel you dont care no more. it did for me and i guess her too. the prob is when you love someone you do your best to ignore all this and just hope stuff will sort itself out. i think he shud av at least told you what was the problem before splitting but truefully some ppl cant be pleased so id just put it down to it didnt work. try and see him as just another person. you seem like a nice girl and deserved better than this but honestly even if he wud av took the trouble of trying to work stuff out i reckon youd av ended up sick of it too, constantly being told you dont do stuff right makes you think its not worth effort. good luck wi uni by the way
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