perfection walking Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 Does anyone have a success story? Did your mm leave his wife for you and your relationship has flourished?
OWoman Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 Does anyone have a success story? Did your mm leave his wife for you and your relationship has flourished? Yes. Though there are other measures of success too.
Silly_Girl Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 Does anyone have a success story? Did your mm leave his wife for you and your relationship has flourished? Yes. And - hell yes! I couldn't be happier with him. It's really affected me quite deeply and continues to do so. But I had my share of heartbreak too, so no rose-tinted glasses for me
Got it Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 I agree with OW - there are other measures of success. More importantly is the moment in time assessment. Are you guys good now? Does the relationships fullfill you? Are you satisfied. The MP can leave, can be with the OP but that does mean that things will be good. Just like a MP can stay, still be with the OP and both can be very happy and satisfied in the relationship. Yes, MM did leave, and I guess we are a success though ask me that on any given day and I may gush about him or tell you how I am going to pop his head off. Truly no different than when we were in an EMR. That does have me wondering, what does success or successful mean in a relationship?
Silly_Girl Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 That does have me wondering, what does success or successful mean in a relationship? The assumption I admit I made was that the OP was looking for something in contrast to the 'usual' as cited on LS. It didn't occur to me to question further.
Got it Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 The assumption I admit I made was that the OP was looking for something in contrast to the 'usual' as cited on LS. It didn't occur to me to question further. No I think you are absolutely correct, that is what she was probably looking for. I was just musing on the idea of "success" in regards to relationships in general. It's such a funny word to define a relationship. The definition is: suc·cess [ [COLOR=#0033cc]sək séss[/COLOR] ] [/url]To hear the pronunciation, install Silverlight suc·cess·esPlural NOUN 1. achievement of intention: the achievement of something planned or attempted 2. attainment of fame, wealth, or power: impressive achievement, especially the attainment of fame, wealth, or power 3. something that turns out well: something that turns out as planned or intended 4. somebody successful: somebody who is wealthy, famous, or powerful because of a record of achievement [ Mid-16th century. < Latin successus < past participle of succedere (see succeed) ] If makes it sound like an end point where things are always growing, changing, evolving, etc until one or both of the parties ends the relationship. Just a musing on a Sunday evening. . .
Silly_Girl Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 I understand. I know I've seen it said (on LS) that you can't say your relationship is a success until the 'end' when you have been together and are no longer and there's been no infidelity, for example. For me, if everything changes tomorrow, my current relationship would certainly not be deemed a 'failure' in my eyes, for lots of reasons.
4321sn Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 My MM left his wife and we are both legally separated and currently going through divorces. Mine has been dragging on for a year and a half. My MM (now BF) just started the process a few months ago and will probably be divorced before me. We love one another and are living together. We are happy with our relationship but it has been so difficult. Dealing with our children, families finances, divorce has been so stressful, but we have been doing very well considering. During the affair our time was so limited so we have had a hard time spending any time apart. We are in therapy trying to sort out the new form of our relationship. At the end of the day it is so comforting to have him close by.
4321sn Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 So, although I am not ready to call it a success I am happy and am thankful to have him in my life.
Got it Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 I understand. I know I've seen it said (on LS) that you can't say your relationship is a success until the 'end' when you have been together and are no longer and there's been no infidelity, for example. For me, if everything changes tomorrow, my current relationship would certainly not be deemed a 'failure' in my eyes, for lots of reasons. That is sad that the success of a union is based on the sexual propriety of the pair. Seems like success should be defined as much more than that. I think there may be some relationships out there that have been overall a great deal of happiness and joy though have dealt with infidelity.
Silly_Girl Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 That is sad that the success of a union is based on the sexual propriety of the pair. Seems like success should be defined as much more than that. I think there may be some relationships out there that have been overall a great deal of happiness and joy though have dealt with infidelity. Agree completely.
NoIDidn't Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 That is sad that the success of a union is based on the sexual propriety of the pair. Seems like success should be defined as much more than that. I think there may be some relationships out there that have been overall a great deal of happiness and joy though have dealt with infidelity. But that is exactly what some have defined as success in this forum: Getting the MM to leave his marriage and commit to them. Many a marriage has survived infidelity too, but I'm not sure the second sentence is including those that survived it vs. those that came to be because of it. Sorry for my confusion on this point. I agree that success in a relationship is certainly different and should be defined apart from simply ending up together. But that is exactly what is defined as success by many of the intended audience of this forum. There have been different names for it too, "Happy Ending" comes to mind. I have a question different from the definition of "successful" for a relationship. Why do OPs consider the MP leaving the marriage a "success" for them?
crazy love Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 Hey PW, great post thanx for starting it. As for me I don't have a solid answer as far as my personal situation at the moment. Success, as beauty is always in the eye of the beholder. Mine is an interesting one, you know the saying "actions speak louder than words"? Well my Man is very obvious in his actions. He is very much here, with me. I feel like he is showing me with all of his actions that he is here for the long hall. When we discuss it in "words" he has a very hard time telling me in specific words what his plans are. We both want a life together without all of the current complications eventually, but I find that he has a hard time actually saying it in words. I think he doesnt know exactly waht his plan is and so he feels insecure saying out loud what is to be. Granted these things do take time, I fully understand that as a separated single mother I totally get it. Just because you want out of you M it can get complicated and can drag on a bit, I am a prime example and I have no romantic emotional attachment to my X. So, I am believing in his actions, and trying not to focus on his lack of words for the moment, as I do believe that saying, "Actions DO speak louder." So, as for success....I feel that in my heart, this Man has given so much to me in my life in the time we have been together that do feel my relationship is a success. I've never loved a man more deeply and truly before. I have found and experienced true love with the guy from all of my dreams! I am a better person because of him, he has expressed that he is a better person because of me. Our mutual friends have even said that we have changed each other in a positive way that even they can see. That to me is success in itself. I've found something amazing together with a beautiful person, something that I never even thought possible. Now I am going for the icing on top.....A life together, where I wake up and fall asleep everyday next to the love of my life, that would be so sweet, that is my new dream.
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