ditto16 Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 Im just looking for some advice as I am a bit confused and not sure what to do! Me and my ex broke up about 6 weeks ago and we were in contact a bit but did not see each other. One day she asked if wanted to come over and visit her and have dinner. I decided to go and it was a bit awkward but nice to see her. She seemed really emotional. In her room my stuff was still in the same place and all our photos were still up on the wall and by the bed as I used to live there. When I went to leave she burst in to tears. I asked her what was wrong and she said nothing she just didn't feel well. I gave her a hug and said you know where I am if you need anything and I left. A few days later I sent her a text just to ask if she was feeling better and she said she was. It has been nearly 3 weeks since then and was the last time we had contact. I am about to move in to my own place and need to get the rest of my stuff from her house. I'm not sure if or how I should break NC. As much as I have been getting on with my life, this last week she has been in my thoughts more and more and i'm missing her quite a bit. I don't really want to break NC and ideally would like her to contact me first. Would just like to know what I should do and where we stand! Thanks!
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 I gave her a hug and said you know where I am if you need anything Well, Never do this. It just shows her that she will always have you even without a relationship. As far as getting your stuff goes you could always have a mutual friend get the stuff for you (providing there's nothing real heavy or big). Or if you can live without the stuff that is there just leave it and let her contact you, but you risk never getting your stuff back if you take this approach.
Author ditto16 Posted July 25, 2011 Author Posted July 25, 2011 i think my intentions were just so she knows she can contact me at any time but i see what you mean. Im thinking about calling her...would this be a good move? I do miss her in my life and would like to reconnect with her
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 I would stay silent, by initiating contact it will just set you back. I assume she knows your phone number or some other means of communication with you, if she wants to contact you she will. But I wouldn't put your life on hold and wait for her to contact you, that'll just make your situation seem worse.
Author ditto16 Posted July 27, 2011 Author Posted July 27, 2011 So after nearly 4 weeks of NC I got a text last night that said... Hey, long time no speak. Hope you're well. You've got post from the exam board at college, do u want me to fwd it somewhere? This confused me a bit as we only live 2 min walk away from each other at the moment. I am about to move in to a new place in 2 weeks. I not sure if im over analysing it as I kept thinking is she trying to find out where my new place is or if its just an excuse to contact me as the mail is only my results which I already know. I replied with... Hello stranger!! How ya doing? Let's meet for a drink next week and you can give it me then! and what I got back was.. Next weeks really bad for me, I can post it for you and catch up another time. Let me know your address Its only mail and is not important. Is this games or is she trying to reach out? I just dont understand...or maybe im over thinking everything
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 You're making yourself too available to her. Agree with Layzie89, you wouldn't call a random girl you don't know, start talking to her, and when she starts giving signs that she is willing to talk to you ask her to meet at your place. so don't do that here. your ex didn't show any interest, she actually showed a lot of disinterest because she doesn't want to see you. by mailing that stuff out she doesn't need to see you or talk to you. If she did want to know where your new place is located she would wait until she knows you are living there, ask for your address, and offer to drop the stuff off... but she didn't.
Johnny85 Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 I agree with everyone else. You should give her A LOT of space. Why don't you just give her your new address and stop talking to her? Right now anything you do or say will be wrong in her eyes. Therefore, it is better to say nothing for a few months. I wish I would have taken everyone's advice when I first started posting here. I hope you follow suit! Otherwise you will "most likely" learn the hard way.
Author ditto16 Posted July 28, 2011 Author Posted July 28, 2011 I understand. I mean i have been giving her space and she did initiate contact with me. Ill just give her my current address and leave it be as much as its killing me with confusion and missing her
2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 agree with above leave her well alone do not make emotional mistakes as you will learn the hard way. I did and it's been 8 gruelling months of absolutely nothing from my ex and I think this will be continuing indefinitely. 2011
Author ditto16 Posted August 2, 2011 Author Posted August 2, 2011 so i got a text from her this morning. it read... Hey. Just to say im thinking of you today. We have to believe that we did the right thing. Thank you for being my everything through that. Sending you so much love. Xx This day last year we had an abortion due to circumstances and i believe this is what she is writing about. The problem is i dont know what to reply or even if i should reply Thanks
Author ditto16 Posted August 25, 2011 Author Posted August 25, 2011 I replied to her message quite a few hours later as i didnt know what to say or where i stood with it was the right decision. i hope your ok. and she replied with no i am not ok i have needed you all day. Now we have had no contact againfor 3 weeks and my urges to make contact are growing bigger and bigger. There are still photos of us together on facebook and i just dont know what to do or think. Im really missing her and want to see her. Would it be a mistake to break NC?
flitzanu Posted August 25, 2011 Posted August 25, 2011 i say big mistake to break NC. my opinion. your post about the mail, you said you should meet for a drink, she said "no i'm busy". that means she doesn't WANT to see you. now, don't give me excuses, i don't give a Fk how busy you are...if you want to see someone you make time. she didn't. stay NC. she's just starting to use you emotionally now bc you're gone, and you're allowing it, so stop giving in. you're not her doormat.
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