lalalandman Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 I was with my ex gf for 5 years. She dumped me back in May, and I told her she was making a huge mistake. Anyways, she called after 2 weeks of NC, tried for reconciliation, but then the drama resurfaced. Anyways, soon after, another ex got in touch with me, but that just ended up causing way more drama. Anyways, finally I said to myself, screw this bs. She's waltzed out of my life on too many occasions in these 5 years. She's had plenty of her "fooling around" time. If she can't stick to it now, then she won't ever. I had a good feeling she was going with someone else, but no proof. So I changed my phone number, deleted my FB, deleted and changed my email. I even took all the crap she had ever given me (notes, pics, paintings, souvenirs, memorabilia, I even put some more expensive things on the side of the road with a FREE sign) and got rid of it all, less one thing. As soon as I closed the door, a number of other doors have been opening, left and right. I'm not kidding. Once you make the decision to let go completely, without any hopes of reconciliation, your life will change. Right now, I'm thinking about another girl I went on a date with; a date so good, it ended up going into the next day. It was amazing. I'm not bummed over my ex gf anymore. There's a girl who wants to see me today, and another tonite. I've literally moved from the "Breaks and Breaking Up" section to the "Dating" section. I realized that for 5 years, I was locked into a controlled environment. I was so in love with her, that she took advantage of every moment of it, because she's a bitch. She even admitted to being one, so I'm not making any false accusations here. Now I realize, holy crap, I'm a freaking catch! Anyways, I really think there are fast ways to moving on. If you need to move on, do it fast, do it quick. Have some dignity and self respect. Free yourself out in the wild. As much as possible. Cut off contact in every way shape and form.
fetish1980 Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 Oh wow lalalandman good story. It was about a month and 1/2 ago, you were still confused over your ex and now you're back in the dating game. Cool n congrats. You got over your ex alot faster than i did mine. I still miss her at times even though i know she and i could never be. Her control issues are something that i will never miss along with the endless drama. I've been posting in the dating section too. Probably see you there, fetish
stray Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 I'm really happy to hear you're moving on from the ex, meeting new people, and feeling excited. That's excellent. However, just make sure you're not rebounding. Rebounding tends to throw us into euphoric halfrealities, where we go "omg my ex sucked and this new fill-in-the-blank person is so much better. I'm so over my ex". Ok, maybe they are better, that's awesome. But now you're attatched and emotionally dependent on this new person, whom you don't even really know. The whole point in not dating after a break up is basically so you can learn to deal with being alone. And also, so you can learn to decipher between a good catch when you see one, and not someone who just "appears" to be a good catch. There's a lot more to life than dating. Just sayin'.
stray Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 A good example of this is my gf whom I'm going to get lunch with right now. She recently filed for divorce from her husband because he picked his head, among other really, really petty "problems". Since moving out of her place with him, she has slept with, no joke, like 7 guys (in 4 months). And every single one of them was the new "one". She said the same thing about them all, "he's totally different than 'ex-husband name', I feel such a connection". She hasn't taken any time to be alone and figure out what's going on with her. It's like watching a train wreck. Anyway, just be careful, and remember life is short and girls aren't everything. Learn about yourself more; it'll make everything else in life easier.
wilsonx Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 i agree with stray here. I look at almost every attractive girl and say wow that girl is the one. Im going to date her. While girls in the bar, Im just looking to have fun with, no intentions on dating them. I know that if i start dating right now, its just a rebound. I figure Ill just hang out for a while and just have fun being me
Author lalalandman Posted July 23, 2011 Author Posted July 23, 2011 Yea don't get me wrong. Out of the 6-7 dates I've been on, there's only 1 that I actually really liked. We really hit it off. She stayed the night. We also have very similar situations with our exes. The only difference is that I have gotten past my ex completely. She hasn't. She said she was, but then he showed up at her place the next day when I dropped her off (awkward). The next week really sucked, because I know she really felt sparks for me. She backed off, and I respect that. It just sucks because we actually really complimented each other. I was willing to put that ex crap aside, because he was just looney and pathetic. But she couldn't. Too bad
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