littleghoul Posted July 22, 2011 Posted July 22, 2011 I've been lurking for a few months and I feel like I really need to vent and you guys will actually understand me I met a guy online *gasp* about this time last year. I'd seen him for about a year before that but we never really talked until he confessed he had a crush on me. We started texting and that led to talking on the phone and I really started liking this guy. In October he came down here and spent two weeks with me, and I guess...I fell in love we him. We've been doing the LDR thing for 9 months now, visiting each other when we can and I'm planning on moving when I can afford it. Recently I told him that I don't think I can afford living on my own and he offered to ask his roommate if I could move in with him, just for a few months until I can get a steady job and get my own place. His roommate still hasn't given him a yes or no answer after 2 weeks! My job now is seasonal, and it has been very slow...so saving money has been very difficult. I'm completely torn. If his roommate says yes, I will be SO happy and I'd be there in a heartbeat. If she says no, then I guess I'll be stuck here and I really don't know if I can do this for much longer without a definite end date. I feel like there is so much pressure on me to save money and get out there, I hardly ever go out, go shopping, or spend money on anything other than the necessities, while he goes out to the bar a few times a week and pretty much does whatever bloody well pleases, I'm beginning to feel a little bit resentful. I love him so much, he's the most amazing man in the world and I would hate to break up and always be wondering, "what if" If anyone has words of wisdom or encouragement or advice, I'd love to hear it.
creighton0123 Posted July 22, 2011 Posted July 22, 2011 Is there something preventing you from moving closer to him while getting roommates of your own? It's understandable that his roommate might be hesitant. One always feels abused if your roommate brings a romantic interest in without paying bills, even if only for a "short" while.
Author littleghoul Posted July 23, 2011 Author Posted July 23, 2011 I actually didn't think of that...I think that could work. The only problem I can foresee is finding the actual roommate in a city where I know very few people. Also, if I do somehow end up moving in with him and his roommate I WILL be paying a portion of the rent/utilities. I aint no mooch
creighton0123 Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 I actually didn't think of that...I think that could work. The only problem I can foresee is finding the actual roommate in a city where I know very few people. Also, if I do somehow end up moving in with him and his roommate I WILL be paying a portion of the rent/utilities. I aint no mooch That will be pretty easy if it is a city that is decent in size. There are a few options: 1. Go to any colleges in the area and ask where the roommate board is. Most colleges have them. 2. Check out apartment searching on craigslist if your city is listed. Most larger cities are on CL and there are always plenty of people looking for roommates. 3. If your boyfriend works or goes to school, have him ask his colleagues/classmates if they know anyone seeking a room. 4. Most community service groups or religious groups will be able to ask their members if anyone is willing to rent a room. Renting a single room in a house is more secure and cheaper. 5. Speak to an area realtor and ask if they know of any local venues/programs for finding roommates. The options are endless. You may have to take a trip to your boyfriends and stay with him for a week or two while you search. Moving to a new city, ESPECIALLY when you don't know anyone, is a grand adventure. Approach it as such.
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