Wesker Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 If you check my previous threads/posts, you'll get a good idea of my back story. A lot of the posters here have said that most dumpers quit on a relationship weeks to even months before the final blow. While walking today, I've come to realize there were some red flags happening going all the way back to December. Years past, she would always be excited when it came to Xmas shopping for me. Asking me for a few ideas, but usually found things on her own This year, she made almost no effort in that. I practically picked out everything she got me. My birthday a few months later was just as bad. She even sounded angry when asking me what I would like. Hell, I even had to pick out my own cake for her to make. That never happened before. Coming to this realization doesn't exactly make me feel any better though. I have to ask dumpers like this one thing. How can you live with yourself just stringing someone along like that, for that long, then ripping their heart out when they least expect it? Is there no guilt or conscience whatsoever? What really hurts is all the wonderful things I did for my ex during that time, pouring my heart and effort out for her. Hell, I even made her a surprise Easter Basket this past April because she mentioned how she use to miss getting something on that day. I still have that vision planted in my brain of her running into my bed, and in my arms telling me "I'll love you forever" and "You are such a keeper". Sorry if I started ranting..
wilsonx Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 If you check my previous threads/posts, you'll get a good idea of my back story. A lot of the posters here have said that most dumpers quit on a relationship weeks to even months before the final blow. While walking today, I've come to realize there were some red flags happening going all the way back to December. Years past, she would always be excited when it came to Xmas shopping for me. Asking me for a few ideas, but usually found things on her own This year, she made almost no effort in that. I practically picked out everything she got me. My birthday a few months later was just as bad. She even sounded angry when asking me what I would like. Hell, I even had to pick out my own cake for her to make. That never happened before. Coming to this realization doesn't exactly make me feel any better though. I have to ask dumpers like this one thing. How can you live with yourself just stringing someone along like that, for that long, then ripping their heart out when they least expect it? Is there no guilt or conscience whatsoever? What really hurts is all the wonderful things I did for my ex during that time, pouring my heart and effort out for her. Hell, I even made her a surprise Easter Basket this past April because she mentioned how she use to miss getting something on that day. I still have that vision planted in my brain of her running into my bed, and in my arms telling me "I'll love you forever" and "You are such a keeper". Sorry if I started ranting.. Wesker, what you actually saw is a good life lesson to learn about relationships. Ive posted here several times that if you see your ex come in, pull him/her in. If you see them going away, let them go. You saw your ex becoming more and more distant, when you see this in future relationships, you need to start letting go too. If you choose, you can talk to them and if they do not know whats going on, then end it and walk away
reimeivn Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 i never understand this neither. my ex yelled at me the same day he broke up with me for asking him for a breakup. after i found out that he has been telling people behind my back about him wanting to do it, he just broke up with me and walked out. but one thing for sure though is that you should look down on them, because that what they are. the lowest of the lows.
lovesickmonkey Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 This is something that happened to me too. AFTER the fact, you realize that they had dumped you weeks or months before. They didn't have the nerve to do it or they were waiting for a more convenient time, or they were arranging a new apartment, etc. This is the first time in my life I can honestly say I was in DENIAL. Clinical denial. You get hints (like the Christmas shopping noted above) but the hints are of something too painful to confront so you deny them. I did this and it seems so out of character for me. I didn't ask, "what's wrong," out of fear of the answer. Then she started saying,"I love you," in a very strange way, as if to say, "I love you, despite the pain I'm about to give you, without warning and with no discussion." My mind would not accept what was about to happen. WilsonX is right. If they pull away, better get ready to do the same yourself.
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