LifesontheUp Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 *sigh* Surfer. All she did was kiss your foot Your wife is full of excuses and inaction. Surely by now you have got the message? She's throwing you a few and I mean a few little morsels now and again to keep you hanging on. When are you going to wake up? You sound like a really nice guy. Its a shame you don't realise that you are worth way more than this crap.
andyg99 Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 I guarantee you that she was affectionate with OM. And ouch I know that hurt. She should have kissed the top of your foot and trailed a line of kisses up your leg and gave you a great bout of oral sex before bed. Geeze. following this thread this is the first time I heard that she lacked affection... you're right pix, I bet she had no problem showing affection with the male model she lived with until she came back looking for a roof over her head. surf - this is the third thread you have started on this subject, each time you get a new set of folks giving you the same damn advice... I bet by the time you start thread number 100 you'll be getting the same replies. When will you learn that you need to be on your own, if you keep hanging on maybe by the time you're 60 she may kiss your face instead of your foot... again I'm sorry for being so harsh, but you need to move on and get your dignity back...
Darth Vader Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 following this thread this is the first time I heard that she lacked affection... you're right pix, I bet she had no problem showing affection with the male model she lived with until she came back looking for a roof over her head. surf - this is the third thread you have started on this subject, each time you get a new set of folks giving you the same damn advice... I bet by the time you start thread number 100 you'll be getting the same replies. When will you learn that you need to be on your own, if you keep hanging on maybe by the time you're 60 she may kiss your face instead of your foot... again I'm sorry for being so harsh, but you need to move on and get your dignity back... Agreed! To bump Plasma's post i read the first few posts dude WTF , you enjoy the pain and misery .... Again I agree! What part about your "whore wife" doesn't care about you, don't you understand? She doesn't give a DAMN about you! Drop the BITCH!
Author Surfer203 Posted July 25, 2011 Author Posted July 25, 2011 More abuse from all of you. __ The weekend was actually good. We got a long very well. There was not fighting really. My wife took me to the beach for the day on Saturday and a movie on Sunday and some gift shopping for my nephew's birthday. Not a wild weekend, but a good one. Since our talk last week I have noticed her behavior and attitude has changed quite a bit. That last talk may have knocked something loose in her head. Also, she was offered that job. Not sure when she starts, she will find out today. But this is good news, not as much money as she made before but not too far off, plus benefits that she did not get prior. This is going to make things a lot easier in the financial department. Our relationship, let's see.. I am not getting my hopes up still but am a little more optimistic about the potential for us to make it work. I wouldn't put money on it however.
Ms. Red Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 You know more than anyone posting here how your relationship with your wife is Surfer! If you feel you still have a chance then go for it! I support you if she efffffs you or if she shows you she's the wife you want her to be. I support you no matter what the outcome my friend!
Author Surfer203 Posted July 25, 2011 Author Posted July 25, 2011 Yeah, getting some good vibes. I am wondering whether it is BS. Or if she is really trying, I think she is really putting in effort this time around. I know PegNosePete will chime in at any moment and say "Is she cooking you bacon and eggs every morning?" haha. Regardless I am seeing some change. Let's hope it keeps up. Thanks for your support Ms. Red.
PegNosePete Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 Nah, you need to watch your cholesterol, is she making you muesli every morning?
Author Surfer203 Posted July 25, 2011 Author Posted July 25, 2011 PNP - I am too young to watch my cholesterol, actually.. it never hurts to watch it. Muesli and oatmeal for breakfast every morning or some delicious Raisin Bran. I like to live dangerously sometimes.
Tech_E Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 What about sex and intimacy? Without it you are just roomates.
reboot Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 I hope "good vibes" aren't just "wishful thinking". I went through a lot of that.
worldgonewrong Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 PNP - I am too young to watch my cholesterol, actually.. it never hurts to watch it. Never too young -- I clocked a high cholesterol count in my mid-20s. And I'm not a fat guy nor do I eat a lot of greasy stuff either.
Author Surfer203 Posted July 25, 2011 Author Posted July 25, 2011 Tech_E: Intimacy is coming back slowly. I realize the less fighting there is the closer we are. Maybe she is not letting her guard down in that department due to all of the turmoil. reboot: Not wishful thinking anymore.. I kind of am neutral on this now. Whatever happens.. I'm cool with it. wgw: I am in the same boat as you but you really never know it could affect any one. I try to keep healthy and in shape, eat right, etc.
reboot Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 She is still witholding sex? Yikes man. She just doesn't want to let her guard down... you know, like she did with OM.
Author Surfer203 Posted July 25, 2011 Author Posted July 25, 2011 Would you want to have sex with a guy who gets angry at every little thing and is constantly fighting with you and ruining your day?
sumdude Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 (edited) Would you want to have sex with a guy who gets angry at every little thing and is constantly fighting with you and ruining your day? Well if the shoe we're on the other foot. If I had lied, cheated, left then came back yet still offering little but crumbs of affection and occasional housework I might understand why he's so pissed off all the time. So not getting off of it, adding loads of sexual frustration and blue balls to the mix is not going to help. If I was trying to make up for my wrongs with a woman my tongue and tally whacker would almost have blisters from trying to please her and make her feel good! and here you are posting like it's all your fault? Good god man... it's not a marriage right now. It's roommates.. except my roommate pays his rent on time every month. Surfer... I'm at a loss at this point. Sex is a natural, normal and necessary part of a love relationship. It creates bonding through body chemistry and emotional well being. I understand you really want this to work and still feel you love her. But other than crumbs of affection and her at least trying to get a job this 'marriage' doesn't seem to be going anywhere. I know from past experience in relationships that one of the the best barometers of the health of a relationship is the quality and/or quantity of physical affection & sex. Best of luck to you. Edited July 25, 2011 by sumdude
Author Surfer203 Posted July 25, 2011 Author Posted July 25, 2011 Thanks sumdude. If that was the only measure of our marriage, I would give us the old RIP. Let's see, we talked about it this weekend. Since we have not been intimate recently, I tried to probe her regarding whether there was something else going on, maybe an affair or her talking to another man or something. Nada, I believe her. Time to move this in a new direction.
reboot Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 Sounds like she's convinced you it's your fault for being angry.
andyg99 Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 I tried to probe her regarding whether there was something else going on, maybe an affair or her talking to another man or something. Nada, I believe her. Time to move this in a new direction. so she wouldn't lie to you about something like an affair? Wow.... how about saying give me your phone, let's go through the calls and texts for the past week... who cares if she gets offended or pissed - you shouldn't be trusting her and she should accept that based on what she has done... I give you credit for taking some responsibility for your troubles with her but I fear you are now blaming yourself 100% for things that are not your fault, you are now agreeing that she is right about not wanting to be intimate with you?? WTF???... how many more posts do you want to read until you do something about your life???!?!?!
Author Surfer203 Posted July 25, 2011 Author Posted July 25, 2011 reboot and andyg99: Nope, it is based on what SHE did. I do take responsibility for not being able to control my reactions only, not my feelings. No, I don't think she is right for not wanting that - I was throwing it out there as a possible cause, or something delaying it.
Author Surfer203 Posted July 25, 2011 Author Posted July 25, 2011 And regarding the cellphone history, I could just log onto to our providers website and look through the records, that's how I caught her cheating in the first place. I have been tempted lately to do that just in case.
reboot Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 At this point I'm not sure what kind of advice you're looking for. You have your mind made up and argue with everything everyone says.
Author Surfer203 Posted July 25, 2011 Author Posted July 25, 2011 That's because I am not asking for advice, at this point. The next time our ship starts to head in another direction I want every one here to know what has been going on. Inevitably something is going happen, good or bad and I will need advice and support when it does.
Tech_E Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 Seriously? You are actually justifying her not having sex with you? Really? Oh man oh man. Surfer my friend. She really has you twisted around her little finger doesn't she? She has treated you like an old dog and you sit there lapping at her feet gobbling up every little crumb she is willling to hand out. Oh my lord man! I wish you the best, I really do and from the bottom of my heart as well, but this has gone too far for even me.... To read you say that you agree with her regarding sex? You don't have a marriage my friend, you have a gal pal. Sorry but that is what you have. Good luck, but I can read this no more, it is insane.
Lexygirl Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 (edited) Would you want to have sex with a guy who gets angry at every little thing and is constantly fighting with you and ruining your day? Surfer !!!!!!! SHE ruined your outlook on life, marriage, love... SHE MOVED IN WITH ANOTHER MAN !! WAKE UP !! You have EVERY right to be angry at times !! I'm sure there are times when you could handle things a bit more calmly but SO WHAT ?! I mean she should be not only kissing your feet but also bringing you your slippers, THEN kissing your ass, giving your a BJ and THEN showing you how much she appreciates you LETTING her back home with you by making love to you.... You get angry during fights... cool ! Then have some angry sex or make up sex !! ugh !! And well I have a question for you... I don't understand what you two eat for meals if she doesn't cook? I'm totally confused there. Edited July 25, 2011 by Lexygirl
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