lisa69 Posted July 22, 2011 Posted July 22, 2011 Hello- I have been with my bf for about a 1 1/2 years. Today I talked to one of his ex's on FB. They only dated for about 3 months. She told me he bought her a lot of things, wanted to buy her a car, met her family friends ect. She said he got very possessive and jealous. So she called it off. When she did, he showed up at her work with an engagement ring. OK- SO my problem is after almost 2 years, he has yet to buy me a thing. Doesn't want to meet my friends, only has met my dad. I told him I talked to her and asked him why such a change in treatment? How can he be so good to her and not to me. He said he was doing ALOT of drinking then, just getting a divorce, ect. Was just parting hard. And now he KNOWS he wants and thats to be with ME, and marry me. So he's taking his time and all. Does this make sense to anyone? Is he trying to save money for our future? We have talked about getting a house together, and me moving in. So I dont know. I was just really sad he gave her so much in so little time. Thanks!
Enchanted Girl Posted July 22, 2011 Posted July 22, 2011 With his ex, he acted like a psycho and you are upset that he's not acting like a psycho with you? Be happy that you got him when he was more emotionally stable. Now, that being said, there's nothing wrong with seriously talking about marriage and/or living together after being together for one and a half years, so feel free to talk to him about it and your frustrations, but don't mention that past as part of it when he was struggling and drunk and not emotionally healthy.
Author lisa69 Posted July 22, 2011 Author Posted July 22, 2011 NOOO thats not it at all! I am glad he is it a psycho! You took that wrong:) I am just I just felt like he was more into her than me thats all. But I guess if he is making future plans with me (has yet to COMMIT to them) then I should just be happy. And I am. It just threw me off. It was like she was talking about a totally different person.
sm1tten Posted July 22, 2011 Posted July 22, 2011 Why were you talking to his ex? Why are you comparing your relationship to theirs? But was it bothering you before you spoke to her or are you just jealous of this relationship? If you are unhappy with your boyfriend -him not meeting your friends, etc - that's one thing. But this post is almost entirely about HER and THEIR relationship and that's something you need to let go of as it does not and should not concern YOUR relationship with him.
Author lisa69 Posted July 22, 2011 Author Posted July 22, 2011 She contacted me through FB. She seen a picture of us through a mutual friend and we started talking. Anyways- YES I am jealous he gave her stuff and so much attention. What woman wouldn't be! We just had our anniversary and I didn't get anything. Its not even about material things, he could have just gave me a cheap card. It just made me feel like ****. He proposed to her after 3 months! And here it is 2 years, but I am supposed to be "the one".
sm1tten Posted July 22, 2011 Posted July 22, 2011 Well, congratulate her. Her intention was to stir up some **** and she was totally successful. Wouldn't you rather have a man who is talking about buying a house for the two of you to live in, than a guy who is so possessive and jealous that he's willing to buy your affection? Do you have doubts about your relationship that are independent of his relationship with her? What I mean is, do you have doubts that he is serious about you because of how he acts in the relationship with you... not because of the difference between how he acted with her?
Author lisa69 Posted July 22, 2011 Author Posted July 22, 2011 I dont have doubts about our relationship. I know he loves me. You have made me rethink things. I will stop obsessing over their past relationship. Thanks
Ruby Slippers Posted July 22, 2011 Posted July 22, 2011 Exes are not the most reliable source of information. But if he has not even given you as much as a small anniversary gift, not even a card or small trinket, ever -- yeah, that's not good.
NursingGirl Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 There ya go, show him the post above mine...I think it was a few suggestions of gifts! He sounds stable now but wow, yeah, he needs to at least buy you a card or make one even if he is saving every dime for a house. I don't get that.
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