Blackened Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 So, last night I hung out with the guy I posted this thread about: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t288420/ We had such a good night together. We sat and talked and listened to music... The conversation never went silent or turned awkward at all. He told me that he likes being able to just sit and hang out with someone. We were on the couch kind of cuddling when he said this,. He told me he really likes being around me and he doesn't have this with too many people. Then he added that sex is great but he could sleep with anyone, he can't talk to anyone. So we are on his couch talking and there was a lot of affection happening, but not really sexual stuff. He was holding my hand at one point. He had his head on my chest at one point... And I was returning it. This wasn't one sided. Then when I was getting up and getting ready to leave (at 6am) we kissed... and kept kissing for an hour. He said he wanted to get in bed and just cuddle up with me. He told me he didn't want me to go... etc. And I REALLY didn't want to. I didn't. I was ready to jump right in his bed with him. One thing stopped me. I knew we would have had sex if I would have laid down with him, even though he said he wanted to cuddle. We were making out pretty hot and heavy right after he said that. I know the two of us in bed together would have lead to more. and... we didn't have any protection. I told him that was the only reason I was leaving. He swore to God he doesn't have any diseases. And he probably doesn't. But how could I be sure. He hasn't had that colorful of a passed. He said the last time he had sex was when we hooked up back in February. And I believe him. And, he is sterile. So pregnancy isn't anything to worry about either. So now I feel awful... I feel like I blew the chance to get closer to him. I feel like I offended him... etc. Him and I were supposed to get together tonight too. (He suggested this before all the making out happened.) Before I left I asked him to text me later about what's going on tonight. He hasn't yet. I'm wondering if he's going to ditch me tonight now. I really hope I didn't upset him. I hope I didn't blow it. What do you all think?
Author Blackened Posted July 23, 2011 Author Posted July 23, 2011 I texted him about a half hour ago... I said "Hey, hope you aren't pissed that I left thats morning, lol." He hasn't answered. I do know though, that he isn't much of a texter. I have texted him before and gotten no response. But the one time before was just kind of a joking text. Still though... we were supposed to do something tonight and now I feel like he doesn't even want to see me. Now I'm just sitting here wanting to cry.
SteelWall Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 I texted him about a half hour ago... I said "Hey, hope you aren't pissed that I left thats morning, lol." He hasn't answered. I do know though, that he isn't much of a texter. I have texted him before and gotten no response. But the one time before was just kind of a joking text. Still though... we were supposed to do something tonight and now I feel like he doesn't even want to see me. Now I'm just sitting here wanting to cry. He feels rejected...his manhood...obviously. Just call him and leave a sweet sexy message to seal the deal if you want more. And if you are about to cry...that shows you have vested interest in more than just FWBs...make sure he is on the same page and isnt looking for just action.
zengirl Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 I texted him about a half hour ago... I said "Hey, hope you aren't pissed that I left thats morning, lol." He hasn't answered. I do know though, that he isn't much of a texter. I have texted him before and gotten no response. But the one time before was just kind of a joking text. Still though... we were supposed to do something tonight and now I feel like he doesn't even want to see me. Now I'm just sitting here wanting to cry. If he doesn't call you over this, then you found out something that's good to know before sleeping with him: he's more about sex with you than he is about you. And if he does call, then you're fine. Either way, you're better off having done what you did, and next time, I'd say: don't feel the need to explain yourself either. (Though wait, you already had sex last Feb? I'm so confused. Anyway, if he wants more than sex, he will call regardless. If he doesn't, at least you know.)
Author Blackened Posted July 23, 2011 Author Posted July 23, 2011 If he doesn't call you over this, then you found out something that's good to know before sleeping with him: he's more about sex with you than he is about you. And if he does call, then you're fine. Either way, you're better off having done what you did, and next time, I'd say: don't feel the need to explain yourself either. (Though wait, you already had sex last Feb? I'm so confused. Anyway, if he wants more than sex, he will call regardless. If he doesn't, at least you know.) Yes, him and I had sex last February. This would not have been our first time. But when we hooked up last time the situation was a little different. We were drunk, for one. And he had protection then. Biggest difference though, at least for me, I didn't feel anything for him then. He was there, he was cute, and I was horny. Now I've spent a lot of time talking to him since then and I've really gotten to know him. So the dynamic is different.
illumine Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 Do not feel bad or guilty about walking away from sex because of lack of protection. You showed a lot of respect for yourself doing that. If he can't understand that no protection at this stage in your relationship (as in pre-exclusivity talk and pre-STD screening) is a deal-breaker for getting it on then that is a huge red flag. Maybe he's just feeling a little rejected (a bit of an immature reaction, but these things happen). Hopefully he really knows you made the right choice. But if he is really punishing you by not responding or suggests unprotected sex again then you might want to reconsider spending time with this guy.
oaks Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 He hasn't answered. Maybe he's sleeping after you kept him awake all night. Don't worry about it. Anyone who bails on you because you won't get in to bed with them (whether it's for a cuddle or for sex) wasn't really such a great "opportunity" to begin with.
Author Blackened Posted July 24, 2011 Author Posted July 24, 2011 Last night I ran into his roommate while I was out. The roommate told me he was asleep all day and still asleep when they left. Idk... maybe he just didn't wake up till really late or something. I'm sure there's an explanation. I've known him a long time, he's never seemed like the type to just flake on someone.
Author Blackened Posted July 24, 2011 Author Posted July 24, 2011 So... there's a possible new development here. My friend just called me and said "Hey, didn't you get my texts?" I had no idea what she was talking about. She said she sent me three texts asking if I wanted to get together later today. I didn't get them. I even told her to send another one just to see if I got it. I didn't. So... obviously my phone isn't recieving some text messages right now. I know it's not all texts because someone texted me last night at midnight or so. So... now I'm wondering if he is sitting at home thinking I ditched him. Maybe he responded to my texts and I never got the messages.
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 Truly, if he is going to ignore you because you did not sleep with him - lack of a condom was a very valid excuse, buy no excuse was needed. You two are NOT a couple. Anyway, if he does this, he is NOT as great as you think he is, and you need to not take responsibility for it. It's not because you hurt him, or whatever. It's because ... he didn't get what he wanted exactly when he wanted it from you. It's on him. It's up to him to contact you now. If he does not, he is someone you probably shouldn't be getting emotionally or physically wrapped up with. Since you seem to really like him, I do hope this is not the case.
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