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Posted

I don't know if this is game playing, but I think it is.

 

I went to a big BBQ party with a lot of people. I met this woman, and we get to flirting and such, we talked for a while.

 

Then I asked her if she was on FB and she said that she was and I asked if I could add her. She said "Sure."

 

About a few days later, I add her, but she never accepts it, so I wait about a week or so and follow-up message her with, "Hey did you get my friends request?"

 

And she goes, "Yes, I did"

(Note, even after that response, she never did add me)

 

Then, I responded, "Um...so you want to accept it, or shall I retract it, lol"

 

So I don't know what kind of game she's playing. Is this game playing? lol

Posted

She's being shady for sure. She doesn't want to add you for whatever reason. Did you ask her about her relationship status?

Posted
Then I asked her if she was on FB and she said that she was and I asked if I could add her. She said "Sure."

 

With hindsight, it sounds like "sure" meant "no", or when she sobered up after the BBQ she decided she wasn't interested after all.

Posted (edited)

What's so cool about her that makes you put up with that?

 

I had a female friend (or rather acquaintance), who never reacted to my friends request. After a few logins, I ended up forgetting about her. Get busy.

Edited by rafallus
Posted

Are you sure she remembers who you are?

 

I hung out with this girl all day that I had just met and told her I would add her on facebook that night. I did and she messaged me all angrily with,"Who the **** are you?!" I was like,"DUH! The girl you spent all day with."

 

She wound up becoming one of my best friends, but that was an extremely awkward way to start a friendship.

Posted

She isn't playing a game, she clearly isn't interested at all.

  • Author
Posted
She isn't playing a game, she clearly isn't interested at all.

 

Actually, if she wasn't interested, she would've said so in the first place, even decline my friends request...and also not flirt with me.

 

So yes, she's playing games....or if not, she's just a flake.

Posted

Does that actually happen to you? Like seriously, the world would run a lot smoother if people just said they weren't interested, but they hardly ever do. Lots of people flirt with folks they aren't that interested in, or they lose interest quickly. If she was interested, she'd accept your friend request. I'm thrown by her responding to you at all, but it didn't sound interested... it sounded dismissive. And it's not like being FB friends MEANS something... most people just accept whoever adds them. The fact that she is not actually declining you is not a sign of interest.

 

But believe what you like.

  • Author
Posted
Does that actually happen to you? Like seriously, the world would run a lot smoother if people just said they weren't interested, but they hardly ever do. Lots of people flirt with folks they aren't that interested in, or they lose interest quickly. If she was interested, she'd accept your friend request. I'm thrown by her responding to you at all, but it didn't sound interested... it sounded dismissive. And it's not like being FB friends MEANS something... most people just accept whoever adds them. The fact that she is not actually declining you is not a sign of interest.

 

But believe what you like.

 

She's just a flake, typically "She likes to run hot and cold" attitude...aka, a flake.

Posted

How do you know she didn't decline your friendship request? When a request is declined, it just hovers as "pending" to the person who was declined, so you wouldn't have a way of knowing unless she specifically told you. If she was interested, she'd have added you---she isn't playing games.

  • Author
Posted
How do you know she didn't decline your friendship request? When a request is declined, it just hovers as "pending" to the person who was declined.

 

No it does not, if it was declined, it would go back to the "add friend" button, at this point it still shows me as "pending"

 

Which probably means she's debating it. Which is why I had asked if she's going to accept it or not.

Posted
No it does not, if it was declined, it would go back to the "add friend" button, at this point it still shows me as "pending"

 

Which probably means she's debating it. Which is why I had asked if she's going to accept it or not.

 

You lost the battle when you failed to ask for her phone number, move on. Why on earth would you ask if she's on facebook?

  • Author
Posted
Why on earth would you ask if she's on facebook?

 

Not sure what you mean by this. I've done this with everyone, both male and female.

Posted

Oh boy, what is wrong with you? I mean are we seriously debating about the question if adding someone on FB or not could be a sign for being interested in someone?

 

What about asking her out or trying to have some kind of a more meaningful conversation instead of bothering her with the question why she didn’t accept your friend request? Do you really think that she might become more interested in you just because being added on FB obviously means the world to you? Come on, FB is just a stupid page and doesn’t mean anything. I have a lot of friends on FB but that doesn’t mean that I am really interested in them or that I am close to them. Instead some of my best and closest friends in real life aren’t even in my buddy list because we don’t define our friendship via FB.

 

As for the girl, maybe she is playing games or maybe she just wanted to have a nice conversation with someone on that BBQ instead of standing bored in the corner. I mean it was just a BBQ where people are trying to have a good time with great food and some nice conversations. This doesn’t mean anything. If you really want to know if she might be more interested in you should put some more effort in your actions. Just adding someone on FB doesn’t count at all.

 

Argh, when did people become such lazy cowards? Where is all the old fashion, like asking someone out on a date or maybe just for a cup of coffee?

  • Author
Posted
Argh, when did people become such lazy cowards?

 

Lazy cowards? Where did you get this idea? I dunno, but with the dawn of the internet and social networking, people are finding other options of asking someone out? Let's be open minded here.

 

I mean, maybe I should've asked for her digits after we got done talking? Maybe I would've been successful? I seriously doubt it. If I asked her out now, chances are she'll think, "What's wrong with this idiot? I won't accept him on FB, now he's asking me out??"

 

I really see no difference between the old-fashioned ways of communication and the new.

Posted
Lazy cowards? Where did you get this idea? I dunno, but with the dawn of the internet and social networking, people are finding other options of asking someone out? Let's be open minded here.

I didn’t mean to offend you and it was more generally.

 

Of course there are millions of other ways these days to ask someone out. But let’s face it, some people and especially girls still prefer the old-fashion way. I am talking from experience and don’t just say that to make you feel bad about how tried to connect with her.

 

Having a FB account doesn’t always mean that you would like to add people to your list that you would like to go out with. For some it might be an option but I know a lot of girls, including me, which prefer other ways to get in touch with someone.

 

Why don’t you just ask her out? Just because you are afraid she could say no? And what if she would say no? At least you would know for sure and you wouldn’t have to ask yourself anymore if she might be interested or not. Just try it. ;o)

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