PUflight Posted April 25, 2004 Posted April 25, 2004 Alright here's my deal, I just got out of a long term relationship like a month ago and am new to this dating stuff again. So I met this girl this weekend through a mutual friend, her sorority sister and I can't get her out of my mind. We danced all night at the bars on Friday night, kissed etc. Then Saturday talked on the phone a little, and met up at the bars again, she left, then called me to tell me where she was and I met up with her again. We danced again, kissed again etc. So school's over in two weeks and I'm wondering when I should make my move. I want to ask her out for Friday, so I was wondering when I should call her to do this? I was thinking no contact with her until Tuesday unless she calls me first. I forgot how this game works. If anyone knows how I should do this, let me know. thanks!
USAsian228 Posted April 25, 2004 Posted April 25, 2004 the sooner you recognize that no part of dating should be a game, the better. at this stage, do what you think is best, keeping in mind your respect for her, you, and a possible relationship. call her now if you want - just be honest in your actions. and be real with her. the last thing a woman wants is some dude running game on her. so you like her... big deal. let her know it by giving her a call... she is obviously interested, so game playing should not be on the table. if you really want to get her attention, call her and say this: "i had fun the other night.... i haven't been in the dating scene for a while and i don't know how all this dating stuff works sometimes, but i do know that i enjoy your company and i'd like to take you out friday night." if your hesitation in calling her has anything to do with your concern that she sees you as vulnerable, i assure you that even if she thinks this, which she probably won't, you will be that much more "cute" by showing that you are vulnerable. and real. and honest about your feelings. don't concentrate on when to call her. concentrate on what to do and how to treat her on the date. take her out. treat her with respect and show her you are more interested in her thoughts than with hitting the sheets. and dare to be different - don't hit the sheets right now or in the immediate future if you really care about her. (and if you really care about yourself, actually.) think about questions before hand to ask her on your date that show you actually care - girls like to talk, and they are not stupid - you will be watched, no matter how many times she has kissed you up to now... she will be sizing you up as a possible mate, so be prepared - a night of drunken kissing and dancing at the bars is much different than a date where you actually have to come up for air and chat. she knows you can kiss, so you better have something more to keep her attention on the date. so call her and get that over with - and then start planning the date - and be original - and don't go to a movie - that's not a good way to show a girl you care on the first date.... plan something that is interactive and fun - something stupid that shows originality....goofy golf... challenge her to a go-cart race... plan a picnic and bring some cool music to listen to.... or a nice romantic dinner and then a night of conversation by a lake under the stars.... what you do on an initial date such as this speaks volumes of what kind of guy you are.... and don't think for one minute that this is lost on a girl. and it is not about how much money you spend, it's about the thought you put into the date and the interaction between you two... you may have all the moves on the dance floor, but you better concentrate on your moves when it is just you and her getting to know each other - the more prepared you are for the entire date, the better, so think it through and show her a night that leaves no doubt in her mind that you are a considerate, thoughtful guy.... and give your reality some thought, too - you are coming off a long term relationship - examine your motives for wanting to date this soon... there's nothing wrong with taking things slow. and pay attention to the details with respect to grooming, your ride, your residence, etc.... girls scope all of this out and base their opinion of you on every bit of it. a clean place, a spotless ride, smart clothes, and clean, cut fingernails will score points every time - and she will notice EVERYTHING..... and shine your shoes if you wear shoes that can be shined. and in my opinion, you should wear shoes that need to be shined on a first date unless you are headed to the go-carts or a picnic or something like that.... nothing dressy, just something with some style to it that shows her you know how to dress to impress.... again, she will see this as your concern for yourself, and ultimately, her. oh, and be a gentleman and open doors for her. and not just on the first date. always. if it gets serious and she describes you to her mother, its a huge feather in your cap. and if you don't have a gay male friend, find one and listen to him. we hear a lot from girls and we know what they say about you straight boys ... you can gain valuable insight from a homo... (and we are really not interested in you - you are too much damn work, as our female friends can ditto)... but everything i have written is based on what i have heard from women and their experiences with men. they open up to us about everything, and boy do i mean everything. (bad breath is a huge problem, so invest in mints and pop them always - and offer her one).. so there's a lot more... but hopefully, this will get you started... good luck.
Author PUflight Posted April 25, 2004 Author Posted April 25, 2004 Thanks for the response! It's greatly appreciated!
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