kiss_andmakeup Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 (edited) So, things are going really well with the new guy! We've been dating for almost 3 months. We've naturally started referring to each other as bf/gf...no "talk" necessary (other than an exclusivity talk a few weeks after we began dating). He met my family last week, I am meeting his next week, and I've met many of his close friends. Our work schedules are a bit opposite during the week but he invites me to stay with him every weekend. We have so much fun together - we go to a show at least every other weekend (we are both indie music enthusiasts), go out to dinner, bar hop, take road trips, hang out with friends together. Stuff is overall awesome. So, one night after a particularly fun concert and a few too many drinks, we were laying in bed talking. He started saying something like "I really want to tell you something but I'm afraid...I've never felt this way about anyone so strongly and so quickly..." Of course, being a bit intoxicated and being smitten with him as well, I persisted with him to "tell me!" "I think I love you," he says as he kisses my stomach. I think I spent around 10 seconds just smiling before replying, "I think I love you too." And I really meant it. We talked and kissed a little longer before falling asleep. This was almost two weeks ago. Since then, neither of us have said the "L" word. I, of course, being a girl, now worry that he only said it because he was intoxicated (though to be fair, we've been more than a few drinks in together before, and that was the first time he'd said it). I'm not really ready to be saying "I love you!" at the end of every phone call, at every good-bye, after every goodnight text. So maybe it's better this way. But now I feel like I should be the one to say it again...since he made himself so transparent and vulnerable in being the first one to say it. Since I know it will come up, yes, his actions have indeed indicated, before and after the dropping of the "L" bomb, that he loves me. He went to great lengths to find me a ticket to a sold-out show that he and his friend already had tickets for so that I could go along (I, of course, did not ask him to do this). We're going to his friend's wedding together tomorrow and he's asked me to bring my camera since his mom wants a photo. He does sweet little things, like grabbing me a tee shirt when he goes to a sporting event with his friends. He's affectionate and considerate, never cold or distant. So his actions are indicative of genuine love. We've had conversations about relationships since last weekend and he mentioned that he struggles with feeling so vulnerable...that it scares him a bit. I feel like that might have been my queue, but I was too chicken to say it. Should I use the "L" word again, or just wait for him to bring it up? Edited July 21, 2011 by kiss_andmakeup
zengirl Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 It sounds like you've got him. I wouldn't worry about using the L-word strategically or not using it strategically. Some analyzing or fussing about it at all. If you feel driven to say it again, say it. If not, don't. You guys will get into the rhythm with this as naturally as you got into the rhythm with everything else. People make too much of the words ILY. If everything is still going smoothly, just relax and enjoy it!
tigressA Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 It sounds like you've got him. I wouldn't worry about using the L-word strategically or not using it strategically. Some analyzing or fussing about it at all. If you feel driven to say it again, say it. If not, don't. You guys will get into the rhythm with this as naturally as you got into the rhythm with everything else. People make too much of the words ILY. If everything is still going smoothly, just relax and enjoy it! I agree! If you want to say it, just say it. Don't worry about timing or anything else. BF and I dropped the "L-bomb" rather quickly (he said it first) and it was really casual and sweet. Sooooo happy that things are marvelous between you and this new dude; you deserve it!
Author kiss_andmakeup Posted July 21, 2011 Author Posted July 21, 2011 It sounds like you've got him. I wouldn't worry about using the L-word strategically or not using it strategically. Some analyzing or fussing about it at all. If you feel driven to say it again, say it. If not, don't. You guys will get into the rhythm with this as naturally as you got into the rhythm with everything else. People make too much of the words ILY. If everything is still going smoothly, just relax and enjoy it! I agree! If you want to say it, just say it. Don't worry about timing or anything else. BF and I dropped the "L-bomb" rather quickly (he said it first) and it was really casual and sweet. Sooooo happy that things are marvelous between you and this new dude; you deserve it! Thanks guys, I completely agree with you. I figured I should probably just say it when it feels natural, but I'm a little scared, too! I guess since everything up to this point has been so natural, I shouldn't have anything to be worried about. And thanks for the support, TigressA.
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