shawn923 Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 (edited) Figured i start yet another NC log. Mostly for advice as a kind of diary to check my progress. I look back at some of my posts now and laugh, although im the typical dumpee who's made all the mistakes... Basically, im a guy ex in college, who got dumped by his ex who he loved very much, begged her back, get rejected time n time again, had to see her, on campus, date and kiss a different guy, etc... it was the worst couple months of my life. Anyways, they only lasted 2 months. she is now single, and has since "begged" me back to be with her. And when i agreed both times, (which i was in NC) she backed out... it seemed she just wanted to know i still wanted her, then she wanted nothing to do with me and was harsh in letting me know so... So here i am, a 22 year old attractive athletic guy, writing a NC log, currently day 7, i think. No texts, calls, seeing her, or facebook. Shes 20... and im SO dreading that we go to the same school. So i will be seeing her 2-3 times a week randomly, as we still have mutual friends and hang around the same lunchroom area. Trust me it sucks, im trying to NC and me knowing i have to see her this fall is kinda setting me back with NC... Idk. Maybe fate had a different path in mind for me which is why im still around her... But she treated me very badly and everybody i get advice from says to simply forget her and move on... Deep down, if she were to apologize for everything and beg me back, and promise a better future, i would still take her back... Idk if thats good or bad but thats how i feel right now. Ive been dating and looking, but still, i feel that "no one compares", even though i know thats not true. Well like i said before, this is mostly for me, but i really appreciate all the advice and experience anyone can give. Im currently day 7 for my 3rd go around at NC, and today i missed her, which is why i decided to start this. I hope i feel better soon, because im really dreading seeing her this fall. Edited July 24, 2011 by shawn923
PelicanPete Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 Stop worrying about what's going to happen in the fall. If you take one day at a time you're eventually not going to care about seeing her, but by thinking ahead at the point you are now and dreading seeing her again, you're only setting yourself up for failure. Enjoy and live in the end of July, otherwise when fall rolls along you'll realize that you've missed out.
DontWorryBHappy Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 Hey, I relate to you A LOT because we are in similar situations. I am also 22 years old, on roughly the same day of NC as you (I'm on day 6), my ex goes to my school and I sometimes run into him on campus, and my ex also had asked for me back once. It's hard, and I'm right there with you. I miss him terribly, but I swear to you, if she ever asks for you back you've got to say no even if you want her back. Because that is the only way to let someone know you're serious. Not sure what else to say... I have a log on here too. Just do not break NC. Do like I do: the next time you run into your ex just walk on by and act like you dont notice her. Then keep doing that for a while. Anyway I know how you feel.. Last week I was anxious about seeing my ex come around the corner or something, but I think I'm a little better off the more time passes. just dont break NC.
Author shawn923 Posted July 25, 2011 Author Posted July 25, 2011 Yea i like to pretend i dont even see her. But it was still the worst 3-4 months of my life. Every time i would be in there she'd make sure to have her new bf on hand. It drove me insane... And i know what kind of person she is, she hasnt matured one bit in a year. She'll be well prepared to do the same thing this semester. And i mean as much as anybody says "oh just ignore her and find a new girl" you cant tell what it feels like unless you've been there. If it doesnt depress me, it pisses me off to know some ape has their hands all over my ex whose only using these guys as bait... Even when i dont pay her no mind, its nearly impossible to not feel something when you physically see ur ex with somebody else. And she's always pretending to be having the time of her life. Man idk its just a VERY tough position that really no one will understand unless you've been there. Imagine if you're still in the grieving process with ur ex, and u still have feelings for her. Now what if u were forced to see her on a daily basis? Like wtf. It ruins all the NC im trying to do... This would be behavior of a ex who obviously still wants me, but everytime i ask her she insists she has no feelings for me whatsoever. To think she was my only serious gf in a 3 year span, and last one to date (no pun). I honestly thought she was the best thing that happened to me and she left in flash... That hurts more. I waited on love to come to me which is what i thought was right. And she came. I thought she was everything i wanted. And she was the first girl i ever felt so strongly for and we still didnt even work out... Like wtf! Its hard to love again. I mean what am i suppose to think the "next" time someone walks into my life, and promises me the same things and has my heart feeling the same way? And since i (originally) thought she was a gold mine, who's to say im gonna meet ANOTHER gold mind? She was close to perfect as far as being a gf to me, and it turned out to be one big deceiving game she put me thru, and turned into the worst emotional pain i've ever felt... I waited so long for love and got THAT??? Maybe its a good thing we didnt work out. Fate might have saved me from falling for her anymore before i found out her true colors. She turned out to be poisonous and cancer... Which is why it will kill me to even be in her presence this fall! I wanna get away and out of this fawking head game and move on and it seems theres always something stopping me. So yea... thats pretty much where my mind is at right now. Day (idk like 10) NC
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