wilsonx Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 (edited) He was telling me the story tonight and i just slapped my hand on my forehead. Its the same exact story. He was like no no you do not understand. I told him yes I do, trust me you can tell me anything you want and it wont surprise me. So Im going to tell you 1 story that is the same for both of us. His girlfriend 3 months ago said she wanted to go live life on her own and be independent. My ex told me 4 months ago that she needed space. After she told him this she stayed with him and started bringing and hanging out with a coworker from work. My ex, started hanging out with the 37 year old guy from work. Now she likes to throw parties all the time and go out and dance. My ex did the same thing with her friends. Both my ex and his gf have the same upbringing. Father not around, mother was a pain in the ass, neither one liked them, they were the oldest and had to take care of the youngest siblings. I told him all these things about my ex and they were the same, you need to be prepared to end it. Its going to hurt like nothing he has ever felt before because he truly loves her as I did my ex but it needs to be done to salvage his pride and dignity when the time comes. He says he does not trust her I told him that's his intuition talking to him saying theres something wrong. The last 2 months I got this gut feeling that something was not right in my relationship. I did not trust her anymore no matter what she told me. Its pretty much over and he needs to start distancing. Theres something here in the water here in VA Edited July 23, 2011 by wilsonx
ThatBwoii Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 Exact same thing happened to me my friend, and wen i say EXACT, i mean EXACT!! even the father not being around, etc etc.
leoc1973 Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 Exact same thing with my ex and I mean exact. Still tells me that I am her soulmate and one day we will be back together. LOL like I am gonna wait around. But ya there is nothing you can do. Something is going on internally with her not externally with you. You have to just let them go and hope that they don't do anything too self destructive because that seems to me anyways to be going along with the whole syndrome.
Author wilsonx Posted July 23, 2011 Author Posted July 23, 2011 Exact same thing with my ex and I mean exact. Still tells me that I am her soulmate and one day we will be back together. LOL like I am gonna wait around. But ya there is nothing you can do. Something is going on internally with her not externally with you. You have to just let them go and hope that they don't do anything too self destructive because that seems to me anyways to be going along with the whole syndrome. Well, my ex is back into using drugs again. Shes hanging out with her old crowd that she ditched when she started dating me... One of my friends floated a picture of her and her new bf (LOL) I laughed at him... hes 37 yrs old, hideous, no hair busted teeth. And I saw the pic and I was like wow she looks the same. My 2 female friends who sent me the picture said WHAT ARE U TALKING ABOUT... she went from an 8 -> 3.5/4 . I guess Im still attracted to her since I do not see it at all. They stated that she looks like shes lost 20-30 pounds and is on drugs. Wouldnt surprise me in the least. You have no concept of how bad she wants me in her life, its ridiculous. She has no strong alpha male friends, all her guy friends are beta even the toolbag shes dating now. She dropped another breadcrumb today. This is the 4th after I demanded that she respect my boundaries and give me space and time to heal and move forward 3 previous times. Now I have been just ignoring them. The hardest thing I have to do is let her go, I thought I was over her but guess not. If I could not see her 3.5/4 score from 2 females, then Im no where there yet.
sun_moon Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 Well, my ex is back into using drugs again. Shes hanging out with her old crowd that she ditched when she started dating me... One of my friends floated a picture of her and her new bf (LOL) I laughed at him... hes 37 yrs old, hideous, no hair busted teeth. And I saw the pic and I was like wow she looks the same. My 2 female friends who sent me the picture said WHAT ARE U TALKING ABOUT... she went from an 8 -> 3.5/4 . I guess Im still attracted to her since I do not see it at all. They stated that she looks like shes lost 20-30 pounds and is on drugs. Wouldnt surprise me in the least. You have no concept of how bad she wants me in her life, its ridiculous. She has no strong alpha male friends, all her guy friends are beta even the toolbag shes dating now. She dropped another breadcrumb today. This is the 4th after I demanded that she respect my boundaries and give me space and time to heal and move forward 3 previous times. Now I have been just ignoring them. The hardest thing I have to do is let her go, I thought I was over her but guess not. If I could not see her 3.5/4 score from 2 females, then Im no where there yet. Wow,so you've had the same conversation with her as I had with my ex! I've told him 4 times already to leave things alone, yet again, after a few days, he's contacted me. Yeah I'm not any where near over it, because: 1. I caved and replied 2. I miss him 3. I'm sad/angry
Author wilsonx Posted July 23, 2011 Author Posted July 23, 2011 Wow,so you've had the same conversation with her as I had with my ex! I've told him 4 times already to leave things alone, yet again, after a few days, he's contacted me. Yeah I'm not any where near over it, because: 1. I caved and replied 2. I miss him 3. I'm sad/angry Yea, The picture was a bad idea to look at, I actually regret it. But i think you and I are in different circumstances. I do not think I miss my ex at all after what she did to me. Im ready for her to move on and me to move on
sun_moon Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 If I remember correctly from your early posts, she cheated on you and lied! You caught her. Yeah I WANT to move on as well, that much I can say, I cant wait till I get to the point of indifference.
Author wilsonx Posted July 23, 2011 Author Posted July 23, 2011 yea well I found out there was another thing she did to me, mentally abused me... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t288930/ I posted here because I do not know how to recover from this. One of my bosses at work was searching through the yellow pages for a counselor but I'm pretty sure I need someone that has a prescription pad. I talked to my parents about this and my mom said something that was spot on. She said hurt people hurt other people. I know what happened to her, it was bad but I did not know until the end after we broke up and she started telling me things about her past. I said a little late now
ThatBwoii Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 Kinda like cold feet for women, always seems to happen around the 2 year mark, and always before the summer too!! happened to me many times!!
Author wilsonx Posted July 25, 2011 Author Posted July 25, 2011 Well, she ended it with him Fri night... I talked to her today with friendly hey how are you and she said you know. I said no I dont know and she broke up with him Fri night. I said oh. Can't say I did not see that coming. She was fully distant from him, no emotions no nothing like she did not care. She had broken up with him 3 months ago because she wanted space (lol...like we all know what that means). They just moved into a new apartment together. He told me she said she wanted to live the single life and she broke up with him because of his insecurity (I planted that in her head when i talked to her Tuesday night). I told him to come over tonight and he said he would. I know exactly what hes doing,... begging and pleading but he does not see that shes already checked out emotionally.
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