yzyzyz325 Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 (edited) When dumpers dumped dumpees, what did they feel? Especially when the reasons were no feelings anymore or didn't feel right or tried to focus on selves. My ex dumped me out of the blue, and when I asked her she didn't even know why. Being too busy and stressed from uni study is the only reason i can thk of. Our best mutual friend asked her if she wanted to talk abt it with her. She said she was not in a mood to talk abt it, she will let time heal herself. She also told me that she was not ready to be friend yet. That is something i dont understand. she is the one who lost feelings, she is the one who suddenly decided to break up, why did she need time to heal herself??? She shud be happy that she is finally free, how come she seems to be suffering as well? Edited July 23, 2011 by yzyzyz325
123321 Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 I'm always sad it didn't work out and determined to stick to my guns.
Philosoraptor Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 I was the dumper and am still healing. Just because you ended it doesn't mean you are not hurting and that you don't have a lot of work to do on yourself. Only a complete ******* would have no hurt after a breakup.
wilsonx Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 thats what you do not understand... its hard to break up with someone too... the ones that look like they have an easy time doing it are the ones with the plan b ready to go... others need their space... technically she does not have to give you a reason why... it was her choice and if she says she needs time to heal, i think its a legit breakup, not a string you along type deal as a plan C. it was not working out for her... you just have to accept that you probably did nothing wrong, start healing from this and move forward
Author yzyzyz325 Posted July 23, 2011 Author Posted July 23, 2011 thats what you do not understand... its hard to break up with someone too... the ones that look like they have an easy time doing it are the ones with the plan b ready to go... others need their space... technically she does not have to give you a reason why... it was her choice and if she says she needs time to heal, i think its a legit breakup, not a string you along type deal as a plan C. it was not working out for her... you just have to accept that you probably did nothing wrong, start healing from this and move forward thx, but if she already lost feelings, and she wanted to be alone, there is nothing for her to heal right?
Author yzyzyz325 Posted July 23, 2011 Author Posted July 23, 2011 I was the dumper and am still healing. Just because you ended it doesn't mean you are not hurting and that you don't have a lot of work to do on yourself. Only a complete ******* would have no hurt after a breakup. thank you. i think it depends on why u broke up. if he cheated on u, then it's hard to heal. but if it's u who lost feelings or just wanted to be alone to focus on study or didn't want to be tied down, there is nothing for u to heal. In my opinion, healing is only needed when u still miss him/her
Casablanca Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 thank you. i think it depends on why u broke up. if he cheated on u, then it's hard to heal. but if it's u who lost feelings or just wanted to be alone to focus on study or didn't want to be tied down, there is nothing for u to heal. In my opinion, healing is only needed when u still miss him/her I disagree...my ex ended it with me because she was moving away, she was a mess ending it The two things I bolded...say someone moved away for college or really has no time for their S.O. and has to take time for school....I could see them being real sad and upset because they would still have feelings, but had to end it in order for their best interests Also, on the first thing, I broke up with an gf of 2.5 years and it was hard, we had changed a lot and I was no longer in love with her, but it was really hard and took me a while because she was such a big part of my life, it would have been impossible to not feel anything and when she didnt want to have any sort of friendship down the road afterwards, that hurt too
Sugarkane Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 Sounds like lame dumper excuses, so they dont have to face you/talk about it. My ex dumped me by text and we dated a year. He never even had the decency to have the breakup conversation with me. He just left me high and dry.
BrokenHeartedFiance Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 Sorry to hear that you got the cold-shoulder break up. Recently, I learned that my fiance had been keeping secrets about debt from me. We called off the wedding, and he is trying to fix his problems. He says he still loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me, but I have been thinking a lot about ending the relationship. I know that he will be completely devastated, but I will be too. I feel betrayed by his secrets and am devastated by what the lying has done to my future. At the end of the day, we all have to endure a lot of heartache and pain when a relationship ends - whether we are the dumper or the dumpee.
Author yzyzyz325 Posted July 24, 2011 Author Posted July 24, 2011 I disagree...my ex ended it with me because she was moving away, she was a mess ending it The two things I bolded...say someone moved away for college or really has no time for their S.O. and has to take time for school....I could see them being real sad and upset because they would still have feelings, but had to end it in order for their best interests Also, on the first thing, I broke up with an gf of 2.5 years and it was hard, we had changed a lot and I was no longer in love with her, but it was really hard and took me a while because she was such a big part of my life, it would have been impossible to not feel anything and when she didnt want to have any sort of friendship down the road afterwards, that hurt too thx for sharing ur story. would u mind telling me why u was no longer in love with her? it must be some reasons for losing feelings and yes, they would feel sad if they broke up only for being too busy with other things. But most of the time, they lost feelings bcoz of being too busy and stressed with study or work (Does that make sense?) . And once they lost feelings, breakup would not be hurt, bcoz to them, the relationship was nothing but a burden. If they still enjoyed the relationship, they would not break up in the first place. And now, they finally got rid of the burden they felt annoyed with, they shud be relieved and happy
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