EDC Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 I asked a friend of mine to hang out, mostly to go out and eat a few times. Can she misconstrue this as a date? So as that, I keep telling her to see other guys. We haven't spoken to each other for a while, so should I ask her to hang out even though I try really hard to convince myself that I don't like her? The problem is, don't think of me as a jerk, but I just see her as a buddy most of the time when we hang out. But when I don't see her , I start to miss her and think about her romantically, so I'm really confused as to whether I missed her because I like her, or I miss her because I haven't seen her in a while. Also, she said that after she's done her job, which is the end of June, she'll call me to hang out. But she hasn't. That's what I'm so confused about. Should I call her because I like her romantically, or because I should call her because we haven't spoke in a while as friends.
betterdeal Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 Call her because you want to talk with her. That's the only reason to call someone. Put whatever label on your intentions that you like; it doesn't matter. You want to speak to her, so speak to her.
zengirl Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 I asked a friend of mine to hang out, mostly to go out and eat a few times. Can she misconstrue this as a date? So as that, I keep telling her to see other guys. We haven't spoken to each other for a while, so should I ask her to hang out even though I try really hard to convince myself that I don't like her? The problem is, don't think of me as a jerk, but I just see her as a buddy most of the time when we hang out. But when I don't see her , I start to miss her and think about her romantically, so I'm really confused as to whether I missed her because I like her, or I miss her because I haven't seen her in a while. Also, she said that after she's done her job, which is the end of June, she'll call me to hang out. But she hasn't. That's what I'm so confused about. Should I call her because I like her romantically, or because I should call her because we haven't spoke in a while as friends. Okay, these are three different questions. 1. Can two friends getting together be misconstrued as a date? Sure, sometimes, if there's underlying romantic tension or something. But I get dinner with male friends all the time and it's not a date---because we are clearly established as friends. 2. Should you call her? If you want to call her, call her. But see #3 3. Are you romantically interested in her? I've no idea, but you should probably figure it out pretty darn quick if you want any hope of having a real friendship OR romance with this girl. I'd suggest starting to figure it out FIRST before calling this girl. She doesn't need your weird head drama.
rafallus Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 If you don't know what you want from her, better figure it out before you make the next move, regardless of what it is.
Author EDC Posted July 21, 2011 Author Posted July 21, 2011 Okay, these are three different questions. 1. Can two friends getting together be misconstrued as a date? Sure, sometimes, if there's underlying romantic tension or something. But I get dinner with male friends all the time and it's not a date---because we are clearly established as friends. 2. Should you call her? If you want to call her, call her. But see #3 3. Are you romantically interested in her? I've no idea, but you should probably figure it out pretty darn quick if you want any hope of having a real friendship OR romance with this girl. I'd suggest starting to figure it out FIRST before calling this girl. She doesn't need your weird head drama. To answer #3, I'm not sure! When I don't see her for a long time, I think about her, and sometimes I think about her romantically as well. But when I do see her, those feelings go away and I just treat her like a normal friend. I really really want to just be friends with her, but I can't because I think I may have romantic feelings for her.
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