LZ2000 Posted July 22, 2011 Posted July 22, 2011 (edited) Hello all, I decided to go online to ask the good members of the forum for their insights and perspectives. I dated a girl, whom i really liked and feels the same way towards me. However, at that time, when I first knew her, I knew she was seeing someone else, and I knew that shouldn't even touch her at all. In fact i was kind of horrified that she was seeing someone else. And then, one day I decided to tell her about my feelings towards her (yes, i know, i can be a hopeless romantic at times). At that point, I was prepared to accept her rejection and move on with my life. I just needed some form of closure, as childish it may be. However, unexpectedly, she admitted her deep feelings for me and returned it with her love. When i asked about the man, whom i believed she was seeing, she said that he is just a friend, I trusted her words. We really enjoyed what little time we had together, although i did make some mistakes, i was quick to sincerely apologise for my screw ups (i never cheated on her). I have never forced her to do anything she didn't want or to force her to do something she didn't like. We even talked about the aspects of our own very different lives and even went to the topic of children. I am proud to say, that I was perfectly honest and sincere in everything i did for her and said to her. As time passed, i kind of noticed that she spent less effort to talking to me (i have commitments to other real life stuff) and was busy with other activities in her life. My trust and faith in her really was corroded. I tried to initiate spending more time with her and somehow i couldn't get rid of this morbid dreadful feeling. In the end, i spoke to one of her friends and discovered that my girlfriend is still hanging around with the same guy she was going out with before. And they seem to be very intimate now. I did asked her about it, but she was quite defensive. I am heartbroken. I'd really like to know, what are her possible reasons for doing this ? Maybe, i wasn't just there for her enough ? Maybe she decided that I'm no longer a potential boyfriend and had to cover her true intentions with little white lies ? I welcome and thank all you for all your insightful and wise replies to my situation. Edited July 22, 2011 by LZ2000
t_i Posted July 22, 2011 Posted July 22, 2011 Happened to me with my ex. He started seeing the girl he saw before after we split up. If you get upset about it or try and stop it - it will make her want to see him more. So leave it be. It'll be hard but saying anything may drive them together. Find someone who appreciates you and won't treat you badly! It probably won't work out with them but it's her loss!
Author LZ2000 Posted July 22, 2011 Author Posted July 22, 2011 (edited) Happened to me with my ex. He started seeing the girl he saw before after we split up. If you get upset about it or try and stop it - it will make her want to see him more. So leave it be. It'll be hard but saying anything may drive them together. Find someone who appreciates you and won't treat you badly! It probably won't work out with them but it's her loss! Thanks t_i. The thing is this, I am a guy who can take the rejection of my partners (i believe that love is meant to be something that is meant to be free), but to deceive and mislead other girls/guys just tears me up completely. I wonder why people even do that ! Maybe i at times, fall short of the ideals i live by when it comes to love. (when anyone is in love, i believe they make more mistakes than others...... that's my take. I can be wrong.) I really wonder the depths of the human soul sometimes, and how it can be stored with such questionable ethics. And honestly for me, it is real hard to find a girl who is genuine and at the same time, really someone i can "click" with. I really don't know if I should even tell her if I should break up with her at all..................... It frustrates me. I wonder, what is on her mind ??????? What is her inspiration towards her actions ???????? Is she even doing this and knowing it ?????? Is this deliberate ? Is she just doing this for fun ????? (BTW: I kind of want to get into a forum conversation with all members who reply to this topic.) Edited July 22, 2011 by LZ2000
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