fetish1980 Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 Hey LS, Wondering if you all could help me out. I feel kind of silly writing this post over this girl i like as if i'm not confident enough to make my own determination and decision, but... what the hell right There's this woman i've been crushing on at my job for a few months. She works in the same building, but a different section of the building where we both are restricted from eachother's section. So when i see her, its usually just passing by. Anyway, i've been slowly trying to warm up to her for the last few months. I saw her sitting outside one day and we were just conversing as i was walking in the building. I told her i had barbequed for memorial day. She said, "Oh you did? Bring me some nextime!" She said it in fun, but i used that as an opportunity to get closer in. A few days later as she was leaving, i was talking to her outside and asked if she was serious about wanting the BBQ. She smiled and said kind of flirtingly, "Yeah. bring me some!" I knew she doesn't have company email set up yet so i asked her how wer could communicate. She said " I got a number!" It seems she changed her mind because she took my number and said, i'll text it to you. Later that night, she sent me the text. I've always been kind of flirting and joking with her without being aggressive and forward. I later nicknamed her runway model because of her sylish clothing, walk, and 4 inch high heels. She laughed when i first called her that almost as if she was flattered. Anyway, one time i called her and she didn't answer, but we had light hearted text conversations (that i initiate) all the time. There were a few times she didn't text back but most of the time she does. I ended up bringing her some BBQ and she loved it. She texted me later that night saying she was still grubbin on it and that she really appreciated it. So i back off for about a month and don't really call or text. But we always waive at eachother at work but i don't maintain too much eye contact to keep the coworkers from gossiping. Long story short, this week, passing by in the parking lot. We speak, i've been smiling at her and she's really been smiling back. I told her i was grilling again this weekend. She told me not to forget her and gave me a smile. Today coming out of the restroom , she said "Hi (real name). I like that shirt!" Later i decided to get a little bolder and texted her that she always gets more BBQ than the other coworkers have because she's special. She texted me saying i was so nice and sweet! I always see the word "sweet" as doom and gloom for a guy's chances with dating. Does it sound like she could be interested or should i not get any hopes up? She might be playing hard to get, but you can't really tell with some women. I really like her but haven't had the courage to ask her out, just been using the BBQ as a means to talk with her by telephone. I've been out of the dating game for 8 years and a little rusty. Need some advice. fetish
robdrm32 Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 Well if you actually are having the BBQ just ask her to come by. Tell her she is welcome to bring a friend. If she goes she is interested, if she doesn't she most likely isn't.
musemaj11 Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 I have the feeling that she is not really into you.
Author fetish1980 Posted July 23, 2011 Author Posted July 23, 2011 I have the feeling that she is not really into you. oh really? why?
DuskCrush Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 Not enough here to tell...but I like Musemaj I feel as if she isnt interestee because she hasnt really shown any interest. By the way, she already knows you are into her and is using the bbq as an excuse to talk to her...i wouldnt suggest asking her out directly since it might be awkward...ask her if she has a boyfriend first...maybe she has a bf...
make me believe Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 Maybe you could hold a get-together BBQ with a few friends/co-workers and invite her. Keep it casual and see if she comes. If she's interested in you, she'll definitely be there. With the info you've given, she could be interested in you but she could just be trying to be polite, or not interested in taking it outside of a work setting. I'm guessing she knows you're interested though, especially since you do things like call her "runway model" (which I would recommend you cut down on, btw... it's a bit too much). If you don't want to have people over for a BBQ, just straight up ask her out sometime. Suggest drinks or dinner after work.
Author fetish1980 Posted July 23, 2011 Author Posted July 23, 2011 thanks for the replies everyone. well, mmb as far as the nickname i gave her, i really just call her runway. She laughed and asked how she got that nickname, i told her because she steps like a model down the runway and she seemed flattered, but then again maybe she was just trying to be nice. Duckcrush, the other day as we were talking in the parking lot she was smiling and looking at me directly. I almost thought it was borderline seductive but maybe not, But yeah, she doesn't show interest directly. I was thinking on one hand, maybe because we're both at work and she's trying to keep it professional or like me, not wanting to become the point of gossip. She's very and easy to talk to in person and aside from looks, she seems to have a strong head on her and is very intriguing. I kind of asked her if she had a man through text message. I jokingly said, "You don't have some crazy man that might trip over a text message do you?" She replied, "How funny! Fortunately i don't". Now alot of people would probably think that the word fortunately shuts everything down, but some women do like guys to step up and might play things off. I'm just not sure. I just always back out of talking to a nice looking girl from fear of rejection and don't want to make that mistake without trying first. fetish
make me believe Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 Ok, fetish at this point I think the work flirting and texting has gone on long enough and you either need to ask her out or accept that nothing is going to happen. The reason I say that is because you are getting into dangerous territory of overthinking everything and searching for clues in every little interaction. We can speculate all day long if she is interested or not, but you'll never really know until you make a move. If you ask her out and she rejects you, whats the worst that will happen? You might feel embarrassed & crappy for awhile, but that happens to everyone. At least you'll know! I don't think you have a lot to lose by making a move.
Author fetish1980 Posted July 23, 2011 Author Posted July 23, 2011 Ok, fetish at this point I think the work flirting and texting has gone on long enough and you either need to ask her out or accept that nothing is going to happen. The reason I say that is because you are getting into dangerous territory of overthinking everything and searching for clues in every little interaction. We can speculate all day long if she is interested or not, but you'll never really know until you make a move. If you ask her out and she rejects you, whats the worst that will happen? You might feel embarrassed & crappy for awhile, but that happens to everyone. At least you'll know! I don't think you have a lot to lose by making a move. You're absolutely right, overthinking and overanalyzing things can definitely cause failure. There ain't nothing towards doin' it but just to do it. I would rather try and face rejection and a little dissapointment than to not try and always wonder. I guess that scenario applies in life in general too. Thanks makemebelieve
Author fetish1980 Posted July 23, 2011 Author Posted July 23, 2011 yeah it's a way of psyching yourself out by overanalyzing everything. At this point, i've put her on too much of a pedistal. She's still human like me who eats, sleeps, breathes, craps, or whatever just like i do.
Author fetish1980 Posted August 7, 2011 Author Posted August 7, 2011 Well, after some more flirting, texting, and of course some more BBQ:laugh:, i finally got the courage today and called her to ask her out. I asked her to starbucks and she kind of made fun of me for that. LOL. She said that we could go to chilis and have a margarita and meet up about 6pm. But just 2 hours before our date, she texts me and said we might have to hook up tommorow because some things came up and it's turning out to be not such a good day. I texted her back telling her that I'd call her after church. She texts back saying she gets out at 2pm. I texted her back saying that i'd call her then and then she replied "Cool!" I still am having trouble telling with her. I've never been a good determinator if someone is in to me or not. fetish
make me believe Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 Well, after some more flirting, texting, and of course some more BBQ:laugh:, i finally got the courage today and called her to ask her out. Yay!! Good luck tomorrow! If she cancels again I'd leave the ball in her court, but hopefully everything goes well.
Author fetish1980 Posted August 7, 2011 Author Posted August 7, 2011 Yay!! Good luck tomorrow! If she cancels again I'd leave the ball in her court, but hopefully everything goes well. mmb, i owe it to you man. it was your last post that helped me get off my ass and finally ask her. you helped me realize i had to man up. (put up or shut up!)
Author fetish1980 Posted September 17, 2011 Author Posted September 17, 2011 forgot to update. i know its been over a month but, she had agreed to meet the next day, August 7th. We had plans. And right before an hour before our meet up, she sends me a text saying that she was waiting on her son's father to call her back because she had made arrangements for him to go over to his house that day. She said, "If he didn't call her back, then she would have to reschedule". I relied: Okay, just keep me posted. About 45 minutes went by. I sent another text: So what's the status? She replied: I'm on the phone with my son's father now. Sorry but it doesn't look like its going to happen, but i'll call you if the status changes. I played it and replied cool, "That's cool, your son comes first." She replied later: "Thanks for understanding" Anyway, she never followed up to reschedule. I tried to start another text conversation with her later that week and she kind of kept the replies short. I thought about the 3 strikes out rule and to try once more, but sometimes there's no need for the 3rd strike. fetish
Author fetish1980 Posted September 17, 2011 Author Posted September 17, 2011 Aw, that's a shame. Sorry. Do you still see her at work? And how does she react when she sees you? All is not completely lost though, she seemed excited to go... maybe she is having personal issues in her life right now and trying to keep you from the drama? Who knows. She's always polite when she sees me. She always says to me, "Hi (real name). How's it going?" But its usually just passing by. She doesn't ever really stop or strategically try to delay herself to stop and talk. I guess it could be possible there's personal issues, but my guess is she's not really into me. fetish
dispatch3d Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 Wow I would have asked her to go to something somewhere at somepoint. What's the point of cataloguing day-to-day guy/girl conversations? Idk not my thing.
Author fetish1980 Posted September 18, 2011 Author Posted September 18, 2011 Wow I would have asked her to go to something somewhere at somepoint. What's the point of cataloguing day-to-day guy/girl conversations? Idk not my thing. I guess it has to do with timing. For one thing, she's going and i'm coming. Going opposite directions is kind of difficult to spark those kind of conversations. Plus, we're at work and i don't want to make the gossip headlines risking getting us both fired. fetish
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