Ibanez Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 (edited) Hello LS I don't really know where to start.. Here we go. When I was little my father, the ******* left our family. He had beaten my mom several times and whatnot. He called police and tried to get us arrested. (I was 1 year old) My mother had good friends, and even though we were both immigrants we made it in. Now years has passed. I tend to get in big fights with my mother, but I will get back to that later. Now she is getting her master degree and I am 15. It' seriously a pain. Everytime I do an action she doesn't want me to do, she says: "You're just like your father", everytime I say words I probably shouldn't: "You are as ugly as him, your nose and whatnot" It feels like she is keep relating me to him. Actions and so on. We had a long history of fighting and really. Sometimes the words just slip out of mouth. I just can't hold it and we fight. I have been going through depressing stages of my life, and she helps me. Whenever I get good again, she is mad at me for me acting like a child and getting depressed which just ****s me up. She is telling me I need to go to a psychiatrist, and she claims that we have to get back to my "father" It hurts to say that. It all started when I was little and he sent this letter for my mother to all us of us getting back. It went good for 1 month and he dissappeared. He is a mommas boy. You have no idea, she controls him. Just like a puppetter. Now this happened 3-4 times. This 1 month relationship and then dissappearing and not answering telephone. He only want us for him to feel better about himself. I never got any birthday presents, I never got any letters. And still, my mother claims that we have to get back to him which always ends in a fight. I am tired of this ****ty life, and I am tired of getting this "Sword" into my heart. It feels cold and bad. What should I do? My self confindence is low too, and she claims that I should go out with my friends and leave the house, computer getting outside. For some reason I just don't like it. There was period of my life where my friends spammed me with messages and calls on telephone and I never answered. They still like me, but for some reason I don't like being social and whenever I am not, I get depressed. Whenever she get's home she is always angry. It really affects me, having a chat with friends online, happy, smiling and then her. I am tired of it.. I am always helping around with letters as in fixing the grammar and misspellings and I never get any credit. I really don't know how to fix this, it has been a problem since I was 9, and at those young years I sometimes just wanted to do suicide. It feels very unhealthy. Help. PS: Male here. Edited July 23, 2011 by Ibanez
goldmoon Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 I do agree you have a big problem - at least from what you have shared here. A forum like this may not be the best place to solve your problem. I am not an expert, but I am sure of giving you this advice: try to talk to your mother and also to a teacher (for a personal, confidential talk) and describe them exactly how you feel. At least tell them all that you told us here. It's important that you get professional help through individual or family therapy. The sooner the better! This is a very difficult period for you, but believe me, it will get better!
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