worldover98 Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 How do I comprehend that my wife's extra extra overweight is my problem and not hers so she says. I've always loved my wife's voluptuous figure, but in the later years of our ten year marriage, she has put more and more weight on with no intention of taking it off. And she is content with it and says it's my problem, not hers. Also too, our marriage has been sexless for over 5 years after our 2nd child, no more than 3 times a year. I've been trying to hold it together for the kids sake, but I don't want to be celibate and vegetate like this anymore, so I plan to move out. Even after some years of therapy, it's going nowhere with her. My patience have worn out... Come on folks, any constructive ideas?
RepairMinded Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 Yes tell her to go have an affair. She will join a gym and lose all the weight in order to attract another man.
stillafool Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 I agree with SadinTexas. Tell her you want to get rid of your problem and will be leaving her to be happy with her weight and sexless life. I guarantee you when she finds out you are serious she will lose weight. It sounds like her attitude is not going to change and you are doing the right thing by moving out.
johan Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 I've been trying to hold it together for the kids sake... Are you sure it's doing them good to see you set an example of a passionless, loveless relationship?
123321 Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 Feed her a lot of bacon and wait for the heart attack.
couplehundred Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 I am sure she will be very happy with her new boy friends, Ronald McDonald, Jack, and Col. Sanders. good luck to you. sucks that things went this way for ya...
Author worldover98 Posted July 25, 2011 Author Posted July 25, 2011 (edited) It's important to remember that no one responds to "veiled" threats and that is why I never treated it like "I'm leaving or else". On the other hand, as I stick to my intentions of moving out, perhaps it will make my wife see the reality of her reasoning. And then she may be motivated to "change", a word she has been so opposed to. My wife lost sight of our marriage as being a partnership of compatibility, working together, not being singular and individualistic. As for the financial stuff, I have always made more than twice her income. I will certainly miss the new home we bought and all, but I will continue to pay for it because I still love her and the kids, and she loves me too. People think just because a couple breaks up, it is suppose to then become antagonistic, vindictive, hurtful and hateful. This is far from that. Sometimes it's important to take a step back and see the bigger picture, the kids, and life in general. Hate is exhausting and dead end. As long as I have my health and can work and provide, and be happy in the process, those are the most important virtues for me. As far as dating, I will be looking forward to doing that again even though I have lost those flirtation skills a lot. Sure an older guy can pick up young women fairly rapidly, but I hope I can meet someone who's compatible in age and with a great sexual contact! As for her, this sounds kind of weird but it would turn me on if she became interested in dating someone. man or woman. It would prove to me that she still has some sensuality in her. But before I fantasize on all of this, I must see if wifey will change her game plan with a commitment to improve her well being and thus our lives together, as we approach the eleventh hour! Edited July 25, 2011 by worldover98 addition
Afishwithabike Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 You're attracted to what you're attracted to and it's reasonable to expect that one's spouse will try to maintain a normal weight for height barring any illness, disability, pregnancy or injury. I completely understand what you mean about not hating her. I have a very close friend who is going through a divorce right now. Weight is not their issue. It's something else, but they've been together for so long and they have a family together, that it's not easy to forget all the love, good memories and happy times. She doesn't hate him and he doesn't hate her. A divorce is a legal ending to a relationship, but the familial ties will and have to continue. I'm glad you're not going to be one of those older men who try to pick up much younger women.
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