Nohbody Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 I've been tempted to contact or check the blogs of the girl I was involved with. On the surface I want to tell myself it's harmless... but somehow I'm doubtful of my motives. Hit me with the harsh reality. Help me crush this ridiculous hope, pull no punches.
countingstarsagain Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 what you're thinking of doing may be potentially harmful to your recovery and healing. i'm fighting the same beast myself. except i've actually given in. i've been looking at my ex's facebook quite often, yet i've found nothing. and for that, i am very thankful. all i need is to see that he's having a blast while i'm moping around being sad. try your best to restrain yourself. my goal is to get through the day without trying to check up on him. if you can make it the first few days, you've beat the hardest part.
smudge21 Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 Checking up on an ex and finding nothing does makes us feel sort of okay, like there's nothing happening in their lives so we can convince ourselves that they're not having a great time with out us. But, here's the downside, one day you will see an update that really hits you hard - a new person they've met, pictures of them having a great time, an engagement (that one hit me hard). Try not to do it - the day you see something you regret will only set you back. Besides, if you keep looking then in reality you're not really NC. You're still allowing that little bit of hope to keep you connected to them. Trust me, the pain you may experience isn't worth it.
without Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 Even if you have healed completely it's not worth trying.but i think if you're sure you're over her and curiousity is killing you give it a shot. I myself after a couple of days after breaking up checked my ex facebook,seemingly he was so happy and said he has missed the taste of different girls..i was worse,like a knife stabbing my heart,at least i would expect him to be sad..maybe he was just putting on a happy face.. But after that i promised myself not to check him again ever.if i saw he's with someone else,that would make me feel the worst and i know im not still over him,so i don't risk it. Actually hd dumped me so suddenly and with no apparant reason ,despite telling me till the last minute he loved me.
Author Nohbody Posted July 23, 2011 Author Posted July 23, 2011 Dear M, It's been a difficult adjustment to make, to really understand that there is absolutely nothing between us anymore. Waking up next to someone and telling them 'I love you' for two and a half years creates certain habits and expectations that are difficult to break. But I'm breaking them. I wonder if you miss me, or if you still love me. I have decided to believe the answer to both is in the negative. I don't know if that reflects reality, but it's the only way I can make any sense out of anything for myself and carry on. You decided you were done with me before you left, I know that now. I'm still waiting for some sign from you that you'll come back. I try not to acknowledge that to myself, but I know that's what is going on. Old habits are hard to break. I nearly broke, myself. But if I were the person you've seemed to paint me, I would have broken. If I were the person you've accused me of being, this wouldn't be hard. As it stands, you will always have a piece of my heart - and all I can do is try to forgive, move on, and wish you a good life. What you must think of me, how much fun you must be having without me... I hope I can stop caring some day. Someday I'm going to finish picking up the pieces, then I'll turn off the light and shut the door. I hope that day is soon. I think it will be. I still love you. I can't say I'm sorry anymore.
without Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 I hope we'll never experience sth like that ever again. I know how you feel,buddy.
Author Nohbody Posted July 24, 2011 Author Posted July 24, 2011 the price of a memory is the memory of the sorrow it brings.
sun_moon Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 Hey Nobody, everyone is right, while you arent reaching out to her, checking her blog is still a form of breaking NC. I myself am restarting again, I've had a few moments of LC, I understand the temptation, its quite natural. Its amazing how random certain thoughts and/or memories are, but for me, they creep up unexpectedly. I miss him too but that is ok, because one day, you will miss that person less and less, and before you know it, your indifferent. I did something strange yesterday, but it was bittersweet, in the end it just showed me how far I have come. I read my first entries on here, brought back some sad emotions, but overall, I am impressed with my progress and you should be too.
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