Blush1234 Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 (edited) Ok here is my story about 3 maybe 4 years ago the receptionist at my husband’s word was quitting, and sometime after she did I saw a facebook message from my husband to her saying "you gave me the wrong number" So I confronted him and asked why are you calling? His response was just to see how she is doing etc. So I explained to him that this is not accepted able and he agreed not to do it again. Then in this past year yet another receptionist at his work was having a hard time with the other staff and he had been calling her several times sometimes for up to 70 min per conversation but never when I was home of course So I confronted him and yet again he weaselled his way out of it, making me feel like a total idiot, he had told me that she had given him his number and asked him to call her leading him to believe the problems may include him for some odd reason but hone4stly 4 calls over 1 weekend seriously, So he said he would do whatever it takes for me to stay I told him to tell her it has to stop and made him record it, so he did and I listened to it I have to say it was truly pathetic him telling her almost like it was neither of their fault, that it was the people in the office that were talking about it and spreading lies, Well of course I was pissed so I asked him to take a polygraph which he said he would not do because he was afraid for his health what a moron, So now I am not too sure what to do and this was almost a year ago we have been married for 22 years this year anyone advice would be greatly appreciated [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] Edited July 21, 2011 by Blush1234
bentnotbroken Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 Sounds like your husband is fishing off the end of the company peer. From what you post, it seems he is instigating all contact. Do you want to be with someone like that? Why or why not?
Spark1111 Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 It sounds like your husband needs to rescue these young damsels in distress because it makes him feel important and powerful and...admired by young, sweet women. That's a big uh-oh flag for a mid-life crises. Sounds like he hasn't stopped being their Knight in Shining Armor, even after you have caught him, not once, but twice. I think you two need to get to counseling and address this TOGETHER, pronto, before his need for this type of admiration makes him very, very vulnerable to crossing the lines into infidelity.
silktricks Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 What kind of result are you hoping for? All kinds of advice is possible based on what you've posted, but some may not have a hope of producing the desired results.
Kidd Posted July 22, 2011 Posted July 22, 2011 Time to GPS his car or put in a voice recorder or both. Follow your gut. My gut says you'll find something.
Bycherwurm Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 So I explained to him that this is not accepted able and he agreed not to do it again... he weaselled his way out of it... tell her it has to stop and made him record it ... it was truly pathetic ... I was pissed so I asked him to take a polygraph ... what a moron ... Do you even like your husband anymore? There's very little information here as to what caused you not to trust him anymore. If there's nothing in your history with trust/cheating issues, not allowing him to so much as speak to another female after 19-years of marriage seems a little dominating. If there's something to cause you to feel this way, perhaps saying a little about it might help. Otherwise, I see you referring to your husband as a weasel, a moron, a pathetic liar, and someone you think you reign over rather than someone you walk with through life. He is, from the paragraphs above, someone you do not respect nor trust. So, the question at this point isn't "Is he cheating?", it's more of "Do I even care about him?" Is the cheating important beyond control, or is it a vestigial representation of respect for a master?
alexandria35 Posted July 24, 2011 Posted July 24, 2011 Do you even like your husband anymore? There's very little information here as to what caused you not to trust him anymore. If there's nothing in your history with trust/cheating issues, not allowing him to so much as speak to another female after 19-years of marriage seems a little dominating. If there's something to cause you to feel this way, perhaps saying a little about it might help. Otherwise, I see you referring to your husband as a weasel, a moron, a pathetic liar, and someone you think you reign over rather than someone you walk with through life. He is, from the paragraphs above, someone you do not respect nor trust. So, the question at this point isn't "Is he cheating?", it's more of "Do I even care about him?" Is the cheating important beyond control, or is it a vestigial representation of respect for a master? I kind of agree with the above response. I'm thinking you have left out a lot of information and history. Have you caught him cheating before? What is the state of your marriage. Do you and your husband love and respect each other? Do you consider your husband a friend and are you a friend to him? By reading your opening post you seem to have a great deal of anger and disdain for your husband. Why is this?
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