rightfield Posted July 22, 2011 Posted July 22, 2011 A post in another thread inspired me to ask: Ladies, are you ok with being approached by a guy, having the guy give you his number along with an invitation to call or text him. I can see how some women may not like the approach, because traditionally, the man is supposed to be the pursuer, and the one calling, etc. I can also see how modern women may actually prefer this method because it puts her in the position of deciding whether to contact or not, and she doesn't have to give her number out to some unknown person. So how do the women of today prefer to do the number exchange?
Sexual Twinkie Posted July 22, 2011 Posted July 22, 2011 (edited) In my experiences with women, it's easy to get phone numbers. Now whether she picks up or not is a different thing. As a guy, you should be taking action. Some girls get approach so much that they don't have time to call all the guys. On occasion girls do take action, but it's rare and guys shouldnt expect it. My ideal way to get a phone number is first build some commonalities and offer something that I am doing later that she should come join me on. Then she knows why I got her number, plus I tell her what I like about her for more than her looks, with something like "You're easy to talk to" etc. http://www.whitegirlswithasianguys.com http://www.seductiveinstinct.com Edited July 22, 2011 by Sexual Twinkie
happiness0421 Posted July 22, 2011 Posted July 22, 2011 I'm a 24-year-old woman, and I would totally be cool with a guy giving me his number (provided that I was actually interested in him). Sometimes I feel 'forced' into giving a guy my number if he asks for it, because I'm not really attracted to him but I don't know how to let him down nicely. If a guy gave me his number on a piece of paper or something, I would actually find that kind of cute and I would like the fact that it puts the ball in my court to do something about it. And if I didn't like him, I just wouldn't call! Sorry, don't mean to sound like a b*tch, but I'm pretty sure that guys do the same exact thing.
Ruby Slippers Posted July 22, 2011 Posted July 22, 2011 No, I would not call him. If I was interested, I would give him my number and he could call me.
Casablanca Posted July 22, 2011 Posted July 22, 2011 No, I would not call him. If I was interested, I would give him my number and he could call me. But what is wrong with calling him?
Ruby Slippers Posted July 22, 2011 Posted July 22, 2011 But what is wrong with calling him? It is only recently that women have begun to take more of an initiating role in dating. I'm progressive and open-minded, so I've just begun trying it. So far, I've had NO success. I'm 35, so I'm on the cusp of this trend -- and I like it much better the old-fashioned way, where the guy initiates.
zengirl Posted July 22, 2011 Posted July 22, 2011 I'm 26. If the approach is in person: I prefer just to exchange numbers, which means we both have each others' numbers right there. This is usually done by someone taking out their phone and texting the other. It's pretty much how it almost ALWAYS goes with guys who I've been approached by in person the past couple years. I would find it odd if a guy didn't do that, actually. Who has whose number first becomes irrelevant, though unless otherwise expressed, most guys assume the onus is on them to call/text first (and I'm totally cool with that). That said, if I feel compelled to text the guy after such an event, I will; usually I'll wait and see when he texts me, as that gives me some data. If the approach is online: I prefer he give his number. I will either write back. "Cool, here's mine, text me sometime" or I'll text him or whatever. That gives me those options still. I'll never CALL a guy first. But I rarely call anyone. I'll text a guy first or message him first though. I actually get weirded out if a guy I barely know calls me. I'd much prefer he text me for a bit first. I'd actually sooner meet a guy than talk on the phone with him. . . Usually my order is (from online): message, text, meet/date, phone or (from in person): meet, text, date, phone. I really hate talking on the phone with all but those I'm actually growing close to. But I've lived in countries in Asia where calls were kind of pricey but texting was basically free so everyone texted. . . maybe that's it. I do think a lot of my generation texts more than calls.
Ruby Slippers Posted July 22, 2011 Posted July 22, 2011 I do think a lot of my generation texts more than calls. Yeah. I'm Generation X, and I STRONGLY prefer calls over texts. To me, texts are so lazy and impersonal.
zengirl Posted July 22, 2011 Posted July 22, 2011 Yeah. I'm Generation X, and I STRONGLY prefer calls over texts. To me, texts are so lazy and impersonal. Generation X are the guys I date and (depending on what version of years you subscribe to me as well, since some go all the way to 1985, though I'm more Gen X/Gen Y cusp and only because I graduated super early) almost everyone I socialize with often since it goes all the way up to 1982 in most versions. I'm a couple years after that, but the end of Gen X are big texters as well, in my experience. Gen X is a huge group though either way. But I've always identified more with it than Gen Y. I entered college and the workforce at the same time as the last round of Gen Xers. I'm a total "cusp" though in so many ways.
Casablanca Posted July 22, 2011 Posted July 22, 2011 Yeah. I'm Generation X, and I STRONGLY prefer calls over texts. To me, texts are so lazy and impersonal. I agree too...I mean I like texting...it is great for quick communication....but I HATE to use it to get to know someone...when I meet someone and am getting to know them, I rarely text at first, and never really ask too many get to know questions that way, unless they ask first....it is great when in class or at work or cant talk on the phone to see what is up...I cant even bring myself to set up plans with someone who I have been going out with unless we are exclusive/had a discussion on what type of "relationship" we have (whether it be romantic or just casually dating)...it just feels spineless for me to ask for a date over text even if we had gone out a couple times...even if most if not all girls I meet probably wouldnt have a problem with it By the way Im 23
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