lemonlegs Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 Has anyone ever been in a situation where friends inadvertently mentioned that you could do better than the person you are/were with? Whether it's regarding looks, wealth, etc.. Me and my ex boyfriend are attempting to reconcile, so the people who said this were under the impression that we still were broken up. I'm sure a lot of people will say that it is shallow and disrespectful for people to say that, but as I said, it was something no one ever said WHILE we were together...just got me thinkin' is all....
fishtaco Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 Yes. But bottom line is it's YOUR relationship. As long as you're happy, then it's good enough. But the trick is you need to know what makes you happy. Believe it or not, this is a very difficult question to answer, and no one can answer that for you.
zengirl Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 That's a total frenemy thing to do unless it's a case of abuse or something where the friend you're trying to convince could do better has low self esteem and is being harmed by the relationship emotionally or physically. But mostly it's just people being jerks. Ignore them.
Author lemonlegs Posted July 21, 2011 Author Posted July 21, 2011 Yes. But bottom line is it's YOUR relationship. As long as you're happy, then it's good enough. But the trick is you need to know what makes you happy. Believe it or not, this is a very difficult question to answer, and no one can answer that for you. Absolutely. You'd think I'd know if I was happy, but I've realized over the past two months, it's extremely difficult to know what makes you happy at this moment in time.
OliveOyl Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 Absolutely. You'd think I'd know if I was happy, but I've realized over the past two months, it's extremely difficult to know what makes you happy at this moment in time. It can be difficult. That's why I sometimes wince when I see people with long laundry lists. Chances are a lot of those laundry list items will have no impact on the quality of the relationship. It's definitely a process of discovery and why I would advocate people to enjoy even those relationships that they think might not lead to marriage, just for the learning process of what is truly important, and what isn't.
sm1tten Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 Yes. Unless the person is an absolute **** to you, no one wants to say it while the relationship is ongoing, but once it flounders/hits the rocks/is over everybody swears you can do better. It never made the decision for me but if it was someone who's opinion I trusted it did make me think.
Author lemonlegs Posted July 21, 2011 Author Posted July 21, 2011 Yes. Unless the person is an absolute **** to you, no one wants to say it while the relationship is ongoing, but once it flounders/hits the rocks/is over everybody swears you can do better. It never made the decision for me but if it was someone who's opinion I trusted it did make me think. Exactly. The guy who said it (no, he's not interested whatsoever, we've known each other for over 10 years) referred to him as my "ex-boyfriend" so he was very well under the impression that we were no longer together. Then my girlfriend agreed saying, "Don't get me wrong, _______ is a great guy, but you could do better than him if you really wanted to..."
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