Desensitized Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 Hey guys, I've been recently seeing this girl who I have known for a while, and today, I told her I didn't like her... not even as a friend. Long story short, this girl has been feeding me breadcrumbs the whole week after she told me that she loved me on Saturday; we're not dating. This girl and I have a history of being more than friends, but recently, i've been doing a lot of thinking and I've realized that I don't even like her. Heck, I don't even want to be her friend; I have known her for almost 2 years now. At first, I was pissed because she was feeding me breadcrumbs, but then a revelation happened, and I realized I didn't like her. Was I too harsh? I'd like to not think so, but I really do not want anything to do with her. This girl is also a sociopath (most likely) and a pathological liar, so I told her I don't want her in my life and she asked me if she did anything wrong, which I said that I just didn't want her in my life because I don't need people like that in my life anyway. So, she hasn't responded to my last message of me telling her that I don't like her - at all. Not that I want to take back what I said, but was I too harsh? I don't feel like I was, but this is what I want. I don't need a person like her in my life.
WeatherMe Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 You prolly hurt her feelings, but if you get what you want out of it - her absence - then good. Direct is usually better IMO. Just don't talk to her ever again. That would be cruel, so I hope that's what you really wanted.
Author Desensitized Posted July 24, 2011 Author Posted July 24, 2011 You prolly hurt her feelings, but if you get what you want out of it - her absence - then good. Direct is usually better IMO. Just don't talk to her ever again. That would be cruel, so I hope that's what you really wanted. Well, I've thought long and hard about this, and I even made two separate note cards. One notecard contains reasons why I do like her; the other contains reasons why I don't. The one that had reasons why I like her had 3 reasons, and even those reasons were trivial reasons. For example, one of the reasons was that she works at a zoo... like honestly? The other notecard was filled with reasons of why I don't like her. So I thought, what the heck, what's the point of having a friend I don't even like? Her and I used to be so close at one point, and we even dated, but I just don't feel the need for her presence at any stage of my life. She's the complete opposite of me (mostly everything I hate) so why do I need a person like that in my life? Whenever I do talk to her, I always get brought down... there's no reason to keep her around.
Cracker Jack Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 Might've been a bit harsh, but it happens sometimes. Btw, what "breadcrumbs" was she feeding you?
WeatherMe Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 Well then you did yourself AND her a favor the way I see it. It's no fun having a part-time friend. Or I guess a "Frenemy". You could have kept things going and pretended to be interested, the end outcome would probably be the same anyway. I wouldn't feel too guilty if I were you. Honesty is the best policy. Being told you're not liked doesn't feel good but she'll be fine. You didn't rake her to the dirt or anything
Author Desensitized Posted July 24, 2011 Author Posted July 24, 2011 Might've been a bit harsh, but it happens sometimes. Btw, what "breadcrumbs" was she feeding you? Well, I was starting to like this girl again after she fed me her "I've been thinking about you a lot lately" & "no other guy will ever understand me like you do." After she sent those, I felt something for her again. We ended up hanging out the whole last two weeks. But this week, she didn't talk to me at all after telling me she loved me last Saturday - which I found was really weird... so, I contacted her calling her out on her behavior today. She said she was swimming all day and that is why she didnt text me back (still didn't answer why she was ignoring me the whole week). So, I straight up told her that I want nothing to do with shallow women that do this; that she's a sociopath; that I want nothing to do with her. She then asked me what she did to mess things up. I told her that she's just a person I don't want in my life. She said, "why? this is coming out of nowhere." I told her that I simply don't like her. No reply from her since.
carhill Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 she fed me her "I've been thinking about you a lot lately" & "no other guy will ever understand me like you do."Those are hoover lines. My compliments for dealing with it swiftly and clearly. Onward. Emotional vampires, especially the female version, can always easily find another 'suckee'. No worries.
Cracker Jack Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 Well, I was starting to like this girl again after she fed me her "I've been thinking about you a lot lately" & "no other guy will ever understand me like you do." After she sent those, I felt something for her again. We ended up hanging out the whole last two weeks. But this week, she didn't talk to me at all after telling me she loved me last Saturday - which I found was really weird... so, I contacted her calling her out on her behavior today. She said she was swimming all day and that is why she didnt text me back (still didn't answer why she was ignoring me the whole week). So, I straight up told her that I want nothing to do with shallow women that do this; that she's a sociopath; that I want nothing to do with her. She then asked me what she did to mess things up. I told her that she's just a person I don't want in my life. She said, "why? this is coming out of nowhere." I told her that I simply don't like her. No reply from her since. Thanks for replying. Based on that, she does seem inconsistent--and loves to say certain things knowing they'll likely generate some feelings within you--only to ignore you afterwards. I don't really think you were too harsh, tho. You're better off now, anyway. Sorta been in a situation similar to this myself, and it's aggravating.
Author Desensitized Posted July 24, 2011 Author Posted July 24, 2011 Thanks for replying. Based on that, she does seem inconsistent--and loves to say certain things knowing they'll likely generate some feelings within you--only to ignore you afterwards. I don't really think you were too harsh, tho. You're better off now, anyway. Sorta been in a situation similar to this myself, and it's aggravating. She loves playing with men, and it disgusts me. She views every notch under her belt as a trophy - what a lady, huh? And yes, it's very annoying what she does... last Saturday, she texted me a picture of something I said a REALLY long time ago that said, "you're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be" (don't laugh) and I responded saying some sweet to her - to which she didn't say anything back hahaha. I used to take the time to send really long, nice texts to her saying good things, and she would reply with stupid and short responses. Anyways, It's funny, because she could be lying to me to my face and I wouldn't even be able to tell it's a lie. What's funny is that I prayed to God today seeking a peace of mind, and this is what happened. Best decision I've made in years...
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 Eh, it sounds like you have strong feelings for her which she doesn't reciprocate. She sounds like she has been leading you on so you thought you will hurt her back with "I don't like you.". You were deliberately harsh, hoping for some kind of reaction, but when she didn't respond - it backfired on you. Please, just have some dignity and don't contact her again. If you do, you will come across as weak and doormaty :sick:
Author Desensitized Posted July 24, 2011 Author Posted July 24, 2011 Eh, it sounds like you have strong feelings for her which she doesn't reciprocate. She sounds like she has been leading you on so you thought you will hurt her back with "I don't like you.". You were deliberately harsh, hoping for some kind of reaction, but when she didn't respond - it backfired on you. Please, just have some dignity and don't contact her again. If you do, you will come across as weak and doormaty :sick: Nope. I don't have strong feelings for her at all. I used to at one point, when I was blinded by stupidity, but not anymore. And, for the record, I don't like her, not even as a friend. When she asked me if we could start dating last week, I told her that I couldn't, and she got upset. I was deliberately harsh because I was sick of her mind games; I don't want anything to do with her. Period. I'm not weak. Maybe a fool at times, but not weak.
rafallus Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 So no problem here. If these were mind games, she'll get over you in a flash.
sally4sara Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 I see nothing wrong with you ending an association that isn't meshing well with your relationship ideal. Couple of things stood out to me though. All the I did this and she didn't do it back/didn't do as much or quick enough..... This could be you shooting yourself in the foot in the future; ruining something that could be good. You want to date another person not yourself yes? And good relationships are not a tit for tat situation. Do what makes you feel good for doing even if you don't get exactly the same back. don't do it just to have it mirrored back. You say she is shallow? Here I'm talking about you being narrow and trying to homogenize the people you wish to have a romantic relationship with. I read the run down you shared and it seems most of what you did was not genuine but just a test or a game to see (and judge) what she does back. Thats very manipulative and sneaky. Instead of saying "hey, when I do this and you dont' respond quickly it makes me feel (whatever)" you just react without discussion and it makes you seem irrational. If something is such a big deal that you would decide you dislike someone and not even want to be their friend then it should be enough to speak your mind about. Don't expect the people you deal with to read your mind. You set them up to fail and then conveniently take no responsibility for the outcome.
SteelWall Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 My advice RUN!...do not play into the games anymore....go completely no contact. She is definitely the type who is completely disillusioned and incapable of holding a rational relationship. She needs attention, 'good and bad,' on a consistent basis to feel a superficial whole...that is her being and she will suck all she can out of you. Have you ever sat there and experienced a woman who gets a little attention.....and that leads to a day of them being obnoxious and seeking more and more to validate their self worth and fill a deep hole of low self esteem. Yuck. Attention I receive normally goes through one ear out the other. It's substance, genuine interpersonal contact that makes me feel good. Stay away from attention whores. Point blank....do not feed them....and watch them wilter away.
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