my ex wants me to pay him money, but i disagree...am i wrong???

[Luvstruckn85]

It's been almost seven months since my ex left me to be with another woman. After months of no contact he recently calls me to tell me I owe him money. I ask what for, he replies for helping me get my car and for a loan he took out for us to take a trip. We were together for 5.5 years so all of money doings were together. Originally we were paying the loan back. I would pay when he needed to take care of something else. As far as my car, it wasn't like he loaned the money, we helped each other when we needed to, he gave me $1000 on my car, I paid $1200 in legal fees for him. It was never a tit for tat deal. He also tells me I need to refinance my car and get him off of the loan, when I never asked him to do it anyways, he volunteered, saying its a step towards us actually managing our finances together because we were gonna marry in the summer. It's like he wants me to give him everything back and undo everything we did when were together all because he has a new girlfriend. Honestly, I wouldn't have minded paying anything had he not fed me bull crap lies asking me to marry him, then up and leaving for her. Not only that but basically putting me out for her to move in. Not to mention cutting my cellphone off and cancelling my car insurance all because she wanted us to lose all ties. I am a fulltime student in med school so our arrangement has always been for him to mainly take care of home until I finished. But he up and left the relationship without notice causing me to have to work two jobs and med school fulltime in order to support my self. I have really struggled mentally emotionally and financially these last seven months all because of him, so honestly I don't feel I owe him...am I wrong?

[wilsonx]

You have to refinance the car and get him off the loan. That way you wont have to deal with him anymore. After that do not pay him anything. If there was nothing in writing tell him to pound sand. If you are in NC with him, tell him to pound sand to yourself. Do not give him anything. You technically owe him nothing since you 2 are not in a relationship anymore

[PegNosePete]

Yes take him off the car finance, then tell him to take a long walk off a short pier.

[Luvstruckn85]

I have tried refinancing but I don't have any credit except for my loans for school, also my family members don't feel comfortable co-signing because they dont think i will be able to handle two jobs and school to make the payments. Everybody keeps telling me since he wanted you to finance a car knowing he was leaving to be with someone else, instead of letting you buy a cash car and telling you the truth he should be liable if for any reason you can't handle work and school.

[shayla]

I would sell that car, buy an old beater that you can pay for outright, then tell that bastid to kick rocks.

Edited July 22, 2011 by shayla
Did not see the post above before replying.

[PegNosePete]

Yes take whatever steps you need to cut the financial ties with him. If you need to sell the car and get a cheaper one, do it. Then tell him to beat his feet.

[t_i]

Do not put ANYTHING in writing. No texts anything. Do not claim liability.

 

I work in a bank with mortgages. When a husband and wife break up they're joint liable for the home, if one cant afford to pay letters get sent to both people regardless of the 'agreement' or if someones moved out years ago. I'm sure it must be the same with cars bought on finance. No wonder he wants himself off - if you cant pay he may have to?

 

However in turn that also means that all payments you've made towards the car will be split 50 50 if he wants it sold at the end?

 

Look into it, before doing anything though.